Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi all,
Its been 5 yrs. I live in US. I came after my marriage , arranged. I had some problems vth my husband for 3-4 yrs. its not that We r still together. and after all these years things are fine between us. we r planning for baby now. finally.
The problem is all the problems v had between us took his friends away . we ignored them a lot because of our own problems and now they dont call us often. I dont have any friend here. not real friend.
My concerned is once I have baby would I be able to take good care ? I still miss my family ,friends back in India badly.
My nature is changed now. I think I am much of a quiet person now . I cannot make much friends.
would that effect my baby also ?
My relationship with my husband is normal now . I cant ignore this fact that it was not that good and now its normal after all these years.
I have dont work here. I will be stay at home mom. I constantly worry about my child's education because I have no experiace of education here in US. We want to spend some time with each other and create some good memories in our life. we went for a good vacation. After 4 yrs we are enjoying real husband-wife time. I dont want baby now but I m 29. my husband is 30. So cant wait any longer. But I dont want to spoil life of my baby also. I want to take good care. Its just I cant get rid of this fear in my mind.
I need some help and some advise from you. things been went very wrong in our life. I just dont know how to restart. Planning for baby is a good idea right now or not ?
pls, spare some time for me. thanks.
I need some mental less cofused replied. thanks Jeena and \" hi there\"
U made me feel better and positive.
I say the same thing to my husband whenever he is down. and he does the same whenever I am down. But to be honest I am trying to be positive. Its hard for me . I try not to express this to may husband. Hopefully having baby is right decision for us.
Sometimes thought of having babygirl scares me . I dont know what kind of thought I will pass on her. I cant see my girl facing same problems ,I did. would I be able to raise her confident and strong ? I feel like I have lost myself somewhere.
Having boy or girl I want them to have faith in marriage system and negative and positive sides of it.
well there are somany things like above confuse me a lot.
I tried to search for a good book about parenting or something related to relationship with kids.
I wonder if some of you can suggest me few.I will be appriciated .
appriciate ur reply. thanks.
hi replied. hello friend

yep this is the right time. cnsidering ur age, after 5 years of marriage and both of u are well ging now. so i think this is the best time. u know what, when u become pregnant , ur hubby will bond with u more and u also enjoy a lot. when baby is born also t'll be more fun than u ever imagined. take little walk with the baby taking care of the little one, both ( u and hubby) sharing the baby things, everything will be more beautiful and the most mportant part is ur relatonship wth ur hubby will get strong.
if u like u can make friends, otherwise also it is fine. u can be a friend and mother to ur child. u can take her/him to playgrounds, where she/he can meet friends. u can send her/him to preschool after 3. also after 5 only kg class starts here. so it is not a problem.
first plan and decide and concieve. then everything'll be fine.
these said friends are only for talking and laughing. u know, when real things comes., they'll not be wth us. especially here in US. so be happy enjoy ur beautful days with husband. and have a very beautiful baby .things wll only become fine. jeena replied. Dear confused

I read your letter and thought of writing to you. You and your husband get alone well now, so even if you don't have friends, you have each other, so why do u worry? If you think thats a problem, you go to them. Start making friends, it won't take a long time at all.

Don't worry about your child's education and all that, you will gradually get to know and you will be able to be a perfect mother for her. you becoming quiet and all that will not affect your baby, u only have to be happy and contented when u r pregnant.

And you and your husband creating memories - I am sure you can do that even after getting pregnant. This seems to be the right time for you. Plan for a baby now and enjoy parenthood. It will be very rewarding.

Take care
jeena