Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

after the birth of my second child my relationswith my elder child have deteriorated.she has developed sibling rivalry and I keep losing my temper v. easily. This has affected her behaviour. She has become rude and aggressive. I need help to break the vicious cirle of anger and bad behaviour.please help Swati replied. It is very important that you keep focused on the older one! The most common mistakes made by parents is they forget the older child and believe the younger one needs more attention! Its not entirely true. Its the older one who has reached the stage in life where he/she is capable of showing emotions and needs the time and attention of the parents............Look at it from the child's point of view........the all important kid has suddenly been sidelined! Its not fair and as parents we don't even realise it........Finally I feel it necessary to mention that you must devote more time to your older child make a more conscious effort cos' the time for the younger one comes very naturally! Don't ever compare the two siblings and try n' make your older child responsible for the younger as in asking the older one her opinions and getting her more involved etc. And pls for heavens sake don't believe that the older sibling is going to hurt the younger one its not just fair. brighteyes replied. sibing rivalry is very common, especially initially. u should always give your elder daughter more attention - and dont ever ignore her when she's around. always pretend to be more interested in her. if u handle the situation properly u will see that your daughter feels less threatened. all the best! suhail replied. Hi vps,

Your child is feelingl left out and feels the need to behave badly to gain your attention. Don't let her feel left out and let her feel involved in the younger childs life. Give her responsibility and tell her that she needs to help mummy take care of the little one.