Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

Dear Archi,
I am reading this board since long time but I never ask u about any thing but I think ur the one who can help me I am ttc from last 6 years I had my miscarriage in 1998. I had twice IVF once IUI but so far no luck me and my husband's all reports are normal and in this month I am going to be 36 years old and my husband is 7 years older than me. My husband once he starts drinking he drinks a lot and he smokes too. And I am on synthroid 125mcg but he don't want to do any thing and he want me to do everything he don't want to see Dr. long time ago my primary Dr. put him on metoformin 1000mg but he stop taking. and my MIL put in his mind I don't want baby it's not true I never get chance to convince him she told him I am eating lemon juice and ACHAR that's why I am not going to conceive and because of my MIL all the time I am so stressed she always give wrong picture about me to my husband. My MIL's problem is she don't want me to do any thing with out her permission even if I am hunger I can not eat if she is hungry only at that time I can eat if u went to bathroom instead of 2or3 time 4or 5 time she had a problem . and u never know when and why she will create a drama .Please advice.
Thanks
Gold
archie replied. Dear Gold,
Unfortunately failure of your ttc is very valid to me. You seem to go through a lot and not to mention none of the things going around is going to help you get pregnant easily.
Lets go by factors:
The age: you are 36 is already a little late but not impossible. I know many gets pregnant in their 40s without any treatment, that's because they are leading very happy life and no stress from any sources.

Spouse: I could go on stating things but they are futile as none of it will help to your process. Your husband is 43 and its not in his 20s or early 30s in itself mean he may not be as great with fertility as he would have been in his 20s or early 30s. I do not mean he is less good with sexual activities, I only am referring it to his fertility. Besides he is his own enemy. Unless he stops smoking and drinking and follow healthy life style at least 6 months to 1 year he is less likely to help boost his fertility. Both of these habits are known to reduce fertility drastically in both men and women, especially in men. I would not be surprised to note that if he is going to see a medical professional (urologist/reproductive endocrinologist) he would find low sperm count or at least less of them are motile if he bear a normal sperm count. I think unless he take some step towards quitting and getting clean from his habits and see a Dr. he is going to make it difficult to help getting you pregnant.

Diet: In some aspect I am with your MIL that eating Pickles and lemons might have been cause of failure. I am not fully with her as I also note that your husband is bearing all bad habits and he is less likely to carry a normal sperm count. Such men if they carry normal sperm count then it's usually biased and are rich with X chromosomes. On the other hand eating Pickles and lemon or anything that's acidic will make vaginal environment acidic and sperms usually do not like acidic conditions. They are alkaline or neutral pH favored cells. Just to keep your MIL shut her mouth you can try to give up on both pickles and lemons and see whether that would get you pregnant. I believe still it would be difficult as he would continue with bad life style- I am combining with his age.

MIL: You seem to have got hurt and continue to get hurt with your MIL's behaviour. Unfortunately this is creating a lot of depression and stress on you, which in turn is affecting your hormonal balance and failing each effort towards getting you pregnant.

I am not an expert on relation but seem like you have a lot of issues with this marriage and only baby will make you see a ray of hope to lead in future. I am also sure that by now you have got used to this inconvenient lifestyle and that you are living it each day.

Please do not loose hope and try to convince your husband to see a Urologist to get treatment. I am really upset to note that he stopped medicine.

While visiting a Dr. let your MIL assist you so that she knows the real problem behind failure and may learn a lesson to treat you like she would to her own Daughter.

Sympathetically.
Archie Parul replied. Hi

Dear u r having stress as ur nt able to conceive and an added stress because of ur MIL. U need to respond to ur MIL diplomatically. U have to become a bit clever... remeber whatever causes u stress, (anything ) is affecting ur chances of being pregnent!
Take care
Parul