Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

Hi everyone on this board
I just discovered this website 2 weeks back. I am sure that that some of you will read it and give me some strength to face the situation I am going through. I am 33 and I didn't even get chance to experience the proud feeling of pregnancy or motherhood.
We were married 4.5 years back. for the first two years we didn't try as we want to live together and he was agree for that but now we r trying from last 2.5 years and but nothing happened so far. I think we did every thing including IUI three times. But even IUI fails in my case for no reason. Everything is fine on my reports and doctor's says its unexplained pregnancy.
We became so helpless than all of sudden we met someone who said that there could be some Poja done so we decided to go 2 India for a week. I was told that I will be pregnant within 3-6 months of pooja. Also, There we came to know through "pooja" that I conceived 2 times but it was miscarriage (which we were not even aware of). Normally I dont believe in it but sisnce I have seen all these things during my visit to India, I started believing it. Now it's been almost three month after that "pooja" and I am still trying with no success. I am so depressed that I don't feel like doing anything. My life looks very meaningless 2 me. I also feel sorry for my husband as he is the only son of his parents and everyone is waiting desperately for that moment. Everyone in our family ( his as well as mine) got children and we have no such family history. I still feel that we will be blessed by a child one day (as that's all we can do now)I can't share my pain with anyone so I decided to b a part of this board. Even if no one reads it fine for me as I am feeling little better after writing it and typing it here.
Also, as it's getting late I am loosing faith in god but still hoping for the best. I never felt that much demoralized or depressed this way in my life b/c in other cases at least u can try but now I think a miracle can help me. Our life is totally changed. We don't talk much and discuss anything as we used to do a lot. I used to think before that so what if we can't have a baby we can still live a happy life but I was totally wrong.
I read lots of stories of losing child on this board and really feel that others are in worst situation than mine. I keep everyone in my prayers. So please hope and pray for us, you never know that when god will listen your prayer, especially if it's for other people. Does anyone knows about these kinds of things. It's like someone has cursed me . Also I was told that, kisse ki nazar lag gayee hai mujhe. I am so confused what to do. Doctor's can't help me. I live in US. Any reply/suggestions (meditations, prayers, fasting or worship which I am already doing a lot) would make me feel little better.
Simmi

Anupama replied. My heart broke when I read u r message. I know u r going through tough time of life but don't loose faith in God. Some day he will answer to our prayers and bless us with children.
I can understand how frustrating it is when u r ttc and u r periods comes but think that way also in order to get PG period is also necessary. Live that period in past and think about next time.
Don't loose hope. It is important to accomplish task. You are having unexplained infertility so always keep trying. I am sure some day u will be blessed with wonderful children.

I would like to suggest you to read a book.
Book Name Interpreter of Maladies
Author Name Jhumpa Lahiri
She won the Pulitzer Award for this book few years back. In this book u will find many small stories. For you just read first story (chapter1) and title name is "A Temporary Matter". This story will relive u r stress and helps to maintain relationship with u r husband. You are living in US so u can borrow it from your local city's Public Library.
With Love and Prayers,
Anupama
Latha replied. Dear Simti,

I didn't come online for couple of days so, I didn't see your message.
I am so sorry to hear what you are going thru now Honey. I can relate to that very much. I have to agree with Sunshine and lot of other friends too. Whatever you do PLEASE NEVER LOSE FAITH IN GOD. GOD IS THE ONE AND ONLY HOPE, not doctors. Please don't ever believe in evil spirts. God's power and love is much more mightier than anything else in the Universe. Smiti, God is our father. How can he ever allow his child (us)to suffer or be affected by evil spirit.

I know honey, it's very hard to believe in God or in anything now...I too had 2 miscarriages and we've been trying for more than 2 years now without any success. Even though I was a very bitter and depressed person during that time, I believe only God helped me get thru all the sufferings. God helped to find this site and meet wonderful girls who are always supportive. God blessed me with amazing parents, wonderful husband.

I would like to tell you a story Simti-
The only survivor of a shipwreck washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly
for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed working.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut all by himself out of driftwood to protect him from the sun, wind and cold and to store his few possessions.

But then one day after scavenging for food, he arrived to his home only to find his little hut in fire and the smoke rolling up to the sky.

The worst had happened; everything was lost.

He was stung with grief and anger. \";God, how could you do this to me! you ruined the only survival hope I had\"; he cried.

Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him!!!! \";How did you know I was here?\"; asked the weary man of his rescuers. They replied \";WE SAW YOUR SMOKE SIGNAL\";.

Just when things look bleakest,
hang in there a little while longer.
The next time your little hut is burning to the ground, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

Simti, don't loose hope. Please count the blessings God showered on you. I do that everyday. I make sure that I think of atleast 3 things I am grateful of. Anything in the world I am grateful of small as food or even spice which makes my food delicious or as big as my parents and husband. We are all here for to give you support...write to us whenver you want.

Lots of Love and Prayers,
Latha. asha replied. hi simti,

i feel the same way you have. we have been married 4 years now and have been trying for almost 3 with no luck. i have done many poojas and fastings and almost anything and everything people have asked me to...all with a glimmer of hope...but it is hard...we have been through 4 clomid cycles, 5 iui cycles and 4 ivf...i finally succeeded and got pregnant witht the last ivf, but miscarried at 6 weeks...it was the hardest time...all the hope and then it ended...but i continue to hope, because i know i am meant to be a mom and my husband craves to be a dad...it is an emotional roller coaster..but i am not willing to give up..all my friends are pregnant, even the ones that had problems..it is difficult to be around them, so we do what we feel is best for us emotionally...sorry this is so long, but we have to keep hope.. Suman replied. Hey believe it or not my story is same like yours.i am also suffering from unexplained infertility.i wish i had some problem, i could take medicine for that.imagine i never even got pregnent in 7.5 years of trying!!!..just take things out of your mind.give importance to career, same time try to conceive at best level.thats all we can do.if you want to chat with me let me know..goodluck my friend. Sunshine replied. i hate to say this to any woman, coz it means that she is facing what we are all facing, but welcome aboard. At least it's better than facing this all alone.
I read u'r post and my heart went out to you. Simmi, all I will tell u is trust God. Put all your faith in him, and your child, the one who is meant to be your little angel will find his/her way to you, either thru your own womb or through some other means, but will be in your lap soon. This is our prayer for you.
On this board you will find, lots of love, moral support, peace, encouragement, advice, and answers to any question u may have and each of us here is your friend, like u are ours.
And as a friend i can tell you, if u feel that someone has cursed u, which believe me never holds out if your faith is strong enough, just pray to God, in which ever form u worship HIM, He will come to you.
passing loads of baby dust to you.
With love,
Sunshine Anu replied. hi dear

i cldn't find words to console u...but i can understood ur feelings and situation.. so i will pray for u...but dear have trust in god..he will NEVER let us down..surly one fine day he will bless us with a baby..having HOPE will make u little bit realived.dont worry..everything will be alright soon....luv ..Anu innu replied. Dear friend..
Dont lose faith in god dear....hes there..hes just there & will definetely give u a baby,& u will indeed be able to experience motherhood soon....

Am married for 1.5 & on TTC...my S-I-L had to wait for 5 years to get a baby..they met a no.of drs but no one succeeeded..but later in another hospital they did the necessary steps...
she had lots of obstacles her way...
& now u know she is the motehr of 2.
U dont have to worry anyway...
& do write to us whenever u want to share ur feelings ok....
We all r praying for u..LOTS OF BABY DUST UR WAY........
With prayers Karishma replied. Hi Simmi,

Welcome aboard!!!

Pls. dont lose faith in God. He is testing each one of us. Keep praying. Miracles do happen and we at this board are all waiting to experience one such miracle in each ones life.

Pls. dont lose hope. You are definitely there in our prayers.

Feel free to drop in a line or two and vent out ur feelings.

Dont get upset abt. ur husband. He also is tensed, right, as to y he is not blessed. Dont worry things will definitely happen for your good.

Passing lots and lots of baby dust to you!!

Accept me as ur friend and feel free to write to me.

Luv,

Karishma
aaa replied. Dear Simiti
PL. pray lord ganesh...tell slokas for him daily ....and there are slokas for conception in many websites....pl. read them daily..
God will definitely help all of us and relieve us from all of our different troubles...he is the only person we can trust throughout life...yeah we lose faith in god when we are pushed to the extreme...but have hope and believe in him...and try sincerely...eat healthy foods and try sincerely..and pray...he will answer all of our prayers..
Take care and regards
aaa