Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have posted earlier here about my arrogant sil, supported by my timid mil and my husband. My fil supports me but his health is too bad now and he is not physically well anymore. I thought my bil (sil's husband is a nice person till now) but yesterday i came to know about his real nature and now i understand why my sil is arrogant.
My sil helped my husband during his university days financially. So she takes complete control over him. In the intial years of marriage she found fault with me for everything and reported my husband. He hit me and abused me with words. He even told my siblings that i am bad. They were angry at him for treating me like this.
My sil iltreated my brothers (and their wives) so much. She found fault in each of their visit and told my husband. I was made question my brothers everytime. They stopped visiting her or calling her. Ever since my sil has been complaining about my brothers to my husband every time she talks to him.
Now my husband is quite bored with her complaints and have stopped abusing me.
After a long time my mother is visiting my brother. For formality sake my brother took my mother to her house. Everything was fine in their view. After their visit my sil is complaining my brother didn't talk to her properly in that visit and disrespected her. She again asked my husband to warn my brother. He refused to do. So she asked me directly to question my brother about his behavior. My mother and my brother says there were very respectful to her and her complaint is false. I told this to my sil. She is saying they are lying and to top it all my bil supports what she saying is correct.

My husband is bound by his gratitude towards his sister. My brothers and sister also have done a lot for my education and for my marriage, finacially, emotionally and physically, as i don't have a father. I have more gratitude for my siblings. In the first year of my marriage i was not allowed to even talk to them over phone. Now i can, but i was not allowed to visit them. Even now as per my sil's order my husband should not talk to them or visit them. He follows that strictly. She says if i have to lead a good life, the girls side, that is my brothers and sister should behave respectfully to her.
I feel nobody is there in my in-laws side to save me. But whatever happens to me i don't want my siblings to be abused by her anymore. I don't want them to call her or visit her. I want to give her some punishment. But i know i will also be affected by this, because i can never visit my brothers or sister.
Girls please console me and pray for me. I cannot come under my old name.
Hey replied. Hi,
Don't worry.It looks like your SIL is slowly cutting herself off of a lot of options in her life.
The latest incident of your brother taking your mom to her house and she accusing them of insulting..all this is her loss.Not anybody else's!
Now will your brother ever take his mom there even for formality.She is slowly isolatign herself from all the relatives.Very soon she will isolate from your husband too.Mark these words.
What you should be doign is work for it.
Don't let go of this incident and remember in your mind that none of your relatives visit her.It's ok face your husband, get hit by him or let hi mshout at you whatever but be very strong in this.
Even though you dont say it out you keep it in mind.You will win.
Forget about what has happend in your past.I know it is very much unbelievable to digest that you cannot do anything about your past.But what to do..if you keep thinking of how much you were tortured and insulted then there is no end to it. you can keep on reliving your memories..but why do you want to waste your life doing that.
All kinds of siblings and inlaws etc., are all up to a certain limit.
Try to think about how to bring your hubby to get in tune with you.In short try to find ways to better your husband and make him follow you.
Goodluck.