Parents of Preschoolers  Discussion Forum

My son is 4 1/2 and he is painfully shy. He gets embarrassed very easily and does not want any attention on himself. He goes to preschool and it seemed to open him up a little bit however he still does not talk to his teachers. My son loves playmates and he is nice to everyone because he desperately wants a friend. I feel terrible for him because he tries so hard and the kids are mean to him. He gets bullied at the playground and even at school. I have worked with him on ways of handeling the bullying however he finds himself back in the same situation over and over again. He starts kindergarten soon and I don't want him to have to go through this all his school life. What to do?? thirubeli replied. Know the two or three children, your child is comfortable with. Invite them with their parents to your residence. Leave the children to themselves but keep an eye and gradually he would overcome shyness.
Nikita N replied. Hi there. I am sorry to read about the pain you are going through.
I've had a similiar situation although my son is quite an extrovert and tries hard to make friends.....

Have you tried one-on-one play sessions, on a regular basis, with one or two children that your son is familiar with, perhaps from his pre-school? Let him get really familiar and comfortable with those one or two children so he can feel like he has a couple of buddies. He may not be comfortable with too many people around. And presumably if you invite a child and his mother over to play with your son, the other mother would at least try and discipline her child if he/she became mean towards your child.

How about a slightly younger playmate, with the hope that they won't boss him around!

Sometimes, for my 3-year old, slightly older company does wonders. Not always -- it has to be a child who'll take your son under his/her wing but at the same time will play with him so they can have fun together.

Have you talked to the preschool teachers to see if they have any suggestions? I would also talk to the Kindergarten teachers about your son so that they can possibly help him out.

Hope this helps!! Unfortunately, these struggles do seem to take a while to get through, and I do hope you get through yours soon.