Hi Hetal,

I am sorry, but I am very NEW to this site, and this would be my first message.

I have gone through the messages and your replies to all of them. You are really kind and give a lot of helpful information...

So, I was wondering who are you exactly. Are you a doctor??

Well, right now am facing a problem, that my son (2yrs) has just started going to a playgroup, where he needs me all the time. I stayed with him for 3-4 days, and sicne last two days, I sit in the room next to his class. But he cries a LOT!!! I can understand that this is the first time, he is being kept away from him. But he has to learn right??? I also observed that the school also has a day care, where children come and go at different timings. The age group is also miced...few are of 2 yrs..few of them are 3-4 yrs and so on...There are children who keep on crying all the time, they keep quiet for some time and again waaaaaa waaaaaaaa starts... I saw that the care takers do not plan or have any activities for these cry-babies.

For a moment, I thought of talking to the care takers or the owner of the school-cum-day care to have such kind of activites so that they start learning to play with each other. Otherwise, how would they interact and learn to play/be in a group????

Am very much confused and concerned,

Please Hetal, I need your help... Hetal replied. the situation you described is quite common in day care,,
and whnever the new kid arrives,,for some days the chaos is quite understood and common.if you are saying that caretakers are not plannd and take ne interestng activities for kids,,thn its possible that they are considerng it as a common prob and that they are ignoring the crying of babies. to some extent it works but to let baby cry for longer time might create an insecurity to the child that no one is here to take care of you....so i would rather try to visit some other good day carre where the crying babies are calm with dif activities or diversion to some toys or so..instead of lettng them cry.

if you go to a place where there are lot of kids,,this is bound to happen,,they cant run after all kids,,esp if the staff is less..in good day cares, certain no of kids are taken care by say 1 or 2 caregivers and they take care of those 2-3 kids which gives those kids a personal attention.

yes you can take an initiative to talk about this to caretaker or owner to introduce more interesting activities in a way that kids start loving the company...all kids no matter how stubborn they are,how bad they are with strangers,,when handled properly,,they do stop crying ! its not that hard to do.thn it depends on caregivers how beautifully they are able to do that...

unless the child is physically in pain, he will not cry that loud or continue crying,,,,so it would not be a hard work for them, if the approach to crying child is proper...

for a couple days, kids do cry,,try going out of his sight and see how he reacts,,sometimes kids cry when they see thr parents and not because they are left alone !

and after all, if you think that teachers or caregivers are not attending kids properly,,approach them,if your efforts are not welcomed by them,,change the day care.

good luck.i dont have personal experience in this issue so i will not be of much help to you further....
anu replied. from what you said i think you have stayed only for 3-4 days. it is ok becaus some kids take a longer time. you can talk to the day care centre person and stay with him for two weeks. if after two weeks he is still crying may be he heeds more time and he is not yet prepared for separation. try after 3 months.

when you are with him observe how are the supervisors there. someitmes kids don't like even the tone of the teachers. also how is the nature of other children. since it is a mixed group may be the bahviour of elder kids is threatening to the 2 year old. also talk to your kid about why he doesnot want school. assure him that mommy will alwyas be ther around. promise him some small treats like chocolates if he doesnot cry. ot talk to him about carrying a favourite toy to school to share with his friends everyday. this will create more interest.you can also explain the nature of your kid to the supervisors, like his interests and they can use it to encourage him to get involved in the group. for example, my son likes trains very much and his teacher got a train book for him and from that day his interest was diverted.

don't worry my son was also like this. he used to get worried about going to school and he will wake up in the morning crying for mommy. it will be alright.