Family  Discussion Forum

Married 5 years with no children. Immediately after marriage my husband' s brother joined to stay with us. I had no objection as i had thought it would be good for his career. But then later on i found that he had drinking problem, and my husband comes home very late. Since i come from a family where dint come across such things, i got worried and frightened. So asked my husband to let his brother stay somewhere or stay with parents. But he dint take it well. For around 2 years this went on, and last year my husband stopped coming home or came home very late i.e., around 3 to 4 am. I have doubt if my husband is having an affair, though now he comes home, but not intrested to even talk. We havn' t had any sort of marital relation in past 2 years and he says he does nt want kids ever. Even Finances from beginning there was no transparency. I have had many sleepless nights, am depressed and my career is also affecting bcoz of all this. Pls need help mangesh replied. hello sunita,
if your husband is taking it in the wrong way then proove that his brother has problem and that you dont feel safe about it, you have right to know what is wrong and have right to speak. vinod replied. hello sunita,
when such doubts has beedn raised it would be better you have to clarify other wise you will have all sleep less nights as you mentioned can your share what would you have done to solve. NN replied. See there is no use in being depressed about it and not doing anything. If your husband is taking it in the wrong way then prove that his brother has a problem and that you don't feel safe about it. Ashna replied. You should talk to him and explain what you actually meant that time and that is misunderstood you and nothing else. Tell him that this is not how things works and you have a right to know what is wrong and have a right to speak when needed to. Manah replied. Hello Sunita,
When such doubts has been raised it would be better you have to clarify other wise you will have all sleep less nights as you mentioned can you share what would you have done to solve your problem. xdf replied. Hello Sunitha Kumari,
It is the sad story you had because the problem leads to many problem and crisis also. But once you got doubt you need to clarify it once after clarifying you can take any decision but think twice before taking any decision. SallyWilliams replied. I' m sorry about what you had to go through with your husband. I hope everything has been resolved already. The best thing you can do about it is to try very hard to talk to him. Make him feel that you are willing to listen. We' re not sure about any affairs. It could be work-related. You may also want to try a marriage counselor. Prakash replied. Dear Sunita,
I can understand that your husband is not giving attention you need as a wife. Seems like there is something that is bothering your husband and you need to find out. There could be numerous reason for his weird behavior. I guess one of the way to find out, is to go out with him on a weekend, like sunday for a dinner or shopping or pick up his favorite place or food or something you guys and spend some time together as a couple, away from home and family. Talk to him in person in peace, without getting mad or upset, really patient. Tell him, that you need more time and attention from him. Hope he tells you something, which might be helpful to take future decisions.
Last and most important thing, do not force him to have a kid, that can bring additional stress in relationship. If he is not paying attention now, it will become the worst for you.
Goodluck!