Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi everyone,
I am living in the state with my husband and wonderful little girl. I am really happy, because I have a loving husband and I love him too. But before I met my husband I had feelings for someone. When I was in middle School in India, I was living with my uncle in the small village. There was guy who was in love with me. Althoug he showed his love for me. I never told him or anyone else that I had feelings for him too. Because I was in the 9th grade, didn't know if that was just a crush or LOVE. Alos I had a medical condition that required to see doctor once a week. The only reason I was living in that village with my uncle was that the city where I was seeing doctor was very close to that village and My parents were living far from there. Back to this guy. He was a very nice guy. He lost his mom when he was very young, and his stepmom wasn't that good. He also lost his father right after we finished high shcool. Although I never told him that I had feelings for him, I guess he knew. He sneaked lot of letters in my books during breaks. I never replied to his letters, but I loved those letters. Everyone in the school knew about his feelings since he was a popular student. He always took care of me at the school picknics and trips (Indirectly ofcourse). I always thought that I just had a crush on him not LOVE. And due to my medical condition and some family issues with his family I never told anyone about my feelings. After Middle School, I went back to stay with my parents for devoted all my time into studies. He moved somewhere else too since we didn't have high school in that village. He tried to contact me once in the high school by someone, but I didn't take his letter.

After I got married, I found out from my cousin (who is married to his friend and he told her about me) that he wasn't doing good. He became alcoholic and started smocking. He also dropped out of the college. I have been feeling guilty since. Last time I went to India after 4 yrs. and my cousin told me that he is getting his life together. He is married to someone whom he loves (I wish all the happiness to both of them) and he is working too. But I still feel guilty and I still feel something for him, not sure what it is, but deep down I still have feelings for him. And I just want to see him once. I don't want to even talk to him. I feel like I would look at him, and I would know if he is happy or not. On the other side I don't want to open old woulds and hurt him again. What Should I do? Please give me some advice. I still think about him everyday. King uncle replied. Dear neha,
Don' t burden yourself with the guilt of being the reason for the situation of the boy.He sent you messages in the high school but then was a half hearted attempt to woo a girl not a determination to have her in any cost which is there in love.Over time this would have fizzled out.So you are not responsible for the state of affairs of the person.There has been something else.

Stop thinking about him.He does not exist in your life.Do not meet him.It can only harm your life not do any good to you or him.Get on with your life and enjoy what have you gained ie a loving husband and a cute daughter. rose replied. Hi,

since both of u have had a feeling for each other and now have taken a different person as ur life partner, the better way will be to try forgetting about ur past life and to lead a honest and open life with ur husband. because if u always think abt that man, u can never be in real love with ur husband. a mentality of comparison would create a lot of dissappointments in life esp. with ur partner. so just go ahead with ur life and avoid hearing abt that guy from any means. be happy with the thought that he is NOW happy with his life. leave him to live a peaceful life....dont interfere.