Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi all
I have a very unique problem hope u will understand and give me some suggestion because i am not mentally stable to cope with it.
i got married 3 years back it was love marriage.arond 2 years of relationship .i left my family my career for this marriage.(i dont know wht i did was wrong or right..now)like every gal i also had very high expection for the life ahead..life was cool until my husband's visit to his parents home suddenly he starts changing ..started treating me badly but serious problems started when i got pregnant and at my 6th month of preg my mil visited my place .she completely brainwashed him(i believe...rest i dont know)she has commented lots abt me but i ignore bcoz i was not in a mood to take stress.again she visited at my 9th month but at this time her behaviour was sweet in front of my hubby but bad in his absence.after delivery she made a big drama at that time i opened my mouth because wht she was telling was really bad lanuage used by illitrate person.after this she returned and my husband started shouting over silly silly thing.now my daughter is 8 month old my life has become hell...evev he beats me .last night we had a fight and he told that just bcoz we had physical relation he married to me .this sentence breaks all my capacity .i have listen so many bad things from him and his mother abt my parents,abt myself .even he does not want me to work neither he is giving me money.when comes to my expense he never cooperate.
from last night i am going through very bad condition ...feeling mentally disturbed not able to give attentation to my baby.feeling like wht i do how can i live with a person who has no respect no love for me ....all my dreams are shattered ...not even able to think wht to do...very helpless please do help me hai replied. hi my friend


how r u feeling now dear? better?
hey, life is like this. don't be mad or upset. how is ur baby doing. take good care of her. don't let ur moodiness effect her.

dear friend, life is like this. i don't know why. whether it is love marriage or arranged. this problem s there.
first of all whether u r upset or not, take do all thngs for ur baby don't think of anything else at that time. when she sleeps, just sit down quietly . slowly think. if u want cry for sometime. don't be symphathetic towards yourself. just think about the incidents leading to fight.
what Hema is written is a very good suggestion. ask him that very calmly. clear out the things. u got married because u both want to live together, wanted a peaceful happy family. so TALK with him.

let me say, now only he began his meetings with mom, right, it will take sometime to sort out things. let them say what they want. u do ur baby's things and BE HAPPY.
first of all dear, we all want a happy life, for that, give sometime. let everything cool down. talk with husband. f he is not spending any money for ur needs, wait. first let him understand u totally. when he is free of anger and when he is back with some love, indirectly u can tell him , u also have needs and u have no job now whom should i ask ? like that.
also as hema said try fne a job when daughter becomes 3.
dear friend, wait, that is what all say, all this will over and the sky'll cleaR. LET HIM KNOW, U LOVE HIM NOW ALSO AND AS U BTH WISHED U CAN HAVE A VERY HAPPY FAMLY IF U BOTH LOVE AND TRUST EACH OTHER.

don't talk anything against hs mother. ignore her.. mil's r all like that. s

what i'm telling u is from my own experience dear. wait and sort out the things. don't be sad and depressed. BE BOLD AND BRAVE.this s ur life. take ur own decisions always think clearly. pray.

pray dear.
with lots f luv and prayers hema replied. Hi, I was really feeling bad about the situation you are right now.But it is ok.all the couples fight, and lots of unwanted speech comes out of mouth , knowingly or unknowningly.you have to forgive him for telling about physical relation,since you have to live with him peacefully.next time when he says it, you just calmly reply i married you b'coz i really loved you & that's why i gave you physically mentally 100% to you.and i accepted you as my husband before i took phere in front of fire.if you feel like this i am really sorry about this.See what will be his reaction?.And about brainwash by mother, it is very common problem with all mil's.you need to find a peacefull situation , time to talk about this to him.talk about why he is acting harsh on you?is there anything you need to improve?.is there anything bothering him about you? tell him we need to clear it out to live a happy life.but don't ever ever talk harsh to him & NO NEGATIVE ABOUT HIS MOM.talk very calmly.Simply keep his mother up.tell him i don't know why she is mad..i like her alot..she is a nice person etc..etc..see wheather it works.
About money issue, tell him you want to work for your family sake, not for your sake.tell him you want to save money for your baby.see how his reaction is.