Hi Hetal,

My daughter is 1 year old. She wants me to carry her as soon as return home from work and she will not allow me leave her even for 5 mins. If I am not arround she will be happily playing, but the moment she seems me she will stop her playing and will run towards me crying. I tried spending some time (10-15mins) as soon as I reach home and then start on with my work. But no use she starts crying the moment I pick up my work. I only should carry her when we take her out. She refuses to sit on her pram/tri-cycle and even she doesn't go to anyone.

Please suggest how to handle this.


chetal replied. Hi Leena,

I have same problem as u have.
My baby is 7 and half months old. He has extrem level of stranger anxiety and separation anxiety. I asked the doctor, but she said it will go away but it takes time. U see, at my home i am the only one who is taking care of him. When my husband is at home, he takes care of him. doctor said this is the reason. he did not see other family member but my whole family is in india. whenever he sees some new faces , he will start crying. Even just looking them , he start crying. He has two cousines , one is two year and other is 7 year. They like my baby a lot but even when he sees them, he start crying. I am wondering, that they are just kids eventhough he is doing that. But i guess after some time he will be fine so be strong. neetu replied. itxz normal.my son started doing dis when he was 10months old. now he is 1 year and i have managed to control him.
give your dd more time and involve your dd in all your work. i am following hetal tips on separation anxiety. they work awesome. i also work full time and as soon as i come home my son will stick to me like glue.
as in hetal posts, i started involving my son in my kitchen work, cleaning work or anything i do after coming from office. he enjoys playing with utensils,my tupper ware, spoons.sometimes when i am cleaning my bedroom, i give him my purse or some empty boxes of jewellery to play.first play with him with the same things and then alongwith dat, start doing your work.
just be careful about pointed items and remove them.
because he is near to me all the time once i am at home, follows me to bathroom also.
But atleast he has stopped crying and asking me to pick him all the time. my dh comes late and i live in single family so i have no other help.this is what i do.it worked for me.

don't bring your office work at home or do it at late night.whenever i have extra office work i do it after my son sleeps.don't feel sad for this, it is normal.
Jaya replied. i have saved it for my ref.thought it might help you :

http://www.indiaparenting.com/boards/showmessage.cgi?messageid=7330&table_name=dis_feeding

http://www.indiaparenting.com/boards/showmessage.cgi?messageid=1072&table_name=dis_milestones

hope this helps. Piyu replied. Your baby is missing you. Not because you work but because the quality and quantity time a baby should get from mom, she is not getting. Second problem seems to be limited attachment of baby, that is, you are the only person the baby finds attached to.

Generally how working mothers manage this is by giving time to baby when they come home and full weekends. When mom is away baby is with a person who she loves, say grandma or maid.

Who takes care of your baby when you are away? is baby attached to her? do you not give time to baby when you are back (like u are busy in cooking or housechores?)Does your hubby get invoved in taking care of baby when home and baby finds him someone she can be with?

Give time to baby when u r home. Give housechores to someone else. This will reduce baby's anxiety but it will never go completely (you are her mumma afterall)
Let their be redundancy in attachments. Like grandma or father or maid, these people should also be involved with baby such that baby likes going to them even when mother is home.

hope this helps