Relationships  Discussion Forum

I once again state you too have not read my comments properly.

Clearly I have hit one of your nerves.

The probs that you are talking about ,I too have faced that ,so I don't understand what you are talking about,if you feel that you are not doing anything wrong go ahead and do it ,I also very clearly have written that if someone does not want a girl child its best to abort the baby so why are you complaining.

What I want to imply is also that you are not the only one or your friends who suffer from in-law probs,so did your mother ,your grandmother,my mother and all the ladies that I know, and I have given ample proof of the people I know.

You cannot expect people to change,they are always going to remain like that,you have to make the changes for yourself.

I am sitting at home,my in-laws first wanted me to work ,when I got one they said that it was not a status kind of a job and I should quit,i did that and today inspite of doing a professional degree I am sittin at home.

But I also fought back,my own relatives make fun of me and my parents, that they helped me get a B.E degree and see what happened,but I don't care for their comments,on the contrary I retaliate.

Only you can help yourself,don't expect your hubby or anybody to do it for you.

Similarly my friends also faced similar problems,but they have overcome that and still fight ,but they stand up for themselves and so do I.

So don't tell me stuff that I don't know or have not faced.

My hubby and his folks respect me for the fact that I stood up for myself when I had enough.They talk to me with lots of care and respect,i am talking about my in-laws only and not my hubby.

You have no idea how I have fought for myself.

If you want a son ,i already told that there's nothing wrong about it,but always blaming it on your in-laws is escapism.

If you want your situation to change ,only you can do it I can't.

More so if you feel that you don't want the baby its your wish.

What I expressed is my opinion ,rest its its your life.

I have a right to express my opinion about it.

No the situation in India will not change not as long as you don't do anything about it.Everybody is responsible for that.B'coz everybody wants somebody else to do somethin about it.

But with strong minded women the least you can do is try to stand up for your daughter so she learns it from you that she is wanted and how important it is to be a girl,and she does the same for her daughter.

Unless you didn't feel that you are doing something wrong you wouldn't have replied to me.

Most importantly you are pregnant now ,from your womb she is going to feel what you feel so take it easy.

More so you have got ample support from other people so why are you craving for my support.

I state again I am ashamed of the fact that Indian women always feel that they are helpeless and can't do anythin about their situation and always want somebody else's support to do the needful.

I live in U.S I have lots of american friends (girls) who have same in-law issues and they also feel that its imp for girls to take matters into their own hands instead of waiting for their husbands to do it.

In-laws worldwide are like that.Don't think you are the only one facing life's burden.

See the very fact that you ignored my problem of not being able to have kids is ok with you,why thats how people are and I can't do a thing about it,you say your problem is big,imagine mine when I have not been able to concieve my first child yet the kind of taunts I get to hear from my in-laws.Cruel and horrifying one's.

So today you feel that having a girl child is a problem for you,acc to me I know the pain of not having any child.

You want to abort go ahead and do it Iam not stopping you,I am no one to stop you.But don't expect me to be sympathetic about it.

Imagine even now in this board I being a woman am not getting support for what I clearly feel and even you feel(in your heart) is wrong .

I am not against abortion,its the reason for aborting that I am against.

Anybody who aborts for the right reasons I support fully. hello ! replied. Hi ladies

Looks like we had a heated discussion on this boy/girl thingy.Im not here to pass any judgement on abortion and all that,its all upto the individual and his/her family.The one thing that irked me most was getting paranoid about the second child after the first one was girl ,but happy pregnancy once the first one was boy.Anyways,I dont want to talk about it again.BTW,Im married too ,stay here in the U.S and waiting to get pregnant.But,it was good to see that we had a nice and healthy discussion and not a nasty and immature argument ,much unlike in some other forums that I post in.Good luck to you all. priya replied. Hi ,
I read ur all posts .

Ok Pavitra,Fighting and achieving our rights is our ultimate art of living u say right?! I could c it how u fight aginst what u dislike


But everybody differs in thoughts.I cant fight anyone and its not my nature .I'm not suffering with those many pronlems even and presently they r somehow good with me and dont want to break that relation while thinking 'bout unborn 2nd child.OK?! Because they r parents of my hubby too.
After all we know how to love our unborn babies regardless of genders,then how can we break some other parents relation with their SON?!
Because I'm not even pregnant and that was only my wish to have one son to make my in laws and hubby happy. ok?!

When u said u r right ,YES..I'm too right in expecting 2genders.One girl for loving us throughout our life(So we had it) .Now I want one son which might satisfy my inlaws.
Hi hello, I'm not hypocratic to blame on them while I was wishing for son. Yes I want to make them happy too.After getting 2 girls no one can avoid us from loving and loving them.
After all 2nd is not yet born and wishing for circle-preffered is no wrong ok?!

Yes ,I Supported Sneha only in her wish for a boy.But she never mentioned she wants to abort if its a girl and I didnt expect her doing so! She never do it even.
If she is really unable to fight throughout her future for herself and for daughters she might wish for doing it, we r none to question her because its her life and we r none to scold her though we have right to comment.Because after all we r educated and know about individuality and humanity very very much .


Ok ,Pavitra, All I can tell is... IF everyone starts fighting over their inlaws and hubbies for everything...there r no bonds left in this world. If inlaws r troubling , we have some oter options to avoid to some extent. but y shd be getting ready to fight all the time?
I dont know what the problems u had and what made u to fight with them .So I'm not sayiin u bad.But all r not similar and we dont have to influence them to fight with his parents for unborn babies. Yes ,Babies deserve to be loved and only while pregnancy any one can think of other option.But after getting child we love them like anything.Its for sure.

I didnt even have 2 girls yet and y shd OI start preparing for fighting eith them ?!Afetr having them ,definitely we love them but before to that y shdn't we think of something which might avoid all fights and dissatisfactions!?!

Pavitra,I never meant to hurt u.But I accept we should maintain selfrespect and individuality but it shoulnt lead unnecessary loss of terms.

U r right in what u did ur inlaws but everybody cant do it dear! So they might mould themselves acccording to them.But anyway I liked some of ur ideaS.

Pavithra replied. One more thing b4 you split hairs once again,I was in that same Indian sand for a very long time,its only a yr b4 that we came here in U.S.

this I want to clear b4 you say that you live in U.S what will you know about it.