Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,

I have 6 month old daughter and iam working in software .I have joined back work when she is 3 months old.My parents were there with me and they encouraged to join work back.Iam not facing work pressure much as project has not started.
But I feel life is really changed.My career has taken a back seat as i keep thinking of my daugher only.Also two times she was ill so she was totally on mothers feed.Before having the kid i enjoyed my life totally for 2 years doing very well in career and in weekends me and my husband roamed carelessly in movies,shopping.Now we hardly go out.Even if we go out there is so much prepration before that.
I really feel that life was so much ease before the baby.I could delayed the baby for some more years.Also relations with hubby also changed
Have any faced this kind of depression and do things really get better? sal replied. hi,
I am too a mother of a 2 yr gorgeous daughter and working full time for a s/w firm.I don't have any extended family to support me and hubby has far more difficult career.

But I'll say there is a transition in woman's life when she becomes mother.You need to bearendless resposibilties and do lots of hardwork plus you require unlimited patience,,,We need to have preparedness and willingness in us for accepting this challange of being a mother as well as working professional...
Managing a job, having a warm marriage, raising a kid and not at all missing fun of life these all things are difficult but its not that we woman cann't do it...If hardships are ours than acheivements will be ours only...

If there are no hardships in life than you won't have fun also and you will endup living a boring life no matter how many movies you see in a month with your husband and how many shopping trips you have...you will feel empty.

so please be postive and make your own ways.

bye
love life
sal
mother replied. Hi niki,
I have a 7 year old son and I can imagine what all you are going through. When my son was born I also use to feel the same, life got completely changed and I was not able to handle everything.
I was working in IT and the working hours were tough.
First thing that I did was I took complete 7 months leaves (without pay). Everyone at that time opposes my decision and my husband wanted that I should join early. But I told them that I am not a superwoman and would need some time to adjust to new lifestyle.
When my son was 6 months old I started taking him out. Imagine I used to drive 50 km to visit my parent's house with the small baby and I never faced any problems. I didn't stop my habit of going out on every weekened, just changed the places. We would go out to a children's park or a mall which has more space. We would go out for eating but not to any pubs or bars. There are lot of family restaurents and they have special arrangements for small kids.
Till date my son and I go out and have fun together.
You can also try the same, don't think that your life is restricted because of your child just look for some other ways to enjoy together.
-love
-a mother rekha replied. Nikki,

I work in IT industry and have 18 months old beautiful daughter i agree with u life as changed completely. My hubby as to quit his job as one of us have to quit to look after baby and of course he started business.I always think abt baby and of course career is in back seat I think thats fine with me till she is matured enough managing herself and then i will concentrate on money and career.right now its just SHE SHE only in life..i cant just live without her.Like the way she smiles,calls me mom..make me crazy about her. As S said kids are now part and parcel of family and running around them as center point..so dont ever think its unusual case.. S replied. Hi Nikki

Dont worry. I felt exactly the same way after my son was born 18 months earlier. I am also in the software industry. At least you are working but I quit my job after my son was born. That was really tough on me coz I am so used to going out and meeting people. I then went back to work when he was 10 months old and then had to quit again coz I could'nt manage it all. And yes, things will change. You cant eat out all the time. You cant go shopping or to the movies for hours on end.

But still, there are moments when its all worth it. Like when ur baby smiles or plays with you, or that first moment when he/she makes a loving gesture like hugs etc, like when they reach milestones. Things will never be the same. You have a brand new person in ur life and u have to give urself time to adjust. And then slowly, ur baby will be a part of ur family and u will wonder how u ever lived without him. Hope I helped.