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m a working mom of 22 months old daughter. i put in preschool which is till 12.30 p.m. n then one aunty picks her up from school and takes her home. but my daughter does not eat from her hands. i cook everything in the morning and the aunty tries to feed her but she does not eat. she only wants me as she keeps saying mummy mummy . when i m there n i feed her, her eating is OK not stomach full but atleast she eats but with the aunty she does not eat anything. in school also she does not eat anything but spits it out. i even tried to go to her school which is near my office n tried to feed her lunch. for few days she ate nicely but afterwards she came to know that her mother will leave her again and go. so due to this insecurity feeling she is not eating from anybody' s hands. i like working instead of sitting at home but i m utmost worried about my daughter as she is not eating properly. i dont know what to do. i m finding she is losing weight also. she still gets up at night 4-5 times and then i give her milk in bottle. pls help me with solution. i dont know how to make her eat from somebody else' s hands. previously she used to eat from my moms and mils hands also. she eats from her father' s hands also. The aunty has started coming from past 1 week but she hardly eats anything from her hands. previosuly i had kept her in daycare for 1 week and i used to go in afternoon to feed her. she used to eat at that time. but when i found this aunty who will take care of my daughter at home, i felt it is good as my daughter will be more happy at home as that place is known to her. but she still keeps asking for me or her papa but after she gets up from sleep in evening she plays well. pls tl me how to go about her food. charu replied. iam also a mother of 23 months old daughter and am also working in software.I know how tough it is,still having the amenity staying just in front of office.
if u think from kids perspective u shud be able to understand how difficult it is stay with some unknown person and to be away from mother.
and some kids really cannot adjust with somebody else.
do all the trials as far as u can Srey replied. Fish is good, but Fruits and Vegetables are important.

Do your Daughter like to eat ice-cream, or popsicle stick?

You can freeze the fruit juice, just don' t forget to put a popsicle stick, so that she thinks it' s the real thing. hehe

Sometimes when feeding her, tell the lady to try to make smiley faces on the plate. It has worked for my nephew. Priya replied. thanks for the suggestion -saheli and srey. my daughter is not taking vitamins but i give her honey in milk, sometimes dates syrup, sometimes pediasure, sometimes banana powder in milk. i also make for her nutritious laddoos at home which contains many items good for her health. i have also made cornflakes chivda for her n she eats it. before going to school i try to feed her breakfast and after coming from office 1st thing i do is feed her evening snacks- like babycorn, mushroom pakoda or boiled sweet corn which she likes but she does not chew them properly and sometimes gulps them and the entire thing comes out from stools. she does not eat fruits that is also a problem. can u suggest me how to make her eat fruits. she does not drink fresh fruit juice also. but she loves non-veg so i try to give her fish 3 times in a week. the bribing technique - i use it for her which sometimes works but sometimes she is smart enough and does not listen to me. it is since 2 months that i m working and for the 1st 10 days my mom accompanied her to her preschool and after that she was used to school but for initial 10 minutes of dropping her in school she used to cry. that is OK i feel. After that for 20 days my mil took care of her at home. then for 4 days in daycare for whole day till 5.30 pm. then i found this lady. this lady tries to feed her but my daughter makes a fuss i feel. so i told the lady to try again and again and try all combinations of food. sometimes she may like some combination and eat. my daughter' s weight is 1 kg less than the weight she should ideally have. but i dont think that is a major problem as she is fit and healthy and does not fall sick often.

i will again explain to that lady how to make my daughter feed so my daughter will eat her stomach full.

n even after completing 22 months my daughter still wakes up at night for 5-6 times and i have to give her milk. this is also very disturbing for me as i cannot get good night sleep. i read a about earlier mails like not to give anything to her when she gets up and all but that is of not any use. even i tried putting diapers to her at night but in vain. pls suggest some thing. thanks. saheli and srey again. Saheli replied. Kids take time to transition out. It seems you are hurrying up on getting the responsibilities transferred. Kids take typically a month to get comfortably transitioned to another person.

Secondly, the person who is taking up the resp needs to be good enough.

Take a few steps back and start again with the transition of kid' s tasks to the maid. This transition needs your presence. Each kid is different, some get adapted easily, others take time, and yet others never accept new people! It should go like this typically if the kid is tough to manage.

Mother to be present along with the maid/creche people for some initial days. The mother does everything for the kid as others try to get the kid used to their presence and take it as per the kids' acceptance, like play with the kid, feed the kid .. as possible. Slowly, the mother shd transition responsibilites to the other person, and take it patiently. Start with easiest task that can be transitioned, and knowing what the kid will accept. Without forcing the kid at all. The mother can simultaneously reduce her presence, very gradually, without making the kid realise that something is happening. It can be like being starting with absent for 10 mins or so .. may be even show the kid that she is going to the loo .. and get out of the loo in 5 mins .. so that kid knows whats happening.

You too will have to take an appraoch like this. See how you can manage this with ur office, may be take some mornings off / start day late abd end late / half working days / how it suits u. Can work out with hubby.

Get the lady' s help as well. She needs to equally pitch in by showing lot of love to the kid, playing with the kid. Buy and plan some bribing gifts for the kid that the maid can use. Get some attractive toys/CDs colorful popup books that she can use to engage and divert the kid only during feeding time. She may also need to play arond with the baby, like peek a boo, as she feeds the baby. If kid giggles and stays merry with the maid, he will also eat from her hands.

See if the baby is getting used to bottle too much. Kid shd not get used to feeding bottle as he tries to avoid food. some kids try to find that wasy way out when they are hungry.

Also, you would need a lot of patience in achieving your aim. Plan it out, prepare and execute. Be happy with the kid, try n keep her happy.

Sooner or later, kid will accept the maid. Just take appropriate steps by picking guidance fom my post. I am far but you are there so you know what should be done and when.

Also, as Srey has mentioned, talk to the paediatrician and tell him what ur kid is going thru and if ped can suggest some supplements assuming she may not get the right nutrition for some time.

Till all this is happening, pls make sure you give her full good meals when u r with the kid. U need to keep ur patience, gather energy after office and do it .. this is the the exam time for a mother :-) but i am sure you will do it well!

Please make sure to post back how things are working out for u. Srey replied. Hello,
Is your daughter taking vitamins?

I don' t know if this will work...but, have you tried telling the Aunt bribe her. You know like, if she wants her favorite toy, she will have to take one bite of this and etc...

hope that helps.