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Womens Issues:Why this sudden jealousy?
2006-07-12
Name: Zoya



After I delivered my 2nd baby I was 70kgs. Even though it did not look too bad I knew I was out of shape. When I stopped breast feeding my baby after 1 year I was about 65 by then had mostly lost due to all the running around and a bit of careful dieting.

I joined the gym and hired a personal trainer to guide me to loose weight and use the equipment because I had never been to a gym in my life. After 6 months of vigourous training and a very strict diet I am now 55kgs. I look really good if I may say so myself and I feel so proud of my achievement. I recently got a hair cut and some high lights done just to feel different and up lift my self.

Now all of a sudden my husband has started making nasty comments that I am trying to impress guys at the gym and I want to behave like a 21 year old etc etc. Initially, I thought he was just teasing me and joking about it but now it has become an every day thing. I only go to the gym very early in the morning and most of the time there are only ladies there because men would be at work. I have tried to tell him that I am just happy that I am back in shape and I want to look good just like every other woman.

Some time his comments are very hurtful and I don't know why he is behaving like this?

Please advise me how I should talk to him because the way I am trying it not working.

Thanks.
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2006-07-13
#1
Anonymous Name: Zoya
Subject:  Hi



My older one is in school in the morning and my younger one stays with a nanny for an hour or hour and half when I go in the morning to gym. After that I am at home full time. My husband and I have an active social life and we are always together and go out only together. Infact, I am the only one is our group of friends who is not involved in like ladies afternoon groups etc.

Also, my husband is very good looking and in very good shape himself. He runs 5km every morning at 5am so it is not like he is feeling down coz he is out of shape.

Also, I have got my hair coloured and cut like after 3 years. That is why I find it so wierd that despite him knowing what I am like and we have been together for 10 years now, that he is saying these things.
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2006-07-18
#2
Anonymous Name: sal
Subject:  great going continue



Hi
I think you are doing great pls don't stop ,it is very neccessary that you love yourself enough.You know for your husband it may be difficult to understand your behaviour...like for so many years you have not cared about yourself and suddenly you have started doing so much for yourself...so i guess missunderstanding has crop up...What you need is clear communication between both of you...like If you would have communicated in past that you are not at all liking yourself with extra weight you put on while both pregnancy and you want to loose it as soon as you can....and describe him well how badly you wanted it.......I think he would have understood you........even now u can do wonders....just ignore his all reaction and stay cool spread happiness around you in ur home...in your kids...
and communicate to him looking good is so important for your selfesteem and loving your life I am sure he will understand

love life
sal
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2006-07-12
#3
Anonymous Name: Someone
Subject:  thoughts



how are you able to go to the gym early in the morning with 2 kids at home?...who manages the kids when you ar away..?..hubby?...
I think your husband feels that you are getting little over-involved or giving more attention to yourself/your looks and lesser interest towards him & family..may be?..every husband likes their wives to look good...no doubt about that!.But may be you need to slow down on your path towards achieving perfection...Your intention is good(to look better & feel better) but your ways of doing things might be wrong...you need to make your husband believe that 'looking good' is only second important to you when compared with family!...All the best
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2006-07-12
#4
Anonymous Name: sim
Subject:  hey!



good that u r back to normal.
Its no wrong in making urself goodlooking.But he might have felt somehow insecured because u r becoming nicer and caring urself well after 2 kids.
So,if u dont feel me as conservist , I would like to advise, for ur lovelife sake...Pl stop going gym for sometime.Many a times women think only frm their viewpoints and cant think outer side.
So just try to understand his insecre feelings and try to do exersises at home. now that u r back to ur shape, u can maintain it while stating home and exersising,so Try for it dear.

Dont unnecessarily think for femine rights and male dominisms...Practically, it's just not that easy to follow.ultimatelky we suffer from those concepts ending uo victims.
just simply try to be in his shell,though he s thinking narrowminded.It's not compromise.
I know he is wrong in saying and doutbting u and behaving narrow minded. But ,plz try to stay home and exersise.dont entertain future misunderstandings.

to do those exersises in home is my simple advise.Pl take care ,dear...I strongly feel simpler things shdnt lead to issues .
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2006-07-12
#5
Anonymous Name: kuntala
Subject:  Good



Congrats for losing weight ! You sure are making many people jealous. Could you give some tips for losing weight ? Don't stop going to the gym. Continue with what your doing. You can try encouraging your husband for going to the gym.
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