Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hey There,

Yesterday we went to watch Taare Zameen Par and was deeply touched by the movie. If I was a movie critic I' d give it 10 star rating. I guess it is a must for all parents and parents to be to watch this movie. Check out the website taarezameenpar and don’t miss this movie.

The movie made me really think of our role as a Parent...

In the midst of the eternal rat race, long working hours, increasing salaries and ever increasing expenditures…and the never ending fight to make both ends meet we’re sacrificing the most important gift we could give our children ..time truly spent with them without the worries of the upcoming deadlines, office politics, or the next EMI repayment bothering us…time spent with them understanding what they’re telling us...time spent really “being children” with them.

Probably few of us even give it a thought before we decide to have children and fewer realize the responsibility that goes with raising and nurturing children even after having them. For most of us it just happens as a matter of course that after wedding having children is the natural next step.

Nuclear families and both parents working being the norm and with the safety net of the grandparents increasingly disappearing, those that directly suffer are the children. Children end up in dubious day cares or with nannies often hardly out of their teens.We try to compensate the lost time with our children by buying them more and more expensive gifts. Ourselves in the rat race, we want our children also to be super-achievers. Be the best in studies, acting, dancing, singing, swimming, cricket, tennis and what not else. Often we will impose on the child what we were not able to achieve making them pawns in the story of our ‘success’.

Salaries have grown for sure but we always need bigger houses, newer cars, kids in ‘named’ schools and of course more and more shopping at the malls for the fanciest brands to drain anything that could be saved. Living more and more on the mercy of credit cards we get entangled in the web of increasing debts that only adds to our misery…without the peace of mind to enjoy time with our loved ones. We’re not satisfied with what we get paid since our needs keep mounting and this leads to more dissatisfaction you take back home.

Do we give a thought where were heading.

Parents are not able to deal with the increasing work pressures leading to problems in their relationship. The children are naturally so sensitive to pick up even smallest of the friction between the parents which if serious would lead to developmental problems in the child. Result…, inability to cope with relationship with siblings, peers and adults, deviant behavior, bad performance in schools. As the kids grow up to be this could develop into rebellious behavior with parents, bullying peers and smaller children, and yes, in rarest cases turn to criminal tendencies.

I personally regard all the money and comforts that ‘development’ brings us is meaningless if we first do not ensure that our children would have our time, will be protected and brought up with care so that they blossom into loving and caring individuals who’re capable of coping with
life’s myriad twists and turns and themselves be good parents.

Probably it is a good time to spend some time in the family discussing these issues… looking if you’re spending ‘quality’ time with kids and family, if your spending is under control and you’re not pressed under debt, seeking guidance from the elders in the family or even professionals to sort out any issues that you might have pushed under the carpet.

… all because this is the greatest responsibility of all you’ll ever have in your lives.

PS: I do not care if you forward this message or not but do make sure that you give this a deep thought.

Happy Parenting,
Vijay Krishnan Tony S replied. Hello Mr. Vijai,
I agree with u 100%. The film is very touching and after watching it I have become more sensitive to my childrens needs - i mean emotional needs as u have rightly said that we need to ' truly' spend time with them, be children with them, have fun with them, these moments r precious and go a long way in building their personalities. Now i wait for them to get home from school. i work part time and the best stress buster for me and my husband is to have fun with our kids. thx for sharing your thoughts.