Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi, I'm in my final year of college and I often check this site and read about all the problems listed here. In a few years I'll be getting married. I would like to know everyone's opinion regarding love marriages and arranged marriages. Which type of marriage do u think is the most lasting and happy one? If its a love and intercaste marriage are there any problems faced by the girl?? Friends, please reply about this so that I can make the correct decision when the time comes. Thanks. deepa replied. hi shruti,
love marriage or arranged marriage...there are many successful or flop marriages in both the cases... its the boy(man) who matters and how far does his mental wavelength (thinking) matches with urs or not. ur likes and interests...do they match or would they be respected by him or not.... Friend 2 replied. Hi Shruti and Friend -

I agree with Friend...you need to get to know someone first before you can commit to marriage.

I am Indian as well but I had an arranged marriage. I was not totally against the idea but I would have preferred to have married someone I was in love with and or dated for a long period of time. The reason I went this way was to make my parents happy.

Shruti - everyone loves their parents but this is a hard decision to make and just remember that you need to decide what is right for you. Arranged or love is up to you but even in an arranged marriage now you can demand seeing the person for at least 6 to 8 months before you make a decision.

You are smart to ask these questions now and I wish you all the luck. You will make the right choice. Remember to let the other person know exactly what you want out of this relationship up front. For example: do you want to continue to work, children, your parents, his parents, living, cooking, cleaning,etc. You may think these things can be discussed later but these are some of the issues which cause problem so it is better to get an understanding up front before you make the big decision.

Good luck. Friend replied. I'm Indian & the arranged marriage would never work for me. This is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. I think even if it's arranged, one must have enough time to get to know each other well before jumping into a life long commitment. I married an American & I'm completely happy with it. It depends on the person & how well you can get along together most importantly if you can trust each other. I know of arranged marriages & love marriages that have fallen apart & both types that have lasted. I also know of people in both kinds of marriages that are still married but really unhappy. So when you find the right person, let your heart be the guide rather than society deciding what's right or wrong. Goodluck!