Family  Discussion Forum

Hi I' ve been married for 3 yrs.My husband works in IT firm & earns quite well. He is never open with me about money matters,even did not put me as nominee in his LIC etc. He works from home & spends 3-4 hrs every day with my MIL . My inlaws (who are very well off) are very stingy. We dont even have a dinning table/almirah/Sofa sets. We live like Jhoppar patti people, wearing old clothes, old bed sheets. My Hubby take monthly 10K from me towards monthly expenses. If I insist on buying furniture , he asks me to give more money. He never shares any family issue with me & takes all decisions with Inlaws. I am working & earn around 25K/month . I dont like living like this Deepika replied. Based on your post i can clearly see that your in laws are not loving you at all and this will become even worse after some point of time if you do not react at the moment because they will then start demanding the entire amount what you are earning. Deena replied. According to me you should not think so much and first of all just stop giving money to your husband as he is not deserving at all and you should in fact question him that you need money for your livelyhood as he is the responsible person for the same. Shreeja replied. Forgive him and just leave everything and stop giving the money from now onwards and if your husband demands money from you just say that even you require money for your living as you have your own responsibilities and you have to run your house on your own. Sarita replied. According to me you should not be simple as this as these are matter of big concern and you should always make it a point that you have all the rights to your husbands income and you should know where is your husband spending those money and to whom he gives. Shikha replied. Hello my friend if you want you can clear this is out with your mother in law as she will tell you the truth as why is your husband not supporting you in your daily life, please be open with her as she is the only person who can help you out of this matter. Seema replied. Hey dear this is really sad what has happened to you but then you can always stop this as this is in your hands ans stop giving the money to your husband and ask him why cant he give you the money when he is earning so good what is the reason behind to it. Suman replied. You are earning a good amount of money monthly and as you have said that your husband is also earning very well then why are you giving your money to him and why are you not questing him about his earnings as its your rights on it, please speak up on this. Sujata replied. If the husband follows the inlawas means its very clear that he will always listen to them instead to you, in this matter i can clearly say that you are not living the life you deserve and just helping your husband in his living and earning for him. Aditi replied. Hello friend this is not acceptable and why are you not raising your voice against injustice on you. Please speak to your husband on this and make him feel that what he is doing is completely wrong with you and ask him directly what is the reason behind it. Aditi replied. Hi dear if you want you can speak to some women empowerment organization as this is not done and you should not allow such things to affect your life at all, please maintain your dignity as you are self made women and not dependent on your husband for everything. Anita replied. According to me you should not act like this as this is really sad to see that your husband is treating you so badly infact you should make him understand that this is not the way you are asked to be treated and the same will continue then it will be bad for him. Anaida replied. Hello dear this is really weird behave of your husband towards you, please do one thing just speak to your husband directly and ask him whether he really loves and want to spend the rest of his life with you or not. Just go and ask him upfront and see the reaction on it. Kinjal replied. Hi dear please stop getting used by your husband as he is not worth for you, please leave for some time and i am sure he will understand your value and he will return back to you with a change man, please do it as said. Kavita replied. Can i ask you one thing if you are saying that you are giving 10k every month to your husband then where is the remaining money going, you can start using that money on yourself as thats your own earned money. Karuna replied. Hello there are problems in every couples life, i think you need to sit with your husband and discuss the issue with him and i am sure he will understand your needs and requirement and will not stop you in doing so. Kamini replied. I think you are making a big mistake by giving the money to your husband and rather you should start spending that money on yourself and make happy by getting what you need that will bring more happiness to one self. Kajal replied. Hi dear i think you should fight for it, this is not done and you are losing your self respect also, i think you should leave your husband if he is not giving the right to choose your own rights. Please act on it immediately. Jigna replied. Hi there please stop giving the money to your husband and tell him until he is not listening to you there will no relationship between both of you, please understand this is necessary to save your marriage. Jigisha replied. I can understand your situation as we live in a male dominating society, we are earning then also we cannot spend our own money on our self, this is the biggest suffering what we go through and it pains a lot. Jhanvi replied. Hi dear please do not continue in the same manner as your husband will not improve rather he will demand the entire 25k after some point of time, so please start using your money on yourself and spent it the way you want.