Aggressive Kids:PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING AND COUNSELLING
2005-08-13
Name: mascarenhas
Iam a psychologist specialised in child counselling and IQ testing.I deal with all behavioural related (hyperactivity, aggressive behavior, attentional, academic)problems of children and youth. In addition to child related issues, I also practise family counselling and therapy.
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Iam a psychologist specialised in child counselling and IQ testing.I deal with all behavioural related (hyperactivity, aggressive behavior, attentional, academic)problems of children and youth. In addition to child related issues, I also practise family counselling and therapy.
RAMAN CHECKER replied. My 4 year son is very active child. Good in almost all the activities . Frompast 2-3 months he has stareted behaving very aggressive and distrucyive. Whenevr he is been denied or any body do things against his wish , hesceama a lot, show hisanger by showing his teeth, hitting as well as throwing in the things,
Thisbehvior he has started i his school also. PLease advice.
Sundar replied. My Son is 6 and a half years old and is studying in primary school.He is a premature baby and was born on the 30th week of labour.since 18 months he was going to a full time childcare centre as my wife and i both work in singapore.He is very hyperactive and sometimes very aggressive.He is our only child and so we also give our attention to him.But he gets angry easily with his cohorts or even bigger children and beats them when provoked or if he do not like them coming in his way.We have been talking to him and asking him to be gentle and nice to others and also not to beat the children.He will say yes and will be nice only for a while .But still at times he exhibits this kind of behaviour.He is not friendly with girls who are of his same age.But in the childcare until last year he had good girl friends since they were together in the childcare for 4 years.But other than prefer to play with boys.In this regard we need to seek your help to understand his behaviour and to get him behave well.
What can we do to chnge him.Please advice.
this is gud to know that u r a psychologist specialised in child counselling and IQ testing and also u deal with all behavioural related (hyperactivity, aggressive behavior, attentional, academic) problems of children and youth. In addition to child related issues, with regard to that I hope u would help me through my problem about my one yr. child (boy).
Myself working in a pvt. Concern I m having a son of 1 yr. 3 months old, my problem is : he is very much possessive about me, he keep gud during morning hrs. till evening in play school cum cruch, there is no problem, bt when I went to take him, or my husband, he never wants to leave me for a second even, not allows me even to take a glass of water, to cook food, to do anything. I spend about a hour with him, still he never wants me to leave him.
The worst prblm, with me is he never wants to stop breast feed of mine, during holidays, or Sundays, he never leave me for a sec. and never eat anything, bottle feed etc., just suck me all the time, that much, that even I m becoming so weak and dull.
Sometimes I feel that much embarrassed I never prefer to go anywhere, he never wants to leave me.
I've tried many times, by making him cry, bt coz, of that he became ill, and fell down with fever or some type of prblm, that I'd to ran at that time to doctor.
Can u help me on this, I'll be very helpful to u, kindly advice me something, I can understand he luvs me, bt he jst caught me like anything.
Regards,
pooja
NAK replied. Hi!
My son is 16 months old, and he does things which are done by 2years. ( this is what I have been told by other parents) He speaks 3 languages fluently, English, Hindi and My husband's mother tongue. He started talking mono sylables when he was 9 months old. He can pick up words once we say it...also he knows some of his nursery rymes, and knows his picture books ( animals/fruits/things)and 1-10 numbers. All this by just hearing out. Only prb is he is very very energetic and constantly wants to do some thing.....Has a mind of his own. Any advice as to how to handle him.....He is very naughty too......
sheelcoutinho replied. my son who is 8 yrs old has no problem with his studies loves to read books the Enid Blyton series. watches a lot of cricket that too with a stastical point of view is not addicted to cartoons no complainta ffrom school so far model child for outsiders. but a devil at home just does not listen and gets aggressive when scolded and punished gets whacked too loves to argue and wastets time doing any work instead of completeing his work. we do not deprive him, of anything which is needed for achild at his age he even watches tv and read his story books and plays during his exams we do not put any pressure regarding his studies and he has been doing well. his only draw back is that he just does not listen it gets difficult and at times i feel i have failed i am a housewife.
pekjinn replied. it is nice to know that psychologists too contribute some ideas here. i am a counsellor, a general one. this is my 3rd year practicing counseling to all kinds of clients in the social welfare department in malaysia.
recently, a parent came up to me, asking for help regards their 3 young kids who are horribly aggressive and violent. through the interview i had with this parents, their mother and these 3 kids (8 years - boy, 6 years - girl and 5 years - boy) had experienced being abused by her previous husband who was the kids' biological father. their father is now in prison for this crime.
i was suppose to have a session with the kids this afternoon but they didnt turn up. I was planning to start off with a little bit of art therapy. what do you think? what else do you suggest i do? what kind of other intervention is it that is suitable for this kind of children. I have never experienced this kind of case and i am looking for more info to face this case.
Please advice.
Wejay replied. Hi Sybil,
I have been reading your valued responses and views on children's IQ and development. I have some qs regarding my children.
Firstly, let me tell a little bit about us.
I am a 31 year old woman living in the West USA. My daughter is 6 and my son is 2 1/2. They are generally happy and healthy kids. My husband is a very lovable man. He is a great father. Though he is a little lazy to help around the house sometimes (just like most men), when I explain to him about my problems and the importance of his involvement in the children's lives, he does a great deal to get involved.
Now coming to my concerns, my daughter is a very bright child. Since when she was 15 months old, she started to show signs of interest in math-counting, alphabets, singing etc etc etc. She was able to read and write, of course one-liners at the age of 3.5 years. The problem now is, we have to force her to read books. She does not show much interest in books. All she wants to do is just play. Unfortunately, in our neighbourhood there are'nt many children her age for her to play with. I have tried joining and initiating playgroups but none of the children are her age. All of them are atleast 2 years younger to her.
There is another issue. She always wants to impress strangers by initiating conversations and also talks loudly to attract attention. she constantly wants to make friends. She is quite a chatter box at home too. Of late, she has also started to say mean things to me which I don't want to give too much weightage as she is just trying to get negative attention from me. I do make her face consequences for her behaviour when it gets out of hand.
Recently, I have learnt that she just quits trying when things get harder. Swimming - she has work on side breathing with arm strokes, which is quite hard for her but she is not even trying. She just talks her way out of work with the instructor and I feel that I am just wasting money for nothing. Skating - the same thing. she wants a partner to do her work with so she can just talk when it gets harder.
How do I make her understand that without trying and practice she cannot succeed in anything? How do I get her to try new things. She is also so much into dressing up and looking pretty (I'll be honest here I am very irritated by that behaviour and discourage her from doing it)
She wants to put on pretty clothes, make her hair pretty and also wear make-up. I have to keep my dressing room locked so she won't go in there and do things.
So far she has no problems at school, I mean, academically or otherwise.
Coming to child #2. My son is ok so far. He just cries for everything even though he can talk in full sentences. We are trying to ignore his crying and also asking him to talk instead of crying. He will get there eventually. His potty training is not going well. He can do it when I make him sit on the potty but does not tell me before-hand.
Can you help me handle these situations?
Thanks and God bless,
Wejay
2008-07-30
#41
Name: shyam Subject: ADHD
I also have a kind and he is 6 years old. We also had gone through this phase and now he is far better after 2-3 years. ADHD goes slowly with the age if its not too strong. Also you can take your kid to some sports activities so that he gets physically exhausted.
2007-11-30
#42
Name: SK BUWA Subject: CHILD BEHAVIOUR
MY SON GAURAV BUWA IS NOT INTERESTED IN ATTENDING SCHOOL OR STUDIES. NEITHER HE TAKES INTEREST IN ATTENDING TUITIONS. HE STUDIES IN STD.SEVENTH.
SK BUWA
2009-04-30
#43
Name: Dilip M Subject: CHILD BEHAVIOUR
Ur child has concentration problem basically.I have treated kids like this with my music therapy,if u feel u can get in touch with me.
2007-08-16
#44
Name: parijat kashyap Subject: ADHD Child
My son is 6 yrs old. Mothers pregnancy and delivery was normal, there was no complication as such, except that the umbilical chord was around his neck which the doctors at that time said was normal. He had mild jaundice at birth. The problem started when he did not speak a single word till he was 40 months old and was lacking concentration. We took him to NIMH, Secunderabad in Nov 2004. He was diagnosed as being a case of Borderline Developmental delay due to ADHD. He was prescribed 0.25mg Sizodon (Resperidone) once a day initially, and twice after three months. His concentration increased after three months and started speaking words at the same time. We had been sending him to play school since he was 28 months old, presuming that with interaction with kids he will pick up speaking. Now his speech is normal, and his medicine was stopped in Nov 2004. The problem is that he does what he wants to do. He has become short tempered and retaliates if we scold him or any of his friend doesnot listen to him. He does not socialise with his peer group, but wants to be with elder or younger kids. He doesn’t want to hear NO from anyone. At home with his mother he is fine, but the moment I come back from work he starts disobeying her, as I pamper him. He knows what is right and wrong, but he will always follow what is wrong. He misbehaves in front of others, but the moment they leave, he comes and apologises and he will count the narrate the wrongs which he did. Presently, he is in class I, and his progress in class has been average. His interaction with teachers who pamper him has been good, however with other teachers, he is not happy. He writes in those teachers class who pamper him, but doesn’t write in others class.
2009-04-30
#45
Name: Dilip M Subject: ADHD Child
you can call me at zero nine eight nine three five zero three seven one five.
2009-04-30
#46
Name: Dilip M Subject: ADHD Child
Try Music therapy
2008-06-27
#47
Name: Naveen Garg Subject: Autism
Hi,
The case about your son seems almost the same as of mine.. My son is two and half.. hez also been advised Sizodon now.. does it really help.. I would be gratefull for your kind advise as you have gone through such situation. Is your son going to nomal school and started speaking normally as other kids..
2007-12-09
#48
Name: meena Subject: asperger syndrome
hi,
have you heard of asperger syndrome? ur son´ s behaviour seems to indicate towards that, because recently my 5 yr old son was also diagnosed with asperger syndrome and it is very difficult to diagnose the same......
2007-06-12
#49
Name: sushmita Subject: my hyperactive kid
Dear Mascarenhas,
this email is marked specifically to you to seek your expert advice. my son is currently 3.5 years approx is very active, so active that he constantly needs to do something new. he looses interest in everything very soon...i understand that his energy levels are very high but i seem unable to channelize it in the right direction. since both of us (me n my husband)are both working, we are very drained out by the time we return.but we dop spend a very decent time with him. none if our trips (in n outside city)beyond official work are without him. during the day he is in good care of his gradmom with a full time loving and caring servant. yet now he has become very stubborn n rowdy. no matter how we explain to him he just does not understand. he has started losing apetite for right kind of food n wants only junk stuff, which i really try to conrol in a big way. there is no dearth of food at our place n he normally gets what he desires, but yey his never seems to get over the urge of things he likes. just does not even behave in front of guests or other people' s houses. it get very embarrasing at times. he is quite an intelligent kid but somehow i m unable to inculcate mannerism in him. i do get very harsh on him at times. of late i shout and hit him too. i get very annoyed n irritated...i understand i should not scream on him but it just gets beyond me. please help.
2009-04-30
#50
Name: Dilip M Subject: hyperactive kid
try music therapy u will find the change in the kid.call me at zero nine eight nine three five zero three seven one five.
2009-04-30
#51
Name: Dilip M Subject: Hyper active kids.
One of the best ways to relax hyper active kids is music therapy.
2007-01-13
#52
Name: RAMAN CHECKER Subject: Aggresive behavior of my son
My 4 year son is very active child. Good in almost all the activities . Frompast 2-3 months he has stareted behaving very aggressive and distrucyive. Whenevr he is been denied or any body do things against his wish , hesceama a lot, show hisanger by showing his teeth, hitting as well as throwing in the things,
Thisbehvior he has started i his school also. PLease advice.
2006-05-01
#53
Name: Sundar Subject: beating other kids
My Son is 6 and a half years old and is studying in primary school.He is a premature baby and was born on the 30th week of labour.since 18 months he was going to a full time childcare centre as my wife and i both work in singapore.He is very hyperactive and sometimes very aggressive.He is our only child and so we also give our attention to him.But he gets angry easily with his cohorts or even bigger children and beats them when provoked or if he do not like them coming in his way.We have been talking to him and asking him to be gentle and nice to others and also not to beat the children.He will say yes and will be nice only for a while .But still at times he exhibits this kind of behaviour.He is not friendly with girls who are of his same age.But in the childcare until last year he had good girl friends since they were together in the childcare for 4 years.But other than prefer to play with boys.In this regard we need to seek your help to understand his behaviour and to get him behave well.
What can we do to chnge him.Please advice.
Regards
Sundar
2006-03-17
#54
Name: pooja Subject: Possessive son
Hello dear mascarenhas
this is gud to know that u r a psychologist specialised in child counselling and IQ testing and also u deal with all behavioural related (hyperactivity, aggressive behavior, attentional, academic) problems of children and youth. In addition to child related issues, with regard to that I hope u would help me through my problem about my one yr. child (boy).
Myself working in a pvt. Concern I m having a son of 1 yr. 3 months old, my problem is : he is very much possessive about me, he keep gud during morning hrs. till evening in play school cum cruch, there is no problem, bt when I went to take him, or my husband, he never wants to leave me for a second even, not allows me even to take a glass of water, to cook food, to do anything. I spend about a hour with him, still he never wants me to leave him.
The worst prblm, with me is he never wants to stop breast feed of mine, during holidays, or Sundays, he never leave me for a sec. and never eat anything, bottle feed etc., just suck me all the time, that much, that even I m becoming so weak and dull.
Sometimes I feel that much embarrassed I never prefer to go anywhere, he never wants to leave me.
I've tried many times, by making him cry, bt coz, of that he became ill, and fell down with fever or some type of prblm, that I'd to ran at that time to doctor.
Can u help me on this, I'll be very helpful to u, kindly advice me something, I can understand he luvs me, bt he jst caught me like anything.
Regards,
pooja
2006-01-16
#55
Name: NAK Subject: My son
Hi!
My son is 16 months old, and he does things which are done by 2years. ( this is what I have been told by other parents) He speaks 3 languages fluently, English, Hindi and My husband's mother tongue. He started talking mono sylables when he was 9 months old. He can pick up words once we say it...also he knows some of his nursery rymes, and knows his picture books ( animals/fruits/things)and 1-10 numbers. All this by just hearing out. Only prb is he is very very energetic and constantly wants to do some thing.....Has a mind of his own. Any advice as to how to handle him.....He is very naughty too......
2005-10-15
#56
Name: sheelcoutinho Subject: aggressive son
my son who is 8 yrs old has no problem with his studies loves to read books the Enid Blyton series. watches a lot of cricket that too with a stastical point of view is not addicted to cartoons no complainta ffrom school so far model child for outsiders. but a devil at home just does not listen and gets aggressive when scolded and punished gets whacked too loves to argue and wastets time doing any work instead of completeing his work. we do not deprive him, of anything which is needed for achild at his age he even watches tv and read his story books and plays during his exams we do not put any pressure regarding his studies and he has been doing well. his only draw back is that he just does not listen it gets difficult and at times i feel i have failed i am a housewife.
2005-09-22
#57
Name: pekjinn Subject: HELP
it is nice to know that psychologists too contribute some ideas here. i am a counsellor, a general one. this is my 3rd year practicing counseling to all kinds of clients in the social welfare department in malaysia.
recently, a parent came up to me, asking for help regards their 3 young kids who are horribly aggressive and violent. through the interview i had with this parents, their mother and these 3 kids (8 years - boy, 6 years - girl and 5 years - boy) had experienced being abused by her previous husband who was the kids' biological father. their father is now in prison for this crime.
i was suppose to have a session with the kids this afternoon but they didnt turn up. I was planning to start off with a little bit of art therapy. what do you think? what else do you suggest i do? what kind of other intervention is it that is suitable for this kind of children. I have never experienced this kind of case and i am looking for more info to face this case.
Please advice.
2005-08-26
#58
Name: Wejay Subject: My children (Very long)
Hi Sybil,
I have been reading your valued responses and views on children's IQ and development. I have some qs regarding my children.
Firstly, let me tell a little bit about us.
I am a 31 year old woman living in the West USA. My daughter is 6 and my son is 2 1/2. They are generally happy and healthy kids. My husband is a very lovable man. He is a great father. Though he is a little lazy to help around the house sometimes (just like most men), when I explain to him about my problems and the importance of his involvement in the children's lives, he does a great deal to get involved.
Now coming to my concerns, my daughter is a very bright child. Since when she was 15 months old, she started to show signs of interest in math-counting, alphabets, singing etc etc etc. She was able to read and write, of course one-liners at the age of 3.5 years. The problem now is, we have to force her to read books. She does not show much interest in books. All she wants to do is just play. Unfortunately, in our neighbourhood there are'nt many children her age for her to play with. I have tried joining and initiating playgroups but none of the children are her age. All of them are atleast 2 years younger to her.
There is another issue. She always wants to impress strangers by initiating conversations and also talks loudly to attract attention. she constantly wants to make friends. She is quite a chatter box at home too. Of late, she has also started to say mean things to me which I don't want to give too much weightage as she is just trying to get negative attention from me. I do make her face consequences for her behaviour when it gets out of hand.
Recently, I have learnt that she just quits trying when things get harder. Swimming - she has work on side breathing with arm strokes, which is quite hard for her but she is not even trying. She just talks her way out of work with the instructor and I feel that I am just wasting money for nothing. Skating - the same thing. she wants a partner to do her work with so she can just talk when it gets harder.
How do I make her understand that without trying and practice she cannot succeed in anything? How do I get her to try new things. She is also so much into dressing up and looking pretty (I'll be honest here I am very irritated by that behaviour and discourage her from doing it)
She wants to put on pretty clothes, make her hair pretty and also wear make-up. I have to keep my dressing room locked so she won't go in there and do things.
So far she has no problems at school, I mean, academically or otherwise.
Coming to child #2. My son is ok so far. He just cries for everything even though he can talk in full sentences. We are trying to ignore his crying and also asking him to talk instead of crying. He will get there eventually. His potty training is not going well. He can do it when I make him sit on the potty but does not tell me before-hand.
Can you help me handle these situations?
Thanks and God bless,
Wejay
2005-08-28
#59
Name: mascarenhas Subject: re
hi
you havent mentioned how old your son is. potty training: make a schedule whereby the child has to visit the toilet at that time. So, it could be once every hour or so to relieve himself. tell him that he has to go to the toilet and follow him to the toilet. once he is inside make sure that you reinforce him positively everytime he sits on the potty. also, tell him at that time when he has to use the potty. so, in case you are busy then he has to do it by himself and call to you for help. if he messes up when he is not on the pot then you need to take him and make him sit on the pot even if he has finished the job. any cleaning of his soiled clothes etc has to be done in the toilet in front of him. he will learn to associate the two and eventually learn to signal to you. give him time to learn the behavior at least 2 months or so if you are practising it consistently and everyday. if you find him doing it by himself then reinforce him positively.
crying: answer his request or his demands whenever he talks to you and does not cry while talking. do it consistently.
as for your daughter, there are times when children show a spurt in their learning and at times there could be a lag. not something to worry. you need to find more age appropriate activity classes for her. read to her at night. enlist her help in reading for e.g. if she can read any sight words, etc. then ask her to read it while you are reading the whole line. children do enjoy playing and learn a lot from their playmates. make an activity schedule which tells her how much of time she really has to play and what she is suppose to do with the rest of her time.
I am a numerologist by profession. I provide name corrections in people so that u can get more success in life. ... - rd [View Message]
RE:PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTING AND COUNSELLING
I am a numerologist by profession. I provide name corrections in people so that u can get more success in life. ... - rd [View Message]
RE:help
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Hi I am a professional numerologist from Mumbai. I help people in suggesting proper names and signatures for them, lucky names for their new born babies, companies, restaurants, hotels, businesses, etc, according to their birth date so that they will get more success in their life. I assure success in a person’s life after consultation. ... - rd [View Message]
RE:Why does my child take to violence so often
Change Name Change Destiny
Hi I am a professional numerologist from Mumbai. I help people in suggesting proper names and signatures for them, lucky names for their new born babies, companies, restaurants, hotels, businesses, etc, according to their birth date so that they will get more success in their life. I assure success in a person’s life after consultation. O... - rd [View Message]
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Name: shyam
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