Hi Friends,

Once again these days i am missing my mom a lot,though my PIL are with me,but somehow no one can take my Mom's place,the way she wud have pampered me and taken care of me.These days am getting v frustated as missing my dad,brothers,bhabhi and ofcourse mom,i really wish i wud have been with them.Also these days so much of discomfort(severe heartburn,swelling feet,difficult to sleep etc etc) geeting very imaptient for the day to hold my little one in my arm.
Well just wanted to share my feelings with all of u as i feel that u all can understand me better.
Hope am not complaining too much.U know thts why yesterday i wanted to know who all are the lucky one to be with their mom nd dad at this special moment.
Pls suggest me wht shud i do :(

Take care,
Uma
Ritu from nov. board replied. Hi Uma,

I can understand how u feel. Pls try to make the most of the situation. I know PIL's are just not the same as parents. But you will be happiest if you tell ur mom in law what u want her to do for u. I have seen that we mostly sulk and don't openly tell our mil's what we want as we feel it will burden us with too much of ahsaan. I think ur mil will also be happiest that way as she will feel involved and wanted. Try to define the jobs that u would want your PIL's to do and maybe some of them thru ur husband. I have seen in-laws love to please their son esp. if u show to them that u don't want them to do what their son wants.. i have my mom here but still i tell her what i want because i realised after staying independently for so many years we really have trouble accepting other person's ideas.. and most importantly take no stress, be happy with what u have..think of people who have no one with them at all because of VISA rejection or other reasons..

Physical discomforts are a part of preganancy but they won't be there with you for long and will go away soon..so pls be brave..Believe me you will be happiest at this time by involving your in-laws in ur life as that is the only way u wil not be getting irritated at some of their actions and will be able to tell them what you feel.. I have seen friends who had their in-laws visit them during their pregnancy and the situation really turned ugly mainly after the birth of their child so pls take care..

Just be selfish, be happy and ask politely for what u want and ofcourse keep talking to ur mom..and cheer up..hope i haven't confused you..have I..

take care and all the best..
Ritu Suni replied. Hi Uma,

Try calling your parents often that will surely help and use webcam to talk to them over the net...until this week I called my parents almost every day during this pregnancy, or they called me...this way I almost stayed connected with them continously. I hope you can use one of these two...though the best option for the future will be that as soon as your inlaws leave, arrange for your parents to visit you; so just having something to look forward to will not make you so sad.....I hope we can do something to help, and if you think of anything do let us know and I am sure I will be glad to help you feel better any way I can. Wanting our parents around this most special time is a natural feeling, so when you feel down, let the emotions run through, but try to let them pass and then put your hand on your tummy and talk to the baby, write a journal of all what you go through in a day, and send it to your parents after the delivery; they will treasure your thoughts....

Take Care
Suni nidhi replied. HI,Radhika
You r such a nice & sweet person.i saw ur message every day.
Nidhi

Anu replied. Hi Uma,

Don't be sad. I can understand your feelings. But your parents blessings will always be there with you. So, Don't feel bad. As Radhika and Nick mentioned, you can do so many other things that can keep you occupied. This way time can fly and you can see your bundle of joy in your hands. Just few more weeks. Keep smiling and get ready to welcome your baby :)

Take care,
Anu.
Nick replied. Hi Uma
Don't worry or feel sad.I can understand how you feel.But Atleast feel happy that your inlaws are here.And we are all so fortunate to having loving husbands and caring families.Just think of those single moms who have to face pregnancy and life alone or other women who give birth to babies alone and also raise them alone.
Whenever I feel sad I always try to think of people who are in a sadder position than me and I feel if they can go through life without even having what I have ,then I can also do it.
So cheer up.A few days more and the joys of new motherhood shall fill ur life that u will forget everything rest.
Hope I am not lecturing you,just didn't like to see you sad.
So be happy and take care.
And be happy thats very essential now!


Radhika replied. I am so sorry..its the bed rest thats getting to u. I too never sit at home idle, becoz u tend to worry and think a lot so i always keep working more at home. Its a natural feeling uma, let it come and go. I had a person who helped me with my loss of ma and he would say feel it, cry but don't linger on..and u will feel better. it did help me, controlling then was difficult..
Call up ur dad/brothers when u feel down..u will feel better. if u need to chat/write do feel free to write to me or i can call u at times (if i can cheer u up)..just send ur contact num by mail to my email id radhikap@hotmail.
Try to play some board games with inlaws if u can or with friends. If u can visit ur neighbours/friends, do so..
or play computer games..am trying to think what i would do in ur circumstance. guess i would rent movies and watch/write letters to all my friends in india. :)
I know create a website for ur baby..or get a book and journal like u talking to ur baby, all u feel, expectations, just like letters from mom-child esp. when we are emotionally on a high.
or u can make a scrap book arrange all photographs of u and ur hubby's life to date and keep as memory book,get some stencils and do fabric painting which is easy. just quoting things i did when i was bored out of my mind when i sat at home.
Basically keep urself engaged in some sitting work. its still difficult at times and that void will always be there..will be better with the love u will have for ur baby as life goes on..time does heal.
parents are always with us in spirit and in our thoughts even if not physically here, think of the good times u had with them instead of their loss...will make u smile.
Take care, uma. I hope u cheer up. jsut a few more days, hang on there with a smile.
Radhika