Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello, these days I am going through a big mental trauma. I belong to a middle class family. I have 16 months old baby. I have been balancing both professional and personal life well till now. I have been working since 8 years and I love my job. My husband has got an opportunity to get settled in USA but on H4 I cannot work there. I love my baby and husband but I love my career as well. I cannot decide where to move next... Mansi replied. Hi Gari, i would say shift to US with your husband. Take your kid as well you can put him in any day care and start working there as well so that you can balance your work life and family life. Hardika replied. The best way to get over mental stress is to take rest or a day or two off from work and stay home with your child. When you will do that you will notice what do you enjoy in your life. Jenny replied. See don't worry too much about it, i understand that you career is also important for you and you also can't leave your family for it so it is a very big confusion but do one thing, sit peacefully and think about it. Ashna replied. I understand that you are having a emotional breakdown because of everything happening in your life all of a sudden but you need to take a break from everything so that you can think clearly about what you want to do. NN replied. I think if the job opportunity for your husband in united states of america is nice then you should support him and take a break from your job and spend time with you family and when you go there you can find a job for yourself too. Alok replied. Hello gari,
It is the happy moment for you because you are moving for the next better step to increase your career i wish you would be happy and share the problem with your husband so that he will give you some solution to you. No Name replied. Hello Gari,
Why do you think it as an trauma it is the good news for you.Why don't you discuss it with your husband he will give you the best suggestion and you no need to get tensed.But what have you decided can you post an comment. Not real replied. Hi Sri,
Why do you think it as mental trauma, you need to develop in your life when life has given you chance to move abroad you can go there and you ask your husband that you are interested to do job convince him.Stay with your family only. No Name replied. Hello Gari sri,
In general you need to develop in your life so try to move for further in your life and how many days will you stay away from your family you ca ask your husband how can you improve further in your carrier he will be with you. sana replied. try to apply for the education there as you are unable to ffind the job eually as you are doing now here u will need education of that standard. so apply for education there and move there with husband when you finish your education there you also can find a job suitable for you there. Sia replied. I have been through similar situation. I quit my IT job 2.5 years back and moved with my Husband to US and my baby was 7 months at that time. It all depends on how is your equation with your husband. My husband always wanted to marry a working girl. That's what he always told me and always pushed me for excellence in carrier. He was on a visa where I could also work in us. But due to some circumstances it never happened. my son got some illness and we had to get him operated and could not put him in daycare any more. So I lost 1.5 year due to that. some or the other circumstances kept building up and I could never resume my job. we started fighting more. he started getting frustated because I was not working. It is difficult to take out time for studying or preparing for job interviews if you have small kid. Because there is no help available. No maids, no family to support n take care if kid. Finally I became so engrossed in the household stuff that I lost my interest and energy to find jobs. It has become a major issue between us now. He has become so used to of me taking care of household n baby stuff that he does not want to help at all. due to that I do not get time to study to get back in IT. we r always fighting. I wish he would adjust a bit more n help me out and give me some time and encourage me so that I can get back to work.

what I am trying to tell you is, USA can be a very lonely place if your spouse is not willing to help. If you know he is lazy type n you know that maids and you are doing all the household and baby stuff then you both are going to have some tough time here. with families not being around, you have just each other. If you know him well and you are confident that at least he is not going to fuss about you sitting home. Then you can take a call. And about you not wanting to quit job, if there is a will, there is a way. You could apply for your own H1 after coming here. Then u can work. Read about Obama modified bill to let H4 holders work. you never know whats going to happen next. May be staying off work for few months or 1 year is not so bad as it seems. Look at other options how you can get back to work after coming to US. If not immediately, they may be after some gap. All depends on your priorities now. It did not work for me that good because of sons health and my own lack of enthusiasm after some time. But it may work for you. Your husband might support you better and you might have zeal to work , more then me. May be luck supports n you get your own H1. Gud Luck. Do post your decision. Sheela replied. dont worry dear, some or the other way would have to be found out. you cannot get all things in life. you have to compromise on some or the other things in life. This is the reason it is called LIFE. if you love your hubby and kiddo, what more than that. i dont think you must think much.. go with them