Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

Hi
Friends RIA here after a gap of 1 yr almost.I have been a rergular reader of this forum since oct/06 . that time anamika ,prerena sanjana were also regular in this board . i donot know whether they already got success .
Now my story - one miscarriage in 10 yrs, of marriage(normally)one IVF miscarriage in 07 now the saddest part -done IVF in JAN/08 ,everything went fine & lastly gave birth to a gal child this month by C-section(one month before due date)and she died after three days making us shattered, devastated .(though we took allprecautions and were in absolute bed rest for the whole period).Do not know how to come out from this trauma. sometimes want to die .the face of the child always reflects in my mind.tear rolling down from my eyes . i just cannot write any more.my health is still not well wanted to share with u people as always .
Hope that nobody of this forum experiences this type of failure .

LUV all RIA Sanjana replied. Hello Ria,
I don' t know what to say..there is no words for me to express.I almost stoped coming to visit this site, since it used to give me nothing other than depression.Did you find out what really caused baby' s death??.AS Sups says watch the movie \" Secret\" ...I know it is hard..but there is no other ways to console ourselfs.Takecare my dear. SupS replied. Hi Ria,
I can understand totally your devastation.. nothing helps at this time.. I too have travelled this long road, dear. With several IVFs.. one going into OHSS, 2 failed, One ectopic and finally when we had reconciled with our situation and decided this would be our last attempt at IVF.. no more trying.. success.. the prgnancy too was very complicated and till the last minute I did not know if things would be OK. To add to this, my father was in his last stages of cancer, dying.. and I had to be by his side during this time.. I was 6 motnhs pregnant when I lost my father.. His dream of seeing my child was never realized. I too delivered a month early by C-section. My baby is now 7 months old. I have been through this roller coaster ride, the hoping, the anticipation, the prayers that this time the cycle would work...only to be shattered.. then months of getting over the trauma and then the whole cycle repeating again.
YOu know, RIA, I believe that staying positive helps and it really did in my case.. My hubby and I had decided before this last attempt that we would have that child in our arms, by hook or by crook. I God was not answering pur prayers for a biological child, we would adopt. We had filed our papers for adoption and were so ecstatic at the thought of welcoming a little one in our family.. We used to dream about the baby all the time, running around, playing in our house and these thoughts brought so much of positivity that it helped me in my IVF cycle too. We also went on a temple trip for 10 days, not to pray for a baby (which we knew we were going to have anyway), but just to gain the inner peace. Also, we saw this movie called \" The SEcret\" . (Its also a book) It has a beautiful message.. that if you want something very badly, dream of it, feel that you already have it and things will work out for you. I think that our little daugther (the one we were going to adopt) is the one responsilble for the joy in our life... We still hope to adopt a second child. Hope this has helped you..
My prayers are with you crk replied. God is creating some thing great for you.. I feel god will never ditch us
we all are with you dear RIA
urs
crk Anju replied. I can feel the pain you are going through. After waiting for 10 yrs when we are blessed with little flowers I can understand the happiness and the dreams you have gone through. After becoming a mother when it is snatched away it is one of the most painful fact. Try to build up courage. Words cannot heal your pain but time will definitely. Try to develop a hobby or try to get totally diverted from this fact. Do not think about this incident. Try to spend quality time with your husband and try to keep yourself busy and let me know how you feel. Where do you stay Anamika replied. Hi Ria,
I was totally shocked and shattered to hear this. After successful treatment and even giving birth to a baby this happened I am really crying while writing this. Maybe this is what is written in our destiny. No my dear I too have not succeeded till now. Its 12 yrs of my marriage now and 39 yrs of age I am now this time again registered for IVF treatment. I really don' t know what is in store for all of us. I am just hoping and praying everything goes well this time and I am atleast able to give my Parents this happiness this time. I really pray to God to give you strength in this time and yes no words can be enough to get over the pain and agony you are going through but surely if God has brought us to it HE will bring us through it thats what we keep hearing always.For sometime my dear i suggest you just divert your attention to something else which makes you happy.Offcourse its not easy to do as to say but still your health and happiness is most important at this time. God Bless You. sapna replied. i m v v sorry 2 hear ur story. tht god only will give u power 2 handle d situation. may god bless u....... afriend replied. Dear,
My heart goes out for u .I can understand the trauma bcoz i have also sailed in the same boat .Took lot of treatments for 9 years and now undergoing IVF treatment .
I am from delhi presently based in Chennai .A neighbour of mine who gave birth after 6th IVF attempt( 2 ended in miscarriage) told me abt this place called kumbakonam (abt 240 Km) from chennai where they do pooja for getting pregnant and for safe delivery .She herself went there when her 2 IVF ended in miscarriage .U get a prasad after pooja which u and ur hubby will have to eat for 48 days .
C i feel that both medicine and pooja work together .
There they give a book also which has shloKa for getting pregnant and for safe delivery (ladies who have repeated miscarriages also come there for pooja).One should chant them daily .
If u want i can give u the shloKa tomorrow .(it is in my home i am in my off. now) try chanting it evry day .Plus if personally u cannot go there for pooja then u can send them money (i think 100 rs.) they will send prasad at ur place .
I have a lot of faith in God and i feel that along with treatment it is necessary to pray also .
In my society another lady who had a similar case of still birth went for pooja there and after 2 years was blessed with a daughter and is now due for second one .
Dear if u want i can give u details tomorrow .
All my prayers are with u .
Afriend Anita replied. How devastating.....I don' t think there are any words that will console you at this moment. My cousin after 10 years of marriage and trying, got pregnant with twins through IVF. Gave birth - one died upon birth and the other girl died after 2 weeks. I still remember the actual moment when the world stopped for all of us. It is unimaginable. It took a long time for both her & her hubby but they have learned to live with it by focusing on other aspects of their life.

You will get through this. It will take a long time but you will. Take care of yourself and all our prayers are with you. Much love to you..... babu replied. hi i can understand ur feeling after 7 yrs of marriage and at 4th IVF i concieved triplets foetal reduction was done to twins i losts them at 20th week because of cervical incompetence.i was also devastated now i have accepted it thinking that it is gods will.u will also come out of it do meditation go for counselling .life has to go on