Dear Friends,
Please read with patience....ur remarks may help this poor soul.
I have been married for 4 yrs now and have a beautiful daughter. Since day one of my marriage it was clear that my hubby was a complete mumma's boy, but I kept hoping that I will make some place in his heart someday. The first year of marriage was horrible...he hardly ever had time for me, never had a ear for what I was going through living in a joint family...always ready to give to others what should have been mine. I kept trying to befriend his family and kept trying n trying to please him day after day. Then discussing n later fighting why he doesn't even have 10 minutes in a whole 24 hrs day for me. But nothing changed. After a year and a daughter he was transferred and we went with him. I hoped there I might be able to make some place in his heart. BUT no..he was always busy in office (well that part is true)...when home he will keep on telling me about his life, what was happening, what he was thinking, but never bothered to ask how my day was. For whole three years I kept trying to get his love and a little understanding. Making his favourite dishes, dressing up the way he wants me to, behaving the way he wants me to, trying to please him. But nothing changed. Now we r back to the same old same old joint family. I have gulped every insult, every injustice poured on to me... for the sake of my husband n my daughter. Not that we never fought. I did complain to him but usually its him who wins either by saying something very hurtful or if tht does not work then by physically abusing me. Ones he twisted my index finger so badly that months have gone but I still cannot use it without pain. Later on he said that I was waiving it to him during fight which he did not like, so he twisted it. Then again during a fight he slapped me so bad that my one eye couldnt open up for a week, n later said he slapped me because I slapped him ( which is totally untrue) N my mother in law knew that he beat me up n she said to the maid that good I got beaten up because I argue too much. Now the condition is that lately if nothing works he will use words like \";Bhootani\";, \";Moti\"; or anything to hurt me. I may not be strickingly pretty but I m good looking n not fat that much I know. In all other ways his family is ok so long as u dont try to go against their wishes. But now he does not show any kind of attention or affection to me. Most of the times he is chatting with his mom on anything n everything, while I m sitting there quietly, whether its while having tea, or dinner. If I m sitting in another room (which hardly happens since I m busy in housework most of the times) he will never bother to come n sit with me or talk with me. There has never been even a single simple affectionate hug even for I dont even know since when. (I did try to explain to me a lot of times that I m ur wife, u should give me some attention some affection at least sometimes, but to no avail). But when it comes to finding fault with me it will not take him a second to point it out. U did this U said that, it happened because of u ( everything wrong that happens, happens because of me only ).
After years of trying to make my place in his heart after years of pleasing n pleasing Now I give up. Its no use. Now all my life I have to live with a man who is my lifepartner just socially. I cannot go back to my family as even they dont support me much. My mother says she has been relieved of her responsibilities n does not want any now, and my brother doesnt even like my going to my maternal home. (my hubby knows that n even says \";tujhe vahan koi rakhega to tu jayegi naa). I m completly fed up with life n am living only till the day my child becomes old enough to take care of himself. Hope that day comes soon, then I hope god takes me aways from here...sometimes I feel like running away but I cannt I have a child who depends on me. Now all I am living is a life of a mother to my child, a servant in family and a good for nothing woman who is just an uncomfortable attachment to a man who wants to live solely to serve his mom.....what luck
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Dear Friends,
Please read with patience....ur remarks may help this poor soul.
I have been married for 4 yrs now and have a beautiful daughter. Since day one of my marriage it was clear that my hubby was a complete mumma's boy, but I kept hoping that I will make some place in his heart someday. The first year of marriage was horrible...he hardly ever had time for me, never had a ear for what I was going through living in a joint family...always ready to give to others what should have been mine. I kept trying to befriend his family and kept trying n trying to please him day after day. Then discussing n later fighting why he doesn't even have 10 minutes in a whole 24 hrs day for me. But nothing changed. After a year and a daughter he was transferred and we went with him. I hoped there I might be able to make some place in his heart. BUT no..he was always busy in office (well that part is true)...when home he will keep on telling me about his life, what was happening, what he was thinking, but never bothered to ask how my day was. For whole three years I kept trying to get his love and a little understanding. Making his favourite dishes, dressing up the way he wants me to, behaving the way he wants me to, trying to please him. But nothing changed. Now we r back to the same old same old joint family. I have gulped every insult, every injustice poured on to me... for the sake of my husband n my daughter. Not that we never fought. I did complain to him but usually its him who wins either by saying something very hurtful or if tht does not work then by physically abusing me. Ones he twisted my index finger so badly that months have gone but I still cannot use it without pain. Later on he said that I was waiving it to him during fight which he did not like, so he twisted it. Then again during a fight he slapped me so bad that my one eye couldnt open up for a week, n later said he slapped me because I slapped him ( which is totally untrue) N my mother in law knew that he beat me up n she said to the maid that good I got beaten up because I argue too much. Now the condition is that lately if nothing works he will use words like \";Bhootani\";, \";Moti\"; or anything to hurt me. I may not be strickingly pretty but I m good looking n not fat that much I know. In all other ways his family is ok so long as u dont try to go against their wishes. But now he does not show any kind of attention or affection to me. Most of the times he is chatting with his mom on anything n everything, while I m sitting there quietly, whether its while having tea, or dinner. If I m sitting in another room (which hardly happens since I m busy in housework most of the times) he will never bother to come n sit with me or talk with me. There has never been even a single simple affectionate hug even for I dont even know since when. (I did try to explain to me a lot of times that I m ur wife, u should give me some attention some affection at least sometimes, but to no avail). But when it comes to finding fault with me it will not take him a second to point it out. U did this U said that, it happened because of u ( everything wrong that happens, happens because of me only ).
After years of trying to make my place in his heart after years of pleasing n pleasing Now I give up. Its no use. Now all my life I have to live with a man who is my lifepartner just socially. I cannot go back to my family as even they dont support me much. My mother says she has been relieved of her responsibilities n does not want any now, and my brother doesnt even like my going to my maternal home. (my hubby knows that n even says \";tujhe vahan koi rakhega to tu jayegi naa). I m completly fed up with life n am living only till the day my child becomes old enough to take care of himself. Hope that day comes soon, then I hope god takes me aways from here...sometimes I feel like running away but I cannt I have a child who depends on me. Now all I am living is a life of a mother to my child, a servant in family and a good for nothing woman who is just an uncomfortable attachment to a man who wants to live solely to serve his mom.....what luck
Defeated replied. Dear Friends,
I didn't know that there are so many angels out there, who will read n find some precious time out to ponder over MY problems. It really feels good for a change that someone has time for my problem n heartaches. (even my own mom doesn't have time, not intentionally but she is in such a job that its 24 hrs mess with her, if I try to talk to her or meet her most of the times despite all her good intentions shes busy, well one has to work if one has to eat).
****THANK YOU FRIENDS****
To tell you the latest incidentally I have joined my old office 20 days back, after taking a sabbatical for three yrs (for my baby). Its a very busy place n most of the times when I reach home I m dead tired. But I try to spend as much time as I can with my daughter, plus take care of the housework. But for now she is more involved with her dad than me, I will try my level best to change that as per your advice dear Saheli. Dear sss, dias,su, satya,an and ami thank you so much for ur advice n concern. Your words have given me a whole new backbone. But I will come back to you for some strength if I need it.
And no, for now sadly I cannot leave that home because I have no where to go, no support and no way they will give me my daughter. But yes I can start a new life as u said at the same place itself. Yes my selfesteem has taken a 180 degree plunge after marriage thats true. I will try to improve. Ones again friends god bless you for your kind words. God bless you.
sss replied. Iam sorry for u dear seriuosly.
I feel this happens with indian women because they r dependent.If u will c in foreign countries women are more independent and men also dont ill treat them(most cases of happy marriages).
Tell me one thimg u have a son,would u like to bring up ur son in such an atmosphere will of mental and physical abuse.
I dont know in which city u r in india.THere r plenty of jobs.WHY dont u take up a job.
Jo abhi ho raha hai ,kaise bhi hota hai,take up a job and c.There will be an immense change in ur confidence.
They may resist but u also fight back.U have too.U have a right to live.
C how things change.IF u still feel worse go out of house taking ur son.They will come behind u.BE Strong dear.
But before doing this keep few friends informed about evrything going on so that they will support u and stand for u in every walk
Best of luck.
dias replied. I know u cant follow our friends advise to leave him and consult women's cell...
This is serious problem but done tloose hopes.Someday these kinda men turn into henpecked hubbies.I saw many of that kind exaples,dear!
Yes , believe me..If u cant leave him and live seperately..Just live in that family for ur baby's sake and as Sy said,just be urself and pretend to not to care him that much. Live for baby and get only attached to ur baby than him.Dont expect him to change...He is not going to change in near future...
But some day he has to change at least for ur child's love.But except in ur old age ,he can not understand ur value as a wife.So if u can wait,just wait for it till it happens.Then pl remember me telling u this ...!
ok, dear! now all u can do is..ignoring him as much u can.
Know what my close uncle was like this when he was in young age.He used to beat my aunt and she suffered alot that secretely she made suicide attempts...Now u cant believe ,He is turned to be hen -pecked and we r surprised to c him that obediant to her.He could deny any help fro other family members and took own way with wife and kids...Have one more kid,U'll have weight.and can be busy in kids care and then he has to follow u atleast for kids.
saheli replied. Hi there,
U need to read the book, 'Who moved my cheese'. Girl, ur cheese has moved so why do u keep looking for it in the same place over and over again and then cry who moved it.
I think its high time for u to realize that ur happiness is not with ur husband. U need to look for it somewhere else. Why do u bother with whether he gives u love or not. In any case even if he starts loving you will the things be the same again from your side?
Look for what u have instead of for what u don't have. Things will look up.
I know I can't suggest divorce to you considering that ur mom does'nt support u and ur husband very well knows that. I am assuming u don't work either.
So first thing. Become shameless and diplomatic. Never take anything that anyone says as an insult. If ur husband tries to hurt u, laugh at his face and or change the topic to something pleasant. Don't let those things bother u. Keep a calm and a pleasant demeanor.
Fulfill your duties for the moment. I can't suggest u to revolt suddenly. Give them revolt in doses. They will be angry but then they will get used to it.
Ideally if ur daughter goes to school, take up a job. Maybe in her school. Whatever job u can. If its volutary work, still take it saying this way u r able to watch her during the day.
Involve more and more in ur child's activities. Keep ur self busy in that. Join her in some dance or swimming etc. Something by which u can step out of the house. U will make friends there and it will make u feel happy.
I am not saying don't complete the house hold chores. Do them but somethings just talk big and not do anything.
For instance, if there is something to be done in the kitchen but u would rather spend time with ur daughter then announce loudly to ur husband or ur mil, that ur busy with her and would be back in few minutes to complete the task. Tell very pleasantly that u will take care of the work later. And take ur time then to come back.
Whatever u feel like doing, just cue everybody in that.
If u want to go out for dinner, suggest to everyone how about lets go out and eat. Try to go out of the house as much, be it with ur inlaws or without. They won't bother u when u r out coz u can ignore them.
That was my strategy. I royally ignored my mil when we went somewhere but now she knows so she doesn't like to come with us.
Read books, surf internet, take a course if u can. Take any course. Be it baking or anything. Just to feel good about ur self. Ur self esteem seems to be very low.
Remember, why do u wish to die for such worthless people. Its not worth it. I use to feel that way too but then one day I thought, why should i think about giving up my life for them. Why not live for my kids. Now I live for my kids. I have a boy and a girl and I just live for them. I go out with them and have lots of fun with them.
For an indian woman, her kids are one way to freedom for her. They make her stronger. I think if u don't mind have another one. They are ur defense against the world. My kids defend me like anything and my husband's family tries so hard to break the bond. But we 3 share a special bonding that is the talk of their family. I worked so hard for it. It is almost like I am doing puja with my whole heart. That's how I am raising my kids.
U do just that. Then these people will never bother u. Don't fight with husband. U go out and enjoy with ur daughter. Believe me when he will see u guys enjoying, he will dump his mom and come running behind u.
Men feel that their wife should just enjoy with them whereas they should enjoy anywhere and with everybody.
Show them that u r much happier with out them around.
Don't care. With such people behave in a crazy manner. Sometimes spontaneous speaking is good. People are scared.
I will give u an example:
Whenver my husband and I eat dinner, my mil, and all the 3 sil's use to stand around us and keep feeding my husband. It was so annoying. 4 people surrounding u while u eat. They feel that they should sit and feed their brother. One day my sil and my mil were standing on both sides of my husband and serving him left and right. It was so annoying to have somebody on ur head. I just cracked a joke that a king is eating and attendants are serving him. I cracked a joke and laughed so loud. My husband was so angry and so was his mom and sis. They moved away and sat on the couch and till date whenever we eat no one comes near us now.
So sometimes whatever comes to u r mind say it as a joke. People will think ur crazy and will be careful.
But never ever feel insulted by what they say or do. When u believe in something u will do it. Get a strength in ur mind. If ur mind is strong then u won't care. Don't pity ur self.
Look for happiness within.
Read, join a course or work. Do something. Just totally get involved in ur child's upbringing.
But please physical abuse is a big no no.
U can call police next time. But anything u do do it calmly. These people will hate ur calm.
Good luck
Keep us posted of how u r doing!!
Take up this challenge coz this is the deal u got so just deal with it!!!!
su replied. I really feel sorry for you. I don't know why indian men get married, when they don't realize the value of a wife? May be in the beginning all they want is somebody who can do all the household work. Why don't they realize their parents can be with them only for certain time and only wife comes all along their life?
In your case even your mother is not supporting you. Even now, not many indian mothers want their daughter to get separated from their husbands. Atleast she can give you emotional support. Can't you go and stay in your mothers home for sometime. You just say that you are not feeling well, or give some excuses like that. Go and stay with your mother for atleast half a month. Don't listen to your brothers words. Sure your mil will get to do household works which she will not like to do. In this way you also prove to your husband that you can be happy without his support. You also make friends and spend time with them. Like he is ignoring you, you also ignore him. But don't be rude. Just make it appear like you want to enjoy life in this way.
Ignore your mil's comments. Unfortunately some of us don't have that blessing to have loving mil. I know it becomes more difficult when you are living with them. The more you show your sadness for their comments and behavior, the more will they hurt you. If you show them that you are not bothered about their comments or your husband's neglection, they will get scared of your will power and may tone down.
Now you start to enjoy life without breaking the marriage. Wait and see for any positive change. Then you go for the next step. Good luck to you. Don't think of ending your life. When mean people can hurt others and lead a happy life, a good person has the right for a better life than them. Be your own support, have fun in your own way and don't bother about anybody's comments. You do works that are necessary for you and your baby. Whenever you feel tired take rest. If house is not clean or some job is not done let it be. Since you are not complaining about them, you are just taking rest and you are also not reacting to their complaints, they cannot do much to you. You take care of yourself. Good luck to you.
Satya replied. Its time to move on.your husband knows that you are never gonna leave him,he knows the fact that even your parents are never going to support you,he knows you are not working and so cannot have the confidence to step out of your house,he knows he can remove his frustration whenever he wants and you will never leave him.
Is this what you want your daughter to grow up with.
Statistics prove that 75% of the daughters in an abusive relationship always end up choosing a husband like their father and get trapped.Your daughter deserves better life,you deserve a life of happiness.
Believe me its tough to get out of the house b'coz of low self esteem and the fear of uncertainity that looms over your head.Fear of society,fear of humiliation,fear of isolation,BUT the fact remains that what better situation are you in now.
Get a job first or as Ami says ask help from a women's welfare center.
And then you might see a change in ur hubby,if you have some amount in your account already get out ,you can very easily get a job in a call center.
Both of you deserve much BETTER.DON'T EVER REMAIN IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.
An replied. Dear Friend,
I am so sorry to hear anout your situation. I have no answers or solution, but I guess what Ami wrote makes sense. When a person gets physically abused, no matter what the reason, its time to realise that no matter what one does, things will get only worse. The husband might regret and show extra ordinary affection post abuse, but the next time he gets angry the same is bound to happen. Think of your daughter growing up in such an atmosphere ? How is your daughter treated by her father and grandparents ?
Think through everyhting and start standing up for yourself.
All the best
Ami replied. hi
the time has come for you to give your self confidence a boost.
Its time you took responsibility of yourself and your child. if things are that bad, why continue like this?
Try to contact a womens' welfare agency in your city. They can assist you to move out, get some vocational education and take up a job, in order to look after yourself and your kid.
Time has come to get control of your life. Plan everything carefully and start life afresh.
All the best.
Ami
2006-05-31
#1
Name: Defeated Subject: Thank you all u angels out there
Dear Friends,
I didn't know that there are so many angels out there, who will read n find some precious time out to ponder over MY problems. It really feels good for a change that someone has time for my problem n heartaches. (even my own mom doesn't have time, not intentionally but she is in such a job that its 24 hrs mess with her, if I try to talk to her or meet her most of the times despite all her good intentions shes busy, well one has to work if one has to eat).
****THANK YOU FRIENDS****
To tell you the latest incidentally I have joined my old office 20 days back, after taking a sabbatical for three yrs (for my baby). Its a very busy place n most of the times when I reach home I m dead tired. But I try to spend as much time as I can with my daughter, plus take care of the housework. But for now she is more involved with her dad than me, I will try my level best to change that as per your advice dear Saheli. Dear sss, dias,su, satya,an and ami thank you so much for ur advice n concern. Your words have given me a whole new backbone. But I will come back to you for some strength if I need it.
And no, for now sadly I cannot leave that home because I have no where to go, no support and no way they will give me my daughter. But yes I can start a new life as u said at the same place itself. Yes my selfesteem has taken a 180 degree plunge after marriage thats true. I will try to improve. Ones again friends god bless you for your kind words. God bless you.
2006-05-30
#2
Name: sss Subject: get out of there
Iam sorry for u dear seriuosly.
I feel this happens with indian women because they r dependent.If u will c in foreign countries women are more independent and men also dont ill treat them(most cases of happy marriages).
Tell me one thimg u have a son,would u like to bring up ur son in such an atmosphere will of mental and physical abuse.
I dont know in which city u r in india.THere r plenty of jobs.WHY dont u take up a job.
Jo abhi ho raha hai ,kaise bhi hota hai,take up a job and c.There will be an immense change in ur confidence.
They may resist but u also fight back.U have too.U have a right to live.
C how things change.IF u still feel worse go out of house taking ur son.They will come behind u.BE Strong dear.
But before doing this keep few friends informed about evrything going on so that they will support u and stand for u in every walk
Best of luck.
2006-05-30
#3
Name: dias Subject: I know dear.
I know u cant follow our friends advise to leave him and consult women's cell...
This is serious problem but done tloose hopes.Someday these kinda men turn into henpecked hubbies.I saw many of that kind exaples,dear!
Yes , believe me..If u cant leave him and live seperately..Just live in that family for ur baby's sake and as Sy said,just be urself and pretend to not to care him that much. Live for baby and get only attached to ur baby than him.Dont expect him to change...He is not going to change in near future...
But some day he has to change at least for ur child's love.But except in ur old age ,he can not understand ur value as a wife.So if u can wait,just wait for it till it happens.Then pl remember me telling u this ...!
ok, dear! now all u can do is..ignoring him as much u can.
Know what my close uncle was like this when he was in young age.He used to beat my aunt and she suffered alot that secretely she made suicide attempts...Now u cant believe ,He is turned to be hen -pecked and we r surprised to c him that obediant to her.He could deny any help fro other family members and took own way with wife and kids...Have one more kid,U'll have weight.and can be busy in kids care and then he has to follow u atleast for kids.
2006-05-30
#4
Name: saheli Subject: rise and shine
Hi there,
U need to read the book, 'Who moved my cheese'. Girl, ur cheese has moved so why do u keep looking for it in the same place over and over again and then cry who moved it.
I think its high time for u to realize that ur happiness is not with ur husband. U need to look for it somewhere else. Why do u bother with whether he gives u love or not. In any case even if he starts loving you will the things be the same again from your side?
Look for what u have instead of for what u don't have. Things will look up.
I know I can't suggest divorce to you considering that ur mom does'nt support u and ur husband very well knows that. I am assuming u don't work either.
So first thing. Become shameless and diplomatic. Never take anything that anyone says as an insult. If ur husband tries to hurt u, laugh at his face and or change the topic to something pleasant. Don't let those things bother u. Keep a calm and a pleasant demeanor.
Fulfill your duties for the moment. I can't suggest u to revolt suddenly. Give them revolt in doses. They will be angry but then they will get used to it.
Ideally if ur daughter goes to school, take up a job. Maybe in her school. Whatever job u can. If its volutary work, still take it saying this way u r able to watch her during the day.
Involve more and more in ur child's activities. Keep ur self busy in that. Join her in some dance or swimming etc. Something by which u can step out of the house. U will make friends there and it will make u feel happy.
I am not saying don't complete the house hold chores. Do them but somethings just talk big and not do anything.
For instance, if there is something to be done in the kitchen but u would rather spend time with ur daughter then announce loudly to ur husband or ur mil, that ur busy with her and would be back in few minutes to complete the task. Tell very pleasantly that u will take care of the work later. And take ur time then to come back.
Whatever u feel like doing, just cue everybody in that.
If u want to go out for dinner, suggest to everyone how about lets go out and eat. Try to go out of the house as much, be it with ur inlaws or without. They won't bother u when u r out coz u can ignore them.
That was my strategy. I royally ignored my mil when we went somewhere but now she knows so she doesn't like to come with us.
Read books, surf internet, take a course if u can. Take any course. Be it baking or anything. Just to feel good about ur self. Ur self esteem seems to be very low.
Remember, why do u wish to die for such worthless people. Its not worth it. I use to feel that way too but then one day I thought, why should i think about giving up my life for them. Why not live for my kids. Now I live for my kids. I have a boy and a girl and I just live for them. I go out with them and have lots of fun with them.
For an indian woman, her kids are one way to freedom for her. They make her stronger. I think if u don't mind have another one. They are ur defense against the world. My kids defend me like anything and my husband's family tries so hard to break the bond. But we 3 share a special bonding that is the talk of their family. I worked so hard for it. It is almost like I am doing puja with my whole heart. That's how I am raising my kids.
U do just that. Then these people will never bother u. Don't fight with husband. U go out and enjoy with ur daughter. Believe me when he will see u guys enjoying, he will dump his mom and come running behind u.
Men feel that their wife should just enjoy with them whereas they should enjoy anywhere and with everybody.
Show them that u r much happier with out them around.
Don't care. With such people behave in a crazy manner. Sometimes spontaneous speaking is good. People are scared.
I will give u an example:
Whenver my husband and I eat dinner, my mil, and all the 3 sil's use to stand around us and keep feeding my husband. It was so annoying. 4 people surrounding u while u eat. They feel that they should sit and feed their brother. One day my sil and my mil were standing on both sides of my husband and serving him left and right. It was so annoying to have somebody on ur head. I just cracked a joke that a king is eating and attendants are serving him. I cracked a joke and laughed so loud. My husband was so angry and so was his mom and sis. They moved away and sat on the couch and till date whenever we eat no one comes near us now.
So sometimes whatever comes to u r mind say it as a joke. People will think ur crazy and will be careful.
But never ever feel insulted by what they say or do. When u believe in something u will do it. Get a strength in ur mind. If ur mind is strong then u won't care. Don't pity ur self.
Look for happiness within.
Read, join a course or work. Do something. Just totally get involved in ur child's upbringing.
But please physical abuse is a big no no.
U can call police next time. But anything u do do it calmly. These people will hate ur calm.
Good luck
Keep us posted of how u r doing!!
Take up this challenge coz this is the deal u got so just deal with it!!!!
2006-05-30
#5
Name: su Subject: be your own support, ignore hurtful comments
I really feel sorry for you. I don't know why indian men get married, when they don't realize the value of a wife? May be in the beginning all they want is somebody who can do all the household work. Why don't they realize their parents can be with them only for certain time and only wife comes all along their life?
In your case even your mother is not supporting you. Even now, not many indian mothers want their daughter to get separated from their husbands. Atleast she can give you emotional support. Can't you go and stay in your mothers home for sometime. You just say that you are not feeling well, or give some excuses like that. Go and stay with your mother for atleast half a month. Don't listen to your brothers words. Sure your mil will get to do household works which she will not like to do. In this way you also prove to your husband that you can be happy without his support. You also make friends and spend time with them. Like he is ignoring you, you also ignore him. But don't be rude. Just make it appear like you want to enjoy life in this way.
Ignore your mil's comments. Unfortunately some of us don't have that blessing to have loving mil. I know it becomes more difficult when you are living with them. The more you show your sadness for their comments and behavior, the more will they hurt you. If you show them that you are not bothered about their comments or your husband's neglection, they will get scared of your will power and may tone down.
Now you start to enjoy life without breaking the marriage. Wait and see for any positive change. Then you go for the next step. Good luck to you. Don't think of ending your life. When mean people can hurt others and lead a happy life, a good person has the right for a better life than them. Be your own support, have fun in your own way and don't bother about anybody's comments. You do works that are necessary for you and your baby. Whenever you feel tired take rest. If house is not clean or some job is not done let it be. Since you are not complaining about them, you are just taking rest and you are also not reacting to their complaints, they cannot do much to you. You take care of yourself. Good luck to you.
2006-05-29
#6
Name: Satya Subject: Hi!!!!!!!!!!
Its time to move on.your husband knows that you are never gonna leave him,he knows the fact that even your parents are never going to support you,he knows you are not working and so cannot have the confidence to step out of your house,he knows he can remove his frustration whenever he wants and you will never leave him.
Is this what you want your daughter to grow up with.
Statistics prove that 75% of the daughters in an abusive relationship always end up choosing a husband like their father and get trapped.Your daughter deserves better life,you deserve a life of happiness.
Believe me its tough to get out of the house b'coz of low self esteem and the fear of uncertainity that looms over your head.Fear of society,fear of humiliation,fear of isolation,BUT the fact remains that what better situation are you in now.
Get a job first or as Ami says ask help from a women's welfare center.
And then you might see a change in ur hubby,if you have some amount in your account already get out ,you can very easily get a job in a call center.
Both of you deserve much BETTER.DON'T EVER REMAIN IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.
2006-05-29
#7
Name: An Subject: Sorry
Dear Friend,
I am so sorry to hear anout your situation. I have no answers or solution, but I guess what Ami wrote makes sense. When a person gets physically abused, no matter what the reason, its time to realise that no matter what one does, things will get only worse. The husband might regret and show extra ordinary affection post abuse, but the next time he gets angry the same is bound to happen. Think of your daughter growing up in such an atmosphere ? How is your daughter treated by her father and grandparents ?
Think through everyhting and start standing up for yourself.
All the best
2006-05-29
#8
Name: Ami Subject: Stand up for yourself
hi
the time has come for you to give your self confidence a boost.
Its time you took responsibility of yourself and your child. if things are that bad, why continue like this?
Try to contact a womens' welfare agency in your city. They can assist you to move out, get some vocational education and take up a job, in order to look after yourself and your kid.
Time has come to get control of your life. Plan everything carefully and start life afresh.
All the best.
Ami
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& Answers to Topic : I give up, life is a useless thing
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All tips on Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic : I give up, life is a useless thing
Subscribe to this conversation!
All tips on Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic : I give up, life is a useless thing
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RE:RE:female or male sex capsules or some other assesori
Thank you all u angels out there
get out of there
rise and shine
Sorry
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