Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

Good morning to all, I am new to this site. I've been reading all the responses that you all give and I was wondering if someone can help me. I've been married for 3 years and we were planing to have our first child, I was so excited, but now my husband said that he doesn't want any kids, first he had my hopes up, I started taking all the vitimins and started keeping chart of my cycle etc. I am so upset that I don't know what to do, I asked him he said that we can't afford a child maybe in about 4 years from now maybe, I am 35 years old, and by the time he does plan on having one I will be in my 40's which is very late for me. I try to explain to him that once we have a kid we can manage our financial situation, I mean I have a good job and so does he, it's just that he is so freakn cheap sometimes...I am so depressed and I didn't even talk to him, please someone suggest to me what I should tell him or convince him in having a baby. I really need some adivce otherwise I will be very upset and god knows what a depression can lead a person into doing something stupid. Thanks. Sara replied. Hi JR,
I'm so sorry to hear about the situation you have found yourself in. 1st did you talk about having children before you wore married. If so then your hubby is going back on something that was vital in making you decide that he was the one for you.

Also as you get older your chances are not always as good as they were when you were younger so like now, waiting 4 years to start trying and I really hope this isn't true but then you could spend another year or so trying to conceive.

I think what your husband doesn't realise is that just because he says ok lets have a baby now , it still make take a long time (sadly im only 23 have been trying for 2 years with my husband and still no joy but am taking ovulex so fingers crossed)
Also I come from a very big family of 6 ! and my mum didn't work at the time my dad was always in and out of jobs and I can say to this day we never went without because you make do if my mum & dad did it with 6 my dad left as well then you can do it with one, Maybe start putting some money away each month *** baby fund** if your husband says that's the only reason you need to work out how much this will cost you in the 1st year say ? don't forget your family and friends will always be willing to help. I am a trainee councellor my advise would be this say when you say we cant have a baby because of money it makes me feel ________, then ask him how he feels making you feel that way it's a start but all I would say is this I would go without new clothes shoes and make up to have a baby I'm sure you would so really I think there is something other than money that he is worried about

This could be a number of things he may be scared of losing time with you or being your number one but I think you need to re talk about this, hope this has helped sorry if not,
**good luck **
Sara