Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi all,
Tell me whether any one is in similar boat.

Actually,By seeing me, anyone says that I'm beautiful. I am a sincere girl and I love my hubby alot.
But since our marriage ,my hubby never was much interested in me,He doesn't have history of failures in love,or so...But He always used to prefer spending time with parents than me.Of course I too learnt spending with them.

it's been 3yrs I got married,He knows I'm perfectwife for him and he shows his love and he's been wonderful dad for our baby.Everything is fine.

The only thing thats make me feel bad is...he doesnt have attraction towards me.
He never cares how I look .
He never praised my b'ty or traits . But not that I'm boasting but every friend of mine says that I'm soo b'tiful and I was collegeb'ty in college days too!

Y can't my hubby say a single word.He and His total family got spell bound in first look and he told his family he'll not marry anyone else (My SIL told it).
But now y he feel EGO to say that ,how he was impressed ,and how much he love me...etc...I love to hear thate love me from his mouth.But he never ever utter it!

But,Everytime I find him looks good,I tell him that he is nice in this shirt or he is handsome in that dress....

It makes me feel LOW ?! Am I xpecting too much ...plz tell me?!!!

Y it happens? I never say in front of him that I'm good.Because I know he laughsit out!

But sometimes I feel like getting his attraction and attention.
He knows that I love to receive gifts surprising gifts.But in these 3 yrs.Only once he gifted me surprisingly.
He buys many thing only in my presence.I ask him sometimes even if it's worth $1 ,I'll love it if it's unexpected one.He simply take it easy ...


But y don't he care for me?! I know he loves me but not expressive? But I believe he doen't loose anything in praising me at least once in a while to ice me...

Can't say he is practical even. Because he is so expressive towards his parents and sis...Thats y I'm confused!!

I'm not in dreams and fantacies.But I dont understand y he is so practical.

Give me opinions to let me know whether I'm alone to expect from hubby or many wives are like me?!!! suma replied. Hi Mia, I am also sailing on the same boat. Same as yours every family members and friends praises my beauty except my husband and also i quarreled many times with my husband regarding surprise gift... until today i haven't received a single surprise gift from him... Husband knows that we love them very much more than our life and craving for their attention.... but they won't praise us because they won't harm their ego... they feels if they continue praising us we may neglect them... and also we may feel superior (but in reality we are not)Silently they are creating distance in such matters. But for sure they loves us very much. But they will not express their love.
My serious suggestion is do not expect your husband to praise your beauty he knows that you are beautiful and do not expect any surprise gift from him.... when you do not expect you will be happy... try to enjoy each and every moment of your life.
Bye
Suma S replied. Hi Mia,
I would like to answer your question about whether this is `rare'. Believe me Mia what you are going through is very very very common.It's normal for men to be unable to express their feelings.Some men think this is unmanly and others have just not been conditioned to express them.Their brought is such.They have heard everywhere that men are strong,boys don't cry etc.
I am sure he loves you a lot and you know that already so please don't feel miserable.The most important thing for women should be that they have a hubby who loves them.If he does not show it,so what.It's Okay!
I have many friends who have husbands who love them but never show it in their day to day behavior.There are many others who have husbands who love them but criticize them when they are angry or in a bad mood...so aren't you better off.
In fact i had to fight and fight with my hubby to give me surprises.He was somewhat wooden initially.Then to escape my constant complains he started making everything into a surprise.Now when we go out to lunch in the weekend and if it's a new restaurant he will be like i won't tell you where it's a surprise!!!
HA...do i curse myself sometimes for giving him this habit!!!
So basically it's all normal and nothing out of the ordinary.
Alright then dear,
Take care,
bye,
S S replied. Hi Mia,
I can completely understand what you r going through.I too feel unappreciated in some ways if not for my looks.
Please ignore any negative comments here and think of the positive things in your life.It is rightly said...count your blessings one by one.
I know it's very easy to talk and advice but very tough to follow when it comes to your own problems.
I am also trying in vain to keep my sanity through marriage problems and so i cannot say i am following my own advice.
If u want to chat/talk email me on send2adoncia at yahoo dot com.
I live in USA and will be glad to have more friends who understand.
see u and please take care of yourself.Try to ignore things that are not in your control.That is the mantra i guess.
byr
S Jialy replied. Hi RR,
I dont think Mia is crazy.Because she has not thinking its a severe problem.She is just askng y cant he be expressive with her ,as he is with his other family memebrs.
Many ladies r concerned 'bout hubby's atraction.Because after a married woman's world changes and her center of world is husband.And none's coments give 'em pleasure than her husbands.
In case,Mia is so matured thatsy she could understand him and adjusted with his family( BEcause she told her SIL told her something ...many SILs wont tell her bro's wife those things unless she seems to be so good that never take advantage of SIL's comments,So MIA is definitely a good DIL and became imp family member for his family ) ...

Anyway, RR,u can expect ur own feeling but I think uhave to think from others side too!
I dont wan to comment on UR ,because I too read his comments previosly and I thought he/she shd change negative attitude towards other women.

uu replied. i totally agree with RR come on miss beauty queen u r now a mom behave like a mother...don't b a \";chamak challo\";thats not enough 4 u that ur husband loves u...and plz now after few days don't post this message again
regards
uu RR replied. Hope you are not in your 16's to expect all this. Probably you need to become more matured and practical..change yourself thats better.i think the pb with u is u think ur beautiful and u want everybody to priase it..just come out of this attitude then all be fine!