Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi

i am a 30 year old working woman and a mother of 5 year old son. My husband is 35 year old.
we both earn handful of money in Bangalore.
we bought an independent house & a car on loan 3 years back, we both are sharing the loan. In-fact i actually earn more than him, and takes care of
major portion of financial commitments. and my job is some what secured than his job. if he loses job there is less chance of getting new one with same salary as his job and his education doesn' t match and he is working in same company from beginning. where as i have already changed 6 companies and settled in a big one. so it is difficult for me to quit my job for my kids sake.well this is all about our current financial and career condition.

Lets move on to our back ground.
my husband has elder sister who' s married and both are employed in a govt organization,. and has 2 kids.his parents fully depending on him but they stay away from us in their hometown. we pay monthly for their expenses. and they don' t keep good relation with me as lots of fight happened
when my child was very small. since my son is 10 months old he grown up in a day care and we didn' t get their support in bringing up my son.and more over i don' t like them as they are fake people. they don' t have property or anything as such.
this is about his family background.
I have 1 elder sister and 1 elder brother and they are all well settled in our hometown same as my husband' s. my parents are very rich. they 50 acres of land and my father is an officer. my mother helped me a lot in bringing up my child. they do help financially also sometimes even-though we earn.
now moving on to our relationship, we are married almost 6 year' s now. no bonding between us.
for silly reason' s we fight we don' t talk months together and we don' t look at our faces also.
we are leaving together, that is it. no communication between us. what happens usually is we fight for very silly reason and we stop talking, he never makes any effort to console/convince me. he doesn' t really care for me. i do everything in the house even then our relation ship looks like it is dead. if we are good we will be happy when we stop talking we will enemies i feel. we both just talk to our son, he is an awesome child and understands a lot.
i can' t write about all my fights. but surely i can brief, if his parents says something we should do, last week his mother called him told that we both should go to his sister' s house, i said i don' t want to go,if he wants he can go. we stopped talking. he is not talking to me now. i work day and night end of the day i feel so depressed. now he is drunk sleeping...i am crying now.
so irresponsible. i am doing everything he don' t bother to talk to me. i don' t expect sex and all from him. being in the same house we are living like an unknown. i feel so bad.forget it :(.

now why i came to this forum is i need help from all of you in taking a decision.
i love my son unconditionally, he is only source for my life. end of the day how much ever i am depressed, if i see my kids face
i will forget everything. his smile is enough. his touch is enough for me in this world.
my husband also loves him and takes care of him nicely.

the biggest challenge for me is that i am getting an onsite opportunity. till now i haven' t traveled. its a lifetime opportunity.
i have so many questions running in my mind. i can' t live without my son. if i go my husband would be very happy i feel as we
don' t have emotional attachment.
what will happen to our relation
i am having lots of confusion in my mind whether to go or reject the offer.


please please help.
krupa replied. hello hathu,
in Indian tradition, women always do compromises for her family and kids, and there you choose your career and your son, so what your heart says, listen this and then only take any decision. kajal replied. hello hathu,
you had posted this post long time back, so what you had taken decision, can you share here, so all users can read this, and when you post here lengthy question, so give your response on that also. kirti replied. hello hathu,
i know my response is too late for your post, but i read your story, and i feel proud on you, that you love your family and son as well as you respect your family. its really very good thinking of you. renuka replied. hello hithu,
i this you should not leave this opportunity, if you get this opportunity you should grab it, and dont think much, when your son will grow up you will have enough money to support his wishes. jigna replied. hello hathu,
its good thing that you take care of your mother in law and father in law, its your duty and responsibility, so dont join this duties here, its good things and they also know. hardik replied. hello mother,
its good to see that, this type strong women are behave in that way, so make yourself strong and respectful in front of others, its good thing for life. rupesh replied. hello mother,
what your mind says listen that first, if your mind says you should stay with hhim and live life happily then you should do that only, be with your family, family is everything. rekha replied. hello mother,
as per my view, you take your life decision, and get seperate from him take divorce from him, and live your life happily with you son, if he was not give respect you then only. reshma replied. hello mother,
life is name of ups and down, the happy and sad moments called life, but you know how to come up from your problems so keep some patience and make happy yourself. deepti replied. hello mother.
see as per your relation is not working and your husband is not as responsible as he should be but then if you are getting an opportunity to move ahead in professional. purvi replied. hello mother,
you are so strong lady, and really you didnt have any type ego also, even you earn more than your husband then also, you are not showing any type disrespect to your family and husband. girija replied. hello hithu,
such type relationship doesnt working long time, as per my view you should take divorce from him, and live your individual life with your son, and allow him to meet son whenever he want to meet. kohli replied. hello hithu,
you face lots of problem in your family life, you mentioned you are more stable than your husband, so may be this issue your husband not ready to digest, and thats why he try to fight with you. jigar replied. hello hithu,
your relationship you tell us, its continue just because of your son, there is no meaning in your husband and wife relationship, if you get opportunity to move ahead in your life, so you should grab this opportunity. jivika replied. hello hithu,
working women face lots of problems related her personal life, as well as related family life, so its on women who is handle problem so she should be smart and independent also practical too. latika replied. hello hichu,
you are so strong lady, you should take care of your son, as well as take care of your things also, you are so much respective lady, and keep it like this way only. kashik replied. hello hichu,
why you get afraid in case of your son, mother and kid relationship is so special for women rather than husband and wife relationship, and thats why you are with your husband till now. kimya replied. hello mother,
you are really so strong women and also so much understanding lady, who is able to handle all the things very neetely so really i dont know you, but i respect you so much. ranjana replied. hello hichu,
its life, and without hurdles life didnt have any meaning, but you are strong women and you will face all the situation very nicely and calmely so there is no worry at all. kamal replied. hello hichu,
its really very tough condition for you, here you have support from your family but you didnt get support from your husband family so its really very bad situation you face.