Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi,
my problem may not seem all that serious but its been causing me some dissappointments for sometime now.Ours was a Love Marr and I've been recently married. My husband has been here in US for more than 5- 6 yrs...all these yr he's either been alone or with some roommate. he has never given much importance to functions like b'days or other important festivals like diwali etc( like most bachelors do). I am with a totally diff mindset...these things matter a lot to me.....b'days, anniversaries (even dates that we started going out together) and festivals like diwali etc are important to me and I want to make these days special...he doesn't show much interest in all this 'coz all these yrs he's been used to the other way...what shud i do now ? since he's not interested shud I also leave my interest and stop expecting anything ? shud I also start treating these days like any other day ? Have any other lady out there faced a similar problem ? Do all men have a similar mindset ???? LA replied. So he doesn't show interest, why do you think you should have to stop enjoying them? He doesn't have to attend every function you do. And if you're celebrating your anniversary or his birthday, surprise him and make some plans of your own, something for the 2 of you to do together or even if you want to invite others. But, you plan it.

I don't think you should expect him to want to like these things or like arranging them. I think that is personal preference.

The only thing you could do other than that is tell him how much it matters that he is involved in in and ask that he compromise and do these things with you half of the time and the other half you will go at it alone.

I am exactly the opposite from my husband. He is into all these things and I only occasionally am in the mood for it. I remeber things very well but some things are more important for me to celebrate than others. Some ppl like to celebrate everything and others nothing at all.

Just talk to him about it and good luck. NIK replied. Dear,
Men are poor in remembering these dates and celebrating. They want women to take step and do all the planning. You go ahead and plan for all occasions. That might be OK for him.
But don't expect too much from men. You try to give some gifts for every occasion. I'm sure he likes it and feels happy for your concern. But he might not do it in return. That's what happens for me. I give him small gift's on every occasion but he never gives me back though he loves his gifts. He is not patient enough to go shop for me.
Be patient. juvi replied. I am a man and most of my male friends are with the same attitude. Men are like that. We dont like remembering dates and celebrate etc. Did you know that men are very poor in history?

You should not blame this on your husband and should not expect such things from him. But you can do whatever you want to celebrate.