Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

I'm not married yet. But if and when I do, I don't want to have any children. I think in an over populated country like India that doesn't require any justification. I just don't want another human being to struggle in life like i'm doing right now ( that too a human being brought to this world by ME). The problem is, do I tell about my decision to my wife to be before marriage? or do I try to convince her after marriage. How do I tackle this situation in case of a) arranged marriage b) Love marriage. Please help!!!
Shrinivas shannu replied. I guess U should tell Ur would B wife well in advance abt Ur thought of not having a child of Ur own. Am sure that she will B having her own dreams abt her life ahead. So better talk to her abt it in advance. Rather than shocking her..... Thats not the rt way.
All the best

uma replied. Well, this is a message board about adoption, so have you considered adoption? I'm adopting for the same reasons you don't want to bring another life into this world(it isn't really the greatest place, it it?). If adoption weren't an option, I wouldn't have kids, myself. But I really desire to be a mother and look forward to the adventures with my children, so I decided to adopt. Won't you? Do you just not feel parental? If that's the case, don't adopt. But if you do have parental urges, consider adoption, okay?:) vibha replied. the fact that you would even consider entering a marriage under false pretenses and then, spring this surprise on your unsuspecting wife... vibha replied. If you don't want to have children I suggest that you don't adopt. Adopting children is \";having\"; them.

You are their parent. How will they feel if they ever hear you say, \";I didn't want to have children so I adopted them?\"; Myna replied.
Wonderful that you want to consider adoption. In no circumstance should you marry somebody without telling her of your intentions first! It's a very important decision, and should be made by both, it would be betrayal to make the decision all by yourself and try to convince her into it later. Best of luck, hope you find somebody who thinks like you. God bless you for being thoughtful.