Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello all,

I got married (3 yrs before ) and came to USA. After 1 month of our marriage my brother-in-law came to USA for MS and stayed with us for 1 yr.... that time I had to cook for him... also I gave him tiffin every morning! but my husband & his family doesn't consider this... they thought that this is my duity... after staying 1 yr with us he got job in other state and he moved there... me & my husband spent nice time 1 yr and now again he got job here.... and he is planning to stay with us :( I don't get privacy at all...... whenever I see him.. I get angry and all bad thoughts comes in mind !

What do i do to overcome this ? If i tell my husband... he will not say him a word... moreover we paid his MS fees, gave him car... still its not over...

I just don't want him to stay at our home! Any adivce ? Thanks !!! Help replied. Speak with your husband. Tell him what you think about this situation. Address your fears. If you are worried about something…tell him. If you think you bil will not contribute (as he is working now) tell your husband that this is not fair and you are worried about your( yours and his) future. Tell him what will he do once your bil is married? Be firm. He has to think about you and your wishes. Don’t worry what your in laws say. Try to tell him that you need privacy here. Don’t tell anything against your bil like he does this and he does this then he will think that you don’t like him and you don’t want him to be in the house. If it does not work out and he is adamant to let his brother in, then tell your husband to ask him to help you in your household work. Everybody has to cook together or help you. Don’t make it a habit to make tiffin for him everyday. What if you not feeling well? Like I do most of the cooking but I take my days off too. My husband cooks when I don’t feel like it or am tired. He makes tiffin for both of us. It has to be flexible. If he cannot cook then ask him to do the laundry and fold clothes and vaccum, do grocery etc. Assign duties. Say that you need help, its not going to be a one man show!!! Be sweet to him and say “Oh,,, I will need this and this to cook… can you get it for me??” Do it in front of your husband. He cannot say “No”. You have to make it clear to your husband that you need privacy. Cheer up dear, and try to handle this diplomatically.

All the Best!