Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi All,
I am married from last 1.5 years and from the day 1 there are issues about one thing or other. We have stayed seprately for 2 months also. He doesnt talk to my parents while he expects me to do all the duties of so called bahu. I dont trust him. At every point he tries to let me down. I am really not sure whether I love him or not. Till sometime back I used to think that I love him but now I am not sure. At every small argument he says, I want to seprate. Life is becoming hell for me. Even his parents has asked me several time about what I want to do about the relationship. I am feeling like they (including my husband) doesnt need me in their life. I feel like an unwanted,unappreciative person in my life. Now I have started loosing my personality. I get angry very easily. I am very confused. I just cant understand what should I do? Should I move out?
Please give me your advice, I am very depressed.

Thanks in Advance somebody replied. I think you should move out!
If alone if only the husband is like this then may be you can wait and see if he improves for better...but even the inlaws seem to be trouble....So in future even if the husband changes these people will create trouble and keep on trying to change the husband's mind as much and as long as possible!.
So I would say 'get out of this relationship before you get a baby..after a baby then your choices get limited...Like bhavana, the angel has adviced you will have to keep on trying and giving your best I guess?! and painfully bear every pain for your baby's sake!.But now your life is in your hands, give him an ulitmatum and take charge!
Get out of this messy family and rebuild your confidence and build your life!Goodluck bhavana replied. First and foremost every marriage has its share of adjustment problems.And most of these problems arise in the first 3 yrs of the marital life.
Both of you in your case also your husband needs to do an introspection as to what he wants out of this relationship.
The next time ask him for a change, what he wants to do about your relationship,ask him what he expects from you,after he stresses the need for you to be the more compromising ask him what is his role in this relation,tell him your needs and expectations from him,both of you should try and work this out without the intervention of any of your parents.Both of you need a break from your relatives and parents and need to go out on a vacation where in that privacy you get to discuss the issues that concern both of you.Tell him that your parents are important just like how his parents are important in his life for him and he has to accept that,tell him marriage needs to be between 2 people and for that both need to share the responsibility of working it out.
You need to have a heart to heart talk.Tell him that you want to work thing s out.
With all due respect to your problems sometimes we need to give everything in your life many chances,but in this case i mean a marriage sometimes we need to bend a little but not so much as to lose your self respect and your dignity.
Think before leaving this relationship.Sometimes when a person stresses the need to separate it is not meant,it might be his way of defense mechanism to actually see that you don't leave.Don't think he doesn't love you on the contrary he may also be afraid that you may leave him .
Stay so that at least you know you tried and what if he changes,wouldn't you feel that you should have given it that one last attempt.I just don't want you to feel guilty ,that, you didn't give it your all.
Sometimes you are tested in many ways and marriage is the BIGGEST TEST of all no jokes.SOmeday he may thank you for being in his life and not giving up on him.
Have faith above all,and finally do what your heart tells you to do not your mind.
All the best.May your problems get resolved as soon as possible and may you enjoy marital bliss.