Relationships  Discussion Forum

Dear friends,
i and my bf r getting married in dec. we were in love 2 years ago. My bf is very forward minded n i bit narrow minded. He always tell me enjoy life to its fullest. He says after marriage we will do wife swapping. He want to take experience of doing sex with other lady n want to check how he feels and want me also to do same with other man coz when we did sex i didnt reach orgasam many times, even i told him i m happy with this. Every time when we talk he take out this topic and make me upset. We often fight for this. I told that if u want all this things leave me but that also he dont want nor i coz i love him a lot.even he loves me much and very loyal how come he think like this? Also he like to have a drink like whisky and beer and i dont like it at all coz i think he will become drunker. I really believe in god too much and i am afraid to go on wrong path. Plz suggest me how to change his mind. ritu replied. Dear friends thanks a lot for ur replies. I talked with my bf regarding this topic. He said ok i agree that we will not do partner swapping but i am sure that all man in this world like to do that and they do and hide from wives. But i am frank guy so i told u. but from that day he dont talk with me properly. He even dont come to meet me once in a week or 2. I dont know what happen to him. But he keeps on telling that i want to marry u only and dont cheat me by doing marriage with other boy. I dont know what he want. Plz help me De replied. RITU....
I cant get over what you have written.
Ritu things dont change. Are you willing to live with this attitude in your life? Think how you will feel.

How do you feel about sleeping with someone else who is not your husband?

Sorry to say this but looks like you are not comfortable with the idea yourself ....so this will turn out to be like prostitution to please your partner.
No one....NO ONE.....is worthy of that kind of sacrifice from you!!!

Good God Ritu....open your eyes and see the reality. Get out of this before you get stuck.
If you need more help in understanding your situation or want more perspective of how life will be ....see some of those movies that they make about real life in India. I saw one called \";Salaam Bombay\"; recently and i was disturbed beyond words.
Make some time and watch this movie....then maybe you will see the selfishness of this guy. He is using you for his means.....and that is because you are letting him use you.
You dont seem to have an opinion of your own on this matter. You are ambivalent and neutral about it either ways.
And he does not feel the need to warn you of what you are getting into either. He is selfish and a sick person!


He hardly cares about you ...except for his own selfish wants.
It is going to be really hard on you.....but i pray to God that you will open your eyes and see what you are getting into.
Giving away your life to this kind of vaishipan is never going to bring you happiness.
It will hurt a little now to let this man out of your life....but i gaurentee that it will hurt much much much more if you let him stay in your life.

Dont take the positive attitude in this matter.....this kind of thing is beyond redemption.

De replied. RITU!!!!

Open your eyes and see what you are getting into. Get out of this while you can. You can always find someone else to love you. Your life will be much better without this sick person in your life.

No doubt that you love him. Sometimes love is not all the reason to get married.

Please please take this advice and get out of this before it is too late.....

What this person (your BF) is suggesting is sick. He is sick in his mind. It will never change.

Dont put your life in danger. Get out of this when you can.....please.

Write to us if you need more encouragement. purab replied. dont marry this person. he is not forward minded but sick minded. and your life is going to get hell after marriage. trust me. things dont change unless they themselves want to!!!!!! i know that you will anyway marry this guy, but keep this thing in mind that if you cannot get adjusted to his bevaiour before marriage you will never be !! all depends on you! Simmy replied. Ritu

You are not at all a narrow-minded person; rather your mind is on the right track. Sex is not the only thing in life even after marriage. If you and your husband plan to do partner swapping, it might create hell lot of issues in your personal life and you may never feel safe.

What if anyone of you gets emotionally attached to other person? What if you conceive a baby from other man? What if somebody gets STDs or HIV infection? There are many risks in this. Moreover if your friend and relative circle comes to know about this what image you would have. The people will have no respect for you or they will think you are “available”. Will you able to face people, your kids or yourself?

Try to convince your would be husband and you feel he is not convinced, please think logically many times before you get married to such person.

All the best!
Simmy.