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Name: Advisor

Hi Shilpa,

I have just recently started coming to this board and happen to read your post. Continuing or quitting work is totally your choice based on how strongly you feel about one vs another.

As far as potty training regressions are concerned, they are very common amongst kids. 60-80 of the potty trained kids regress at some point or another between age 3 to 6 years. The reasons for these could vary, primary being.

1. Stressanxiety due to a life-changing event or temporary circumstances.
2. Seeking attention
3. Medical reasons.

Keep in mind that this is very common when you approach this issue. If your son is able to communicate well, ask him what in his opinion causing these regressions and how he thinks you or folks at his school can help him. If he is unsure then you and his teachers need to handle this situtaion with lots of patience and cool head as if this is caused by anxiety in your son then you scolding or making your son accountable for these can make the situtaion worse.

When accidents do happen, say to him, oh, huh, you had an accident looks like, let me clean you up. Next time let me know before you have to go, we don' t like being wet or dirty, do we? and then clean him up and smile. When he telle you next time, appreciate him for tellin you. If he doesn' t and have another accident, say looks like another one in line, repeat the same reaction as before. Don' t make a fuss around it neither at school not at home, because if this is happening due to attention seeking behavior, then making a fuss will encourage this behavior.

Spend as much time with him as possible. enquire from him or see if there is anything which is making him anxious or stressful. talk to him about how was his day, what he likes about school, what he doesn' t, what he did there everyday, if he likes his teachers or not, why etc.
This will keep you updated with the happpenings at school. Also sync up with his teachers from time to time to know about his developments and tacking each problem as a team.

If you decide to continue work and your son insists you on quitting then tell him that you enjoy spending time with him a lot and you will not give up that for anything but you similaryly enjoy being a grown up and being responsible and going to work is just a tiny bit of being responsible. When your son will grow up, he will also need to work to make a living on his own and in order to do that he needs to learn how to be responsible and you are there for him.

Don' t be anxious or feel guilty because you go to work. Little kids are very sensitive to that and they feed on mom' s anxiety so be confident and self-assured. Your son will follow your footsteps there.

If things don' t progress much on the positive side, get him checked out to avoid any medical reasons for these accidents.

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