Relationships  Discussion Forum

I'm really crying and not deciding am I worth to live anymore?

I'm a neglected wife and my husband is not at all understanding
He is crazy for his parents and his sister tht he always scold me for them.
He never behave like a husband and declared they r his highest priority for always.and not to expect any support anytime.What ever they do is right forever.They always try to impose bad 'bout me and my parents and when I try to tell him truth he just becomes anger and says u r cunning nd u talk sweet to thenm but u have all mean feelings 'bout them...
They brought0 me up0 and they r reason for what I'm now,...so they r top priority forever.
But I am feweling sad y me got married to me..I was great devotee of god. but y did god give me this strannge life to me...
He is sound in his family and we r here in USA but they always r particular for not to stick to wife anytime and for that ,For gathering sympothy...they always be cautious and in my absense all the lies they tell 'bout m family and me...
U dont know..I'm not greedy or mean but only I need is ordinary life any woman lives ...Even my SIL and MIL r living that good life. their hsbands r bound to them and never think more than them,,,but y my life is like that...Morning somehow I got burst and expressed my agony for buying them expensive things where as they being rich never ever spend a rupee on us. HE burst out like I'm the meanest who is trying to drag him from them and want to spoil that family.

But I ever been sweet to them no matter how they fill his ears but he is saying all they tell is 100% correct .

Burt I'm verysensitive from childhood and am not expecting to live this life anymore.But I have a baby and I cant leave her and die .What shd I do...
Until his parents topic comes he is good and loving to me...But anyday if it comes he becomes totallyy crazy...And today he declared that it never happens that he'll support me anyday. and they r the ultimate ones. Also, after getting my baby married to someone,he'll leave me and go his way . Because he doesnt like me and for baby's sake he s living wth me. And he want to spend his all life with those who broght up him.

But the question is y me had cursed with this peculiar person.Afterall I believed in god and wanted a great hubby. I prayed many a times to make him litle understanding to whayt I request...But all I wanted to buy anything only for me without adding them...HOw much ever expensive it is he buys for all . When I said buy something only for me or don buy even for me.. Because when his father buy anything he buy only for his wife and daughter and nothing for me...I never expected from them even. But a m I wrong to feel to get atleast onehng for me and only me? When they r so particular to not to buy me,after all I asked him topo buy them too but not the same day he buy me??!! Am I wrong?! no I'm not.I know what I meant to expect....Y doent he understand properly? Is anything wrong in conveying him? y he is understanding me that I'm expecting hi to be hen-pecked and he is declaring it never happens?!!

Plz tell me should I live or not?! Because I'm not able to live without being important to atleast my hubby?! Pl tell me anyproblem in me while conveying...Is this thing happened to anyone of u or ur friends????? Preeti replied. Hi,

Today is the first day that I came on this website. Reading what is happening to you I have tears in my eyes. You seem like a very nice person.
You believe in god? He sees everything. He knows you're suffering. God also knows you are a strong woman. He gave you a daughter...you know why? One day when she grows up, shes going to remember how much you have scarificed for her. Please dont ever leave her... she needs you. If you take your life...you will miss sharing her life with you. Your parents love you dont punish them because someone can't see how nice you are....one day his parents will realize that you are a good wife and mother. I almost lost my mom when I was young....I can't imagine my life without her. I will pray for you always. Swathi replied. Hey, dont think you are unimportant to anybody. Look at your daughter - I am sure you are everything to her and I am sure she is putting you on a pedestal and looking upto you. I understand that your family (your Mom and her mil and sil ) is getting along great like an ideal family which is actually very uncommon and probably you expect everything to be like that ideal family. But I dont think your husbands family is like that. I am sure your mil did not have a good relationship with her nil and sil which is very typical. Dont feel bad that your husband is not getting you any gifts - you are working and set aside some money from your pay check - go for some direct depposit to your account and then tranfer probably 3/4th of your pay check into the common family account.

To please your husband, try this - try to buy some small gifts for your mil and sil with your 1/4 th of the money you keep. That will really cool him off. Slowly win his heart by doing some pleasing things like this and that will win his trust. Dont give too much importance to what your husband is doing/thinking, your mil doing, your sil thinking, give importance to your daughter, to yourself (do some course to enhance your career), call a couple of your girl friends home and have a party. GO out a lot with your husband - whether it is just a trip to a nearby park or to a differnet city for 3 days for sight seeing. Develop a good relationship with him and that will win the trust.

Above all, do not loose heart dear !!!! dying wife replied. Hi Friend ,Thanks for ur soothing words..I'm working woman and these days not caring anything.But as that day I had a biggg fight with him...I burst out like anything...I'm really glad to know someone is there suffered same ...

Hi grow up,Seems u r male and I really need ur suggestions to make my home sweethome.I really want to mingle with my in-laws and dreaming ideal family.
As a male, u must have known reason behind his partiality and blind going towards parents...
My problem is not buying gifts but want to know why my hubby blames me for every clash caused by them... though I was not at all involved in...
mY HUBBY is not kinda guy who doesnt play poltics...All he do is politics against me...He listens to all complaints they tell... and thinks me as someone who entered to seperate him.of course he feels all DILs are alike .And parents r always good regardless what they did to his grandparents.his parents really ill-treat his grandma but he thinks it's true his grandma is not nice...But coming to my case, still his parents r good and me not understanding them well..
Ok grow up,SOme how I know y u said so..But what is the guy's intension when he is not at all try to listen what wife says(EVen I'm true) ...And listens to parents evn if they tell all false statements which r just only just assumptions! Pl tell me grow up...I really need to know...what guyz think of wives ? DO u do the same >??? A Friend replied. Hi Freind,
While reading your story, i thought i am reading mine. My husband is exactly llike ur husband and i am also bearing hhim for the sake of our child. Threfore I can understand ur position very well.
Believe me , there r many women like u.
Dear, I know how painfull it is when ur husband behaves like this and even after 5 yrs of marriage says that parents are his top priority.
I went through all this and still going through this.
Based on my experience, i can tell u these type of indian husbands are never going to change, they are stonehearted.
I know ur intensions towards ur in-laws are not bad, all u want is support and love from them. But they(in-laws) are insecure about their importance still.
Believe me dear, i can feel why the thought of dying came to ur mind bcoz at one stage i had also thought the same.
Ok now listen,
First of all , Stop Crying... for u and for ur Kid. Make ur kid strong
Second, Start working or if not possible divert ur mind to something else.eg.(Try to play with ur kid, involve in her activities, try to enhance her qualities etc.)
I am sure this will give u immense pleasure.
Thirdly, Don't discuss ur in-laws at all with ur husband, no matter whether they r scolding u or what?
And especially when he is buying something for them, let him handle it.
Just ignore them as an unwanted item in ur life. Don't try to please them or to hurt them, assume they r not existing in this world for u.

Forth, Don't expect anything from ur husband, presently what u r expecting is love, care and affection and there's nothing wrong in that BUT in cases like this one has to be STRONG, Control ur emotions.
Ur tears, begging for love is normal routine for ur hubby. These things won't Affect HIM. So stop this slowly. Every morning take a resolution not to cry.

Don't ever think of suicide bcoz u have responsibility towards ur kid, use ur life for her betterment.

This is testing time dear might be bcoz of our sins in previous life. But continue praying, one day god will listen to u.

Share ur daily mood swings with ur reliable freinds.

if u want and need a friend u can write to me at cheer_up_palsatyahoodotcom.
I'll be glad if could provide u some relief.

Best Wishes
Ur Supporter and Friend,



dying wife replied. I expect hi to be good with them and loving...All IO want is...to fulfil his responsibiliteis first before spending...And after all after fulfilling all his responsibilties they never buy anything for me and MIL and SIL have every thing what I lack..When I ask that lacking thing...he buys for all same...still I dont want him to not to buy...But atleast onething only onething to buy only for me for that day and next day the can buy the same quaniity.Am I expecting toomuch?After all I want someone who thinks of me and only me atleast for one day.but there he gets anger ..how can u expect me to be stick to u...I give same priority to all...my SIL is married and with 2 kids, never feels she has her own family but expect her brother as same family .Know what, we r married for 5years and in these five years my FIL bought many many expensive sareees for my SIL and mil but not even one dress for my hubby even when we r blessed with baby and did function in india.
Pl dont misunderstand me like I'm trying to drag him to me.I always think of ideal family and I never questione him for what his parents bought or did...and always been sweet.