Relationships  Discussion Forum

Name: pp

Hi,
I am 27 yr old. I am married from 2.5 years and mother of a 1 yr 3 months old baby girl. I am working in a s/w company. My husband is also working in a s/w company as a senior consultant. He earns very good money.My marriage was a arranged marriage and we got the proposal from internet. He spoke to me over phone and later my parents went to his native place and finalised the marriage. He belongs to a very poor family. His mother is no more, father is very old. Since this guy earns good money and frequently travel onsite, he has constructed a house in his native. In that house his bother,bothers wife with 2 kids (9yr,10yr) and father inlaw stays.My husband has 5 sisters, out of those 1 sister is very attached to him and this lady doesn´ t have kid. My husband financially supports all these people totally. I dont have any objection for this. This is the background of my husband family and important thing is they all are illiterate except my husband. My family is a very well to do family. My father is a senior class one officer. I have one brother who is also working in s/w company.
After I got married my husband started misbehaving me. He bits me,tells vulgar language etc. Sometimes he bahaves very politely also. His behaviour is very irratic. Initially I was compromising. Then I told my parents. My parents informed his brother as his father is very old (80yrs). But his brother kept quite. He forced me to have baby also. I thought it can be a bond for our relationship. So I agreed for that. I delivered baby girl. No one from his side came to see my baby. He always tells that as his family members are illiterate they cant come by train. After one month of my delivery I went to his place alone with the baby. During my stay at my inlaws place he suddenly came there. One day he again started quarelling with me and slapped me like a criminal. I informed his brother but invain. His family is totally involved in all these.My parents came n spoke to my husband. Anyway my husband became cool n flied back to his working place n I stayed with my parents. My husband asked me to come back, I thought lets take a chance. But its happening repeatedly.He is not guilty. I joined my company after my maternity leave. He asked his sister to come and take the baby to his native as I will be joining in my work. I opposed it and informed my parents. They came here and we all left his house, took a new house and stayed separately. After one week my husband left for US which we came to know later. From there he wanted to keep in touch with me. Anyway again I made up my mind and for my baby I joined him in US by taking leave of 1 1/2 months from my company. There he started telling me to quit the job. But as his behaviour is irratic n am not secured I said I cant quit the job n came back to India. Later he came back from onsite and requested me to stay with him. I left the house which I had taken and started staying with him. After staying with him for 2 months again same problem (quit the job/stay with his family etc..)
I dont know what to do. His family members doesnt want this relationship to exsist so that all the money will go to them. He never asks me while sending money to them. I dont mind if he is financially helping his brother. My husband is more concerned about his bothers family n his kids not about our life.Even he doesn´ t want to buy house here as he has a house in his native.He doesnt want any kind of establishment here.He is not concerned about our baby also. now my parents are staying with me as they are feeling am not secured and I have to go to ofc. My parents are taking care of my baby. My husband has gone onsite. Mu husband from the begining is not tolerating my parents. He has a severe inferiority complex. If I ask who will take care of my child if I go to ofc, he will tell my sister or my brothers wife will take care of the baby, so give the baby to them.He has also asked my parents to get out of his house. so I have decided to leave the house permanently and to be separated.His mind set is totally a different type. He wants me to stay with him during his stay at offshore and when he will go to onsite, I have to stay with his family. What ever he is earning I have to manage with that money with his brothers family, though I can earn money but he is not interested in my money. also he will not give us comfortable life as he has to give support for his family. He does not have any feeling for me n my child. Please advise.

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