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Teen Issues Topics..

 
You are here : home > Teen Issues > Dating > The First Crush

The First Crush

During teen years every child starts showing interest in an opposite gender. Your teenager too may soon have her first crush. How will you deal with it when the time comes? Read on to find out how to deal with your child when he or she starts showing interest in opposite sex.


Often when parents realize that their child has now started showing interest in the opposite sex, they try to do all they can to quell such interest. Needless to say, when your child gets distracted by thoughts of that cute boy in her class, she's not going to get a whole lot of studying done. This is what often worries parents, who feel that children should focus on their studies at this stage. Love is for later.

However, logical as this may seem, things don't always go according to plan. But how you deal with your child's first crush will largely set the tone for everything else that is to follow.

Did your child reveal her crush to you herself, or did you find out from others, or by overhearing her conversations with friends? Perhaps you stumbled upon a revealing SMS or two. Instead of lashing out at her, ask yourself why she did not come to you with her thoughts. Are you too strict a parent? Did she know you were going to disapprove?


Communicate

Understand that your child will have crushes, whether you like them or not. Such crushes will form a large part of your child's growing years. Short of taking her out of school or limiting her access to all members of the opposite sex - which would be extremely unhealthy by the way - there is little you can do to prevent this from happening. It is better if you try and be a friend to your child. This way you are assured of her confidence at least through her teens.


Attention

Don't dismiss her comments as nonsense. If she says she is in love, don't say, "Rubbish, you don't even know the meaning of the word." Teenagers hurt just as much when they have a crush, as any adult. Instead, ask her to tell you about him and get her to be open with you. You could then even give her advice on how she can and should ensure she gets the respect she deserves by not chasing him, not giving him 'blank calls' and so on.

Many adults who fall in love, get married and then opt for a divorce too suddenly realize that perhaps they were never in love at all. So take your child's words seriously or she may stop coming to you and prefer talking to friends.


Dating

You could also then set limits for dating, which could range to disallowing it completely to allowing it after your child reaches a certain age. Each family has its own sets of rules in this regard. Some children meet members of the opposite sex without their parents knowledge, and they may indulge in activities they later regret. But if you are an understanding parent, chances are, they will draw the line where you tell them to, as they know they have your trust and would rather not abuse it.

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6 Comments
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Tribhuvan Ram.4 years ago
the first crush is hard to forget and this is at a time when the hormones are raging. Parents have to be extremely careful when dealing with first crush of their kids. One wrong step can be detrimental.
 
 
 
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sarah ahmad.7 years ago
the article deals on a natural subject in an apt manner.its the right time to be the best friend of your child.believe me its very satisfying. the child constantly needs to know that he/she is special and whatever is happening is perfectly normal.the first strong feeling of growing up as asexual identity is being established.so parents need to be very patient and careful during this stage .
 
 
 
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Anisha Nayyar.7 years ago
this article is very right as well as consoling. teenage is very distracting and need to be handled in an apt way. parents are really helpers only when they understand the feelings or else they appear wrong to their child. so, take this naturally and in a positive manner.
 
 
 
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