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Womens Issues:help me

2006-09-28

Name: shanti Hi,
My mil has a very high opinion about her parents and her siblings. She hates her inlaws (i.e. fil's parents and relatives). Initially I wouldn't get why her inlaws are always pissed off at her. Now gradually I have realized her true colors. She just can't stand my parents too. She has always had sarcastic remarks for my parents and ill treats them. She doesn't like me visiting my parents and she herself spends months at her parent's place and when it comes to me she doesn't like if I even spend a week.
I am so disturbed at her attitude. She insists that I should visit her parents and forget about visiting mine. She wants me to accept her parents as mine and wants me to discard mine. I don't know how to deal with her. No matter how wrong she is, she has tricks to prove that she is correct and I am wrong. This whole things is driving me crazy. She is a psychopath. Plz help!

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Hi,
My mil has a very high opinion about her parents and her siblings. She hates her inlaws (i.e. fil's parents and relatives). Initially I wouldn't get why her inlaws are always pissed off at her. Now gradually I have realized her true colors. She just can't stand my parents too. She has always had sarcastic remarks for my parents and ill treats them. She doesn't like me visiting my parents and she herself spends months at her parent's place and when it comes to me she doesn't like if I even spend a week.
I am so disturbed at her attitude. She insists that I should visit her parents and forget about visiting mine. She wants me to accept her parents as mine and wants me to discard mine. I don't know how to deal with her. No matter how wrong she is, she has tricks to prove that she is correct and I am wrong. This whole things is driving me crazy. She is a psychopath. Plz help! Trs replied. Have you ever confronted your MIL? how would she react if she knew how you felt? try it...and it does not need be a volatile confrontation. Who knows, it might work to your advantage?
The fact that she tries to correct you in everything shows how unsecure she is, and from what I have read, she sounds like a control freak. There is no help for such people, you have to live with them and their neurotic ways until their last days-unfortunately. The best advice is, learn to stand up for yourself. This is 2006 my dear, the days of saas-bahu nataks are over...and tell her that to her face without being scared. you're scared about your husband being mad at you for this? why would he be mad in the face of truth?

God bless,Trs

SHARDA replied. You just have to take your husband into confidence. Speak to him not against you MIL but tell him you want to meet your parents.Rest let him talk to him mother kuntala replied. To answer more I need answers to these questions. What will she do if you dont stop visiting your parents ? What does your husband say about you visiting your parents ? Does he insist on following his mothers orders ?

2006-09-29

Name: Trs
Subject:

to shanthi

Have you ever confronted your MIL? how would she react if she knew how you felt? try it...and it does not need be a volatile confrontation. Who knows, it might work to your advantage?
The fact that she tries to correct you in everything shows how unsecure she is, and from what I have read, she sounds like a control freak. There is no help for such people, you have to live with them and their neurotic ways until their last days-unfortunately. The best advice is, learn to stand up for yourself. This is 2006 my dear, the days of saas-bahu nataks are over...and tell her that to her face without being scared. you're scared about your husband being mad at you for this? why would he be mad in the face of truth?

God bless,Trs

2006-09-28

Name: SHARDA
Subject:

Hope this works

You just have to take your husband into confidence. Speak to him not against you MIL but tell him you want to meet your parents.Rest let him talk to him mother

2006-09-28

Name: kuntala
Subject:

Let me try

To answer more I need answers to these questions. What will she do if you dont stop visiting your parents ? What does your husband say about you visiting your parents ? Does he insist on following his mothers orders ?

2006-09-29

Name: shanti
Subject:

ans-

hi Kuntala,
My husband doesn't say anything to his mom and neither to me. When I am there he agrees with me but when his mom is there he gets too emotional. I haven't stopped going to my parent's place, which makes my mil's blood boil. Actually my parents are not very rich like my mil's parents so they are not able to satisfy her greed. I am very sad friends. Since I have to deal with her on daily basis one day I might lose my sanity.
My hubby is of no use as inspite of knowing his mom is wrong he will never tell her that she is wrong, as anyhow she proves that she is right. So I have to handle it on my own, but i just dont' know how!

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