Teenage is the phase during which children experience a havoc of emotional and physical changes in them. Therefore, parents must be sensitive to their feelings and be careful about what they say to them.
Teenage is considered then most volatile age in a person’s life. The children have grown up now; their mental and physical developments are almost complete. Teenagers begin to know the world intellectually. They try out new things, read and travel. This is the age that people form most of their opinions. This is also the time that they get to know the society they live in, its true face. Teenagers make big decisions like career choices.
Parents should have a friendly relationship with their teenage kids. Teenagers are very emotional so anything can hurt them very easily. Parents should not treat their children as kids anymore. They should respect and talk to them as equals. Yes, they should be scolded, but it must be done so as to not hurt them. It is a good idea if parents talk a lot to their teenage children and tell them about everything, the bad and good side of the world.
However, there are few things you should not say to them. Let us have look at such things.
1. “You are useless”
Teenagers begin to develop a sense of self and dignity. They start loving themselves. At this point parents must never at any point call them useless. You might not make a great deal out of it, but its hurts you teenager’s super ego.
2. “You can’t do that”
As parents you should definitely stop your kid from doing something that is not good for them. However, when dealing with teenagers do not just restrict them from something. Explain the reasons behind you restrictions.
3. “Your sibling is a better child”
Many parents have the typical mentality of comparing their kid’s performance with siblings, neighbours or relatives. Never do that, it crushes your child’s confidence. Soon they will start hiding marks and skipping tests without telling you.
4. “We wanted a boy/girl”
There have been cases where parents are telling their children that they wanted a child of the opposite sex. This is extremely cruel thing to say to your child. Remember that your child by now loves you fully and consciously. If you start telling them negative things, they will lose their love for you.
Teenage is the time that people try out new things. They try to find their identity by trying out different ways of dressing. They participate and try to learn new things. So if your kid is say, part of a rock band, do not criticize him or her about it. You should be liberal about your teenagers. Constantly criticising them may even lead to depression in them.
6. Question them About Every Detail
It is okay to ask your children question about where they have been or what they had been doing. But the questions should not be nineteen to the dozen. Your kid should not feel like they are a criminal being grilled about information. It will result in them ignoring you.
7. What Privacy?
Your teenage kids need privacy. They wish to read something quietly or listen to a bit of music. Teenagers love to be by themselves. Do not say things like, what privacy, you do not need privacy, etc.
8. Scream at Them
Teenagers are very vulnerable emotionally. You should at all cost abstain from screaming at them. Stop overreacting about everything. Deal with things calmly. It will actually bring better results if you reason with your teenager.
Verbal abuse at any age is emotionally damaging. Kids themselves become either violent or withdrawn because of abuse. Treat your teenager with respect.
10. “You Are a kid”
It is really not a good idea to keep telling your teenager that they are still a kid. It makes them lose their sense of self. Treat them as teenagers.
At every stage of development you must be careful your child. What you think was a casual reprimand might have grave consequences later.
What kinds of issues are common in teenagers? How should parents deal with teenagers? What should parents keep in mind while talking to teenagers? Discuss here.
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- The Indiaparenting Team