Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi,

i would like to know from ladies... what kind of adjustments/ changes did u make in yourselves to work out your marriage.. like ... your hubbys behaviour, his relationship with your parents, your inlaws, financial matters... as i m having a very hard time with many of the above matters.. hhh replied. thanks dias dias replied. Hi dear sss,
Thanks for accepting what I said.
Dont make decisions to take ur own path ,dear! If u stay there leaving him ,it might increase the distance btwn u and him...
Stay here and make him yours.for below q's answer yes or No .
Is he quarreling wth you for minor issues or neglecting u willingly?
Is he not playing at all with baby? doesnt he take you out or spend time togetther?
Whether he makes every issue bigg and abuse u verbally?
for any of above q's if you say 'NO' ...then there is possibility u can make him urs!
compromising is not at all killing our self-respect dear! Even if u live in india while he is here...That is also bigg compromise for U 'n ur baby...that ur baby might miss fathers presence and love and where as u might repent someday for leaving him in USA for ur career sake..

If everything is fine with u and him and if u both r understnding ,then its not a deal leaving and staying in different countries because it might increase their love...But in ur case,he is already not that understanding and leaving him here might increase the differences and makes him irresponsible to ur baby.

So stay here some more days and try to mould urself according to him...give him ur love and express it ...involve him him in baby's routine like playing and everything....finally he'll be moulded to fit u !

So dear,I can tell u something
Compromise only for first 5 years or more .but later u'll be getting good results in loving them and acceppting them what they r now.

hope U'll rethink on ur plan to go india such long time sss replied. hey diya,
u r absolutely right
same has been hapenning with me.
our is a lov marriage.our parents dont meet.i am a mother of one.

from the day i got married i have been compromising everything.my parents hopes everything
my husband like he bent to do anything for his parents.

i dont see any interest of him for our family(me,my husband and for my dot).he is not so keen in doing anything for my daughter.

now he is sending me to india for 6 months to spend time with both families.of course we came to agreement that i will stay half/half days.

he never thinks about me,my career.

i was not there with him in my pregnancy also.

YA sometimes i think i will go to india take up a job and manage my own things.let him be here.

can u pl advise on this.
dias replied. Oh Dear!! The simple answer is compromising everywhere where it works out And fighting for the rights when it's needed ! By following this ,I could achieve something!
So If u can explain ur situation we can tell u our experiences of that kind.

But ,Being optimistic is best idea.Controling our minds from thinking toomuch is another option.
Here r generic things going on...

1.Hubby's relation with girl's Parents :- In this generation ,Guys r somehow becoming different and not treating their inlaws(Wife's parents) Properly.Just they go say hi say hello.
I've seen many friends feeling bad for their hubby not getting closer to inlaws .

2.Hubby's relation with his parents :- Hmm,What to say ?!They r just becoming sensitive and sensitive to build ideal family! Becoming blind towards one side and showing bias on only one side.Unlike past generation,They r not being frank to parents rather requesting wife to adjust to those old couple.

3.Financial Matters :- Though many women never accept truth that it's happening in her family...In most of families now a days ,girls r wishing to spend lavish where as hubby prefers planning for future. So hubby sometimes avoids wives from buying spcific things...In some families...Men takes this charge of spending unthoughtful...So,Understanding his future plans and co operating is good option.



Last but not least is hubby's behaviour problems...Every humanbeing is different.And no 2 r exactly similar in thoughts...So 2 persons brought up in 2 remote families r getting together with this narriage bond.HOw can we expect both of their behaviour to be same.After all, we dont meet exaxtly with our sibblings in way of behaving!

So dear hhh! To conclude