Relationships  Discussion Forum

I am married women for 5 yrs.. and njoying my married life..I am very happy and my husband is very good..
I am a working women... I have one strange problem.. eventhough i am very happy in my married life ,
I am attracted to my colleague..when I look at him.. my heart beats.. and when I look at him ,
I feel he is also looking at me in same way..he is also married..
I know in my office evrybody respects me a lot .. but now I am worried why I am
getting such thoughts..sometimes I feel he is aware of my feelings..
which I want to control.. when i take leave I forget about office
and when he takes leave I miss him.. I like him to be around me,I dont interact much with him but still I have feeling..
I dont want any relationship or any mess in my life.. I love my husband a lot
I know practically that is only attraction but still I am unable to control my mind.
please tell does anybody gone through the same kind of situation..
in my near future atleast for coming 1 and half yr.. I can not change my
team and go away from him.. kisna replied. Joice, I am also in the same situation but the saddest thing is it is one sided. I like him for his maturity and intellectuality. Whenever I meet him, I long for his hug. I want him to hold my hands but my thoughts never crossed more than that. But, he strictly says NO and always tries to avoid me.

The more he is avoiding, the more I am getting attached to him. I really wanna come out of this fantasy. Any help from the forum ? rachel replied. It happens to many, you find yourself swept off your feet by one's touch or one's looks but trust me, stop before it goes any further. Why waste your time and your husbands trust just to find out in the end that you'll regret it. If your in a happy marriage.....don't rock the boat!! furthermore, if your marriage hits rock bottom then i would say its time to hit the beats with another man. Heartsick replied. as I am going through the same ordeal. I too am a married woman working in a professional environment. My husband & I are having problems for a long time and we are trying to deal with it but I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. My husband is an ambitious, intelligent and highly educated man whose ultimate goal is to earn ridiculous amount of money and be ultimately successful in life. He is trying & working hard to achieve this goal of his by spending most of his free time on his things and spending very little time with me. We have different personalities; he is very worldly and practical and always thinks with his head. On the other hand, for me my heart comes first and here I am attracted to a man who works in my office. I don't even get to see him as we work in different fields and his office is located on a different floor. I think he knows that I am attracted to him but he is a thorough professional and being a lawyer, he knows better! I am not even sure of his marital status but suspect that he is single or divorced. I met him recently at a week-long seminar he organized and I think too was attracted to me. He paid extra attention towards me During the entire time and recently came over to deliver course completion certificate personally. He even made an effort to find out where do I park my car etc. He even parked next to me the other day. I don't know what to do; I too don't want unnecessary mess in my life, nor do I looking for it but let me tell you this that I sure enjoyed the attention. When I go to office everyday, I long to see him. I too even made efforts to see him couple of times with some lame excuses which he knew. I am not some 20 yr old girl; infact I am a grown woman who doesn't know what to do.... Any sensible advice would be apprecited. Thanks LA replied. I think you might be attracted to him physically, which even if married, it is normal to be attracted to someone other than your spouse - just don't take it further than admiration. Or you may like something about his personality/charisma/mentality thatis attracting you, even something that you have always admired in people and maybe something your husband lacks - which is also ok. Because noone has every quality that you want in another person, right?

Anyway, maybe trying to decide whether the attraction is only physical or mental could help. If it's physical just tell yourself that it's normal but you have a loving husband who matters more to you. If it's mental, maybe he has a quality you would want in a friend - and what's wrong with that. I think sometimes women find it difficult to distinquish physical attraction from mental connection.

Either way, if you are happy with your husband, stay happy with him and deal with your feelings for this other person rationally. However, if you ever decide you need to go further in your curiosity, pls be kind enough to your husband to consider how he would feel, especially if he has always treated you well.