Relationships  Discussion Forum

I got married 2 years back and went foreign.hubby's elder brother used to live with us.from day one this guy behaved odd and it took me few months to realise that he is upto no good!He behaved like a gem in front of my hubby and when hubby is not around he tried to flirt.this was becoming real nasty and I had to tell my parents..i just did not have the guts to open this to my hubby since he almost worhsips his brother...my hubby is still mad with me because I decided to tell parents than him....that is one big mistake I made.
when I told my parents out of their concern they just came to my home took me,even without informing my hubby just brought me home to India!ours was kind of a love marriage(we were in love and then told the parents and both parents agreed half heartedly) and now they are all convinced I made a wrong choice.
They are asking my hubby to come back to India and live here if he wants to live with me.They have also told him off that he has to completely cut contacts with his elder brother...then my hubby had come down to take me back but since he refused to agree to come back to India my parents not convinced.he went back after a month.his parents came atleast 2 times to our home to let me go back to their son..
my husband did throw his brother out of his home and that person lives in another state, never spoke with hima single word I guess after this incidentbut still parents not convinced... now when things are like this..that elder brother had the guts to come to our home and talk to my parents about letting me live with my hubby..where can I go and tell this....he said 'he' deserves to be punished but not his younger brother...nobody could believe our eyes when he walked in our doors.He has come as a peacemaker between my husband and my parents..can you believe this..now he has made things even worser and everyday I am crying thinking if I will ever be able to go and live with my husband.
pleae pray for me.
sometimes I feel I need to be an adult and take decision about my life but my mom and dad say they have no one in their lives and they will die if something happens to me. Shanthi replied. Hi Girl,
I didn't understand what is your problem here??..your husband is totaly on your side, his family is requesting you to come back..so called mistake is happened..everyone knows about it..now go back to normal life..your bil is not in your life anymore..i don't understand what is your parents scared of??..i think they are making mole out of mountain?..it is your life dear..your husband must have refused to come to india, may be b'coz of financial aspects & life style..and i don't blame him for that..he can't listen to your parents for everything simply b'coz he married you right??..it is your life my dear..think..parents are not going to be with you forever..you need to talk to your parents about this..simply b'coz you know they love you to death , doesn't mean you have to listen to them everything..i think you should go back to your husband..if not what is your future plans?..living without a husband with patrents for rest of your life?..or finding a job and don't know where you going to go?.and ofcourse second marriage , you don't know you might end up getting worse than this.. Suma replied. Hi P,

I read your story few months back. I wonder you are still at your parents house.
I can understand your feeling, but as Saheli said you should arrange an alternative before going there... this will be just in case if anything happens in future....
So, make a right decision to join your husband... your hubby seems to be a good human being.

Make a right decision
Suma


saheli replied. Hi,

I first thought the same as silver. Sorry no harms meant here. But then, was wondering why would your parents be unwilling to send you back. You see there are so many cases happening all around where the woman has been harmed after going back.

I am sure your hubby is a good person but you just have to make this choice based on your perception. Make sure you wont be hurt if you go back. And if something happens, you should have alternatives arranged. Dont think I am trying to give you wrong ideas but its just so many incidents happening that you need to be careful.

If you are sure, then let your parents know of your decision and go back. Now your hubby knows about this situation so he would not put you back into trouble.

Grow up, be strong and realise it takes a stance to show you can handle it yourselves.

Good luck.
silver replied. Dear P,
I know u r depressed but even u know that u made a wrong choice. Probably if it was not wne t to ur parents, ur hubby wouldnt have believed or ur prob might have still persisiting. Probably that was for ur good. U r lucky that ur hubby didnt loose terms with u for ur parents interference.So, still u can change the situation.

Talk to ur parents clearly that ur hubby is good and u want to live with him. Tell them that u dont want to spoil ur life while missing ur hubby.
It seems ur parents are still being stubborn. Already that stupid BIL is in other state and somehow he has less contact with ur hubby.When u r there with ur hubby, he'll definitely be careful not to be with his brother again.
So tell ur parents to put u on track again while giving a chance to ur hubby and ask them to send u to ur hubby.

Now none can convince ur parents except u.If u r confident ur hubby is caring, then u have to convince them properly .
Tell them ,if again u feel any problem u would come to them. but ask them to send there again.

Dont break relation with ur hubby for some stupid who entered ur life.What all u needed is ur hubby to be caring enough.He is good enought that realised and left his brother.
Looks his brother is compicated and willinly spoiling his brothers life. That is the reason again he came ur home and played drama to make things worsen.

Btu,now he is none to ur hubby so u can trust ur hubby and n'joy ur rest of life.