Family  Discussion Forum

Hi, first i want to appologize for my incorrect english, please do read and suggest. I got married 1.5 years ago, will give a slightly a brief background about my marriage and the problem which ' m facing now. I' m a family oriented person. I want always people around me whether be in office or @ home, but I do like sitting alone sometimes meaning min of 2 hrs a day. I was working abroad and got this proposal. I was looking for a girl who will gel with all family members and relatives. At the time of first meeting itself I asked her is ok if I opt to live with my parents after marriage she accepted and said this is why I love you cos u r much carrying your family. I have another issue in my family meaning my sister' s was a love marriage, during my initial conversation I told her that I was suppose to be a bachelor social worker (which was true), since my sister has got love marriage I want to give atleast some peace to my parents because of which only I have opted for a marriage (but i dont think I can survie like a bachelor.... that i came to know once I got married). Then our family mutually agreed and got married 2 years ago and blessed with baby boy now he is 8 months old. All went well when I was working in abroad till she got deliver her mom and mom was coming and taking care of her. As discussed with my wife earlier I opted for native town transfer (this time not only for my parents it is also a part of my financial planning to avoid paying rent which is waste of money when you have own house and at the same time I have booked another house as well. so thought living together will help to save some money to pay the EMI). My life has got a complete U turn from then, the day when I said my transfer got approved that is it.... she started yelling, crying, quarrelling saying that she cannot live with elder people, she want to live alone she cannot adjust etc.... but I tried convenincing her saying we can easily adjust to the setup. but she never stopped and I also cannot roll back because i have accepted the offer. now it is almost 3 months (+1.5 months the time taken to shift) not even a single day she slept without crying or yelling for one or the other reason, sometimes I try to consoul her but at time I loose my patience as I have enough work pressure as well. Now I cannot to move out of my own house which will create a very bad impact in my parents and at the same time I' m not able leave her crying or to tolerate my wife' s complaint. Here I just want to inform that I' m not saying there is no mis understanding happen between my parents and with my wife (which we cannot avoid because in a even if we stay alone/together with friends we will have situation where in we will have some sor of misunderstanding or do some activity which will irritate others). I was keep on telling her it will take some time to her adjust with the situation and the same is applicable for my parents as well. Whenever I get chance ' m talking to my parents on which they can avoid talking or doing infront of wife saying which may have a negative impact. But day by day it is increasing and she is saying she would have done something if she is not having the baby. Please friends please suggest me something how to react to this situation... really ' m not able to handle this cos in office we are having hell lot of pressure when ' m bac min of 3-4hrs ' m listening only complaints and endup in quarrel. Not able to sleep.... which is already reduced to 4-5 hrs. Or please suggest me whether me and my wife has to go for any counselling if so please suggest me any good counsellor in chennai(prfbly malayali....cos wife cannot speak tamil fluently like me cos I have settledown in chennai more than 3 generation) jonssmith2 replied. what type of help do u need?
i m try to solve your problem.
tell me something about your problem.
suites orlando UK replied. i read ur post and feel that almost all husbands face the same issue. being a women i will say it in my point of view. it is better that you move out as per your wife. Sometimes it is not easy to adjust to elders. it is better to be friendly being apart than to be cold within the house. Your wife stays at home fullday and their would be soo many situations she can not adjust. She feels she should be free and enjoy her only life. even i had the same situation. we were living with my in laws and i felt i dont have any freedom in the house. so now i spoke to my husband about this and he agreed to move out and now we are enjoying a pleasant life. we visit our inlaws once in a week and no onee has any hard feeling.