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You are here Home > Love and Relationships > Articles

  Why do people Cheat?- by Editor

Only a person who has been cheated upon knows the real meaning of cheating. Read on to find why people cheat and learn to deal with it.


Anita was engaged to Shubh for about a year. Since a month Anita was feeling that the space between them was widening. The phone calls lessened, there was no excitement for meeting each other and Shubh would usually tell her that he is overworked and cannot give her much time.

Once out of the blue during their usual meetings Shubh confessed to her that he did not want to be with Anita and he loved somebody else. Anita was shocked. Her world came crashing down. She could not believe it was happening to her.

The first question that popped in her head, that was already spinning with a million allegations, blames and curses, was why did he do it to her? Cheating stories are often heard and it is experienced by many. Logically, cheating happens because people have a lot of choices and freedom. Individuals want more and may feel that they are getting less. Some people might cheat simply for the thrill of being with different people. People do what makes them happy and cheating may be a way to seeking happiness.


Why do people cheat?

Whenever you get cheated, you are too unhappy, disappointed or very angry. Cheating can get as serious as sinning. The partner who has been cheated may scream, plan vicious things against his partner, remember the past or simply hate his or her ex. But giving thought to why your girlfriend or boyfriend has cheated on you can help you see facts clearly and handle yourself better.

When a person cheats on you it has not happened in a day. It takes some time for it to happen. There may be a million reasons why your partner gave into cheating. The most important reason for somebody cheating is, not being happy with the relationship or is simply tempted to get into another relation due to emotional or physical needs. A person may simply form a comfort level with someone else and the 'feel good' factor may be very hard to give up. For example, you see a half-filled glass of water either half full or half empty. It is debatable whether your partner wants more from a relationship or is getting less. Usually people cheat because they want and expect more.

There may be many things that you might be doing that could make your partner insecure, pressurised or feel that you are not the person he or she wants to be with. Check what you may have done that has pushed your partner to cheat on you. You may be doing everything you can for your partner and may be that is the reason he sees no challenge in being with you.

It may happen that after spending some time one partner may feel that it is not working out and may start looking around for somebody else. While you may want to give it another chance your wife may have found somebody else whom she relates to and feels will be happier with.


What a cheating partner can go through

Although you may feel your partner is an ugly monster or whatever name you may call him or her, even he or she is scared of what is happening. It may be very difficult for him to break the news to you and deal with an upcoming break-up. He might even be feeling guilty of cheating you, if you have never caused him harm, mistreated him or loved him dearly.

Sometimes he or she may not even label what they have done as cheating. She may claim to have found true love somewhere else. Somebody who has cheated on you may feel guilty all his life for hurting you.


Can Cheating be prevented?

Every relationship is different and for each individual the reasons for cheating may differ. While you cannot stop somebody from cheating, you can definitely do a lot for your relationship. A relationship built on a weak foundation does not last very long. So always work on a few basics like these.

  • Know your partner better. Talk to each other
  • Avoid being possessive
  • Communicate, share and discuss instead of giving ultimatums
  • Avoid changing yourself for your partner
  • Learn to say no
  • Avoid being clingy. Give your partner some breathing space
  • Feel and look your best. You are being noticed all the time
  • Avoid being insecure. It shows that you do not trust your partner
  • Have a life of your own too. Make new friends and have fun
  • Be okay with being alone sometimes
  • Avoid making endless calls and texting
  • Pursue a hobby. Write a journal
  • Take pride in your self-esteem
Remember, that all of us seek happiness. Would you like being with a person who is happy or a dull soul who is always on the verge of crying? Only a happy person can give others happiness. If you want your partner to be loyal to you, it is important to create a relationship with the right balance to give and receive love.

A relationship is like a plant that needs care and attention to grow well. Pay no attention and it will wither away. Give too much of what you have and it will surely be difficult to manage. Relationships become stronger with what you give them everyday. In your daily acts shower love and sprinkle some attention and you will be proud of what you have grown over the years.


What to do when somebody cheats on you

You have discovered that your husband is cheating on you and you are shattered. How could he do that? When your partner breaks the news to you, you feel like screaming, crying, telling him that he has made a wrong choice and it is not correct to do so. You curse your partner and swear that you will make him regret his decision and slap him if he ever comes back to you. You plan to hurt his new partner because she is equally bad and stole away what was yours.

You even think of having an affair yourself and show him that you are far happier than him and enjoying life without him. These can be really dangerous choices if you are considering them. Here are some ways that can help you react to a cheating partner better.

  • Avoid screaming or crying. Though you may be ready to burst into tears any moment
  • Stay calm. You want to slap him for using you but relax
  • Avoid emotional blackmailing
  • Let go. It is the best thing to do
  • Ask why he chose somebody else very calmly
  • Avoid asking for second chances
  • Consult a psychiatrist if you are falling under depression
  • Avoid hacking e-mail accounts
  • Avoid spreading malicious gossip about him
  • Love yourself. Avoid making your life a tale of misery
  • Avoid getting into an affair immediately
  • Be strong. Stop feeling sorry for yourself
  • Avoid calling and sms after that
  • Avoid showing people your broken heart
  • Take help for coping with a break-up
  • Avoid displaying your problems in public
Each partner has a choice to remain or not to remain in a relationship. It is only by choice that two people form a relationship. Respect your partner's choice. If you cannot tolerate two timing decide what you want to do about it.

Always give time to yourself. You can cry as much as you want but not in front of your partner. Share what you feel with a close trustworthy friend. Stop trying to prove that you are enjoying life. Just be yourself, who knows you might meet somebody better. Chances are that your partner may come back. Then it is your choice if you want them in your life or no. Being cheated may affect your personality but never allow yourself to feel inferior.

Life takes a complete 360 degrees turn sometimes. If your partner cheats on you, just find why he or she has done so and move on with life because you are worth a lot more.


Have you ever been cheated? Have you cheated on somebody? How did you deal with yourself when you were cheated? To share your views and experiences, click here.

 
Feedback on article
Name: Seema Goswami
City:   Mumbai
Comments:   I know for a fact that my husband has been cheating on me. I have traced him and discovered a lot about his affair. Ours was a love marriage and I fail to understand why he is cheating on me? I think I can now think that may be I stopped being his girlfriend and slowly became his mother. It could be one of the many reasons. I am sure in some days he is going to tell me about it. So I am just wondering how am I going to deal with it. I surely do not want a divorce. And I know what he is doing is not correct. I am angry disappointed and restless. Earlier, when I used to read stories about cheating I would be shocked. Today it is happening to me. When I see celebrities breaking up, cheating etc, I really empathise with their spouses as to what they must be feeling, that we with so much attention on their relationships. But I guess, if the inevitable happens I am going to let go and just move on.

 

Name: Rahim Hasan
City:   UP
Comments:   My girl friend and I broke off three months back. I was the one who broke off. It was a three year old relationship. We were so much in love. But lately she had been talking about marriage and told me that she might marry someone else if I didn’t marry her in some months. I was really under pressure. And in those months I met a girl who just clicked with me. She was carefree and attracted to me. I did not know when I grew close to her and far from my girl friend. I used to hardly meet my girl and this girl would freak out with our group almost everyday. We really grew fond of each other and soon I asked her out. I gathered a lot of courage to tell my girl friend. My girl friend had somehow figured out that something was wrong. She could see through me. I was really scared and guilty but I pushed the break up on her and asked her to end the relation. She tried to convince me but I never budged. After six months my present girl friend told me that she sees no future with me. I am truly regretting what I did to my exgirlfriend who loved me dearly and did recognize my temporary needs of being with someone carefree. Today I want to marry my girlfriend but I am not sure if she will ever take me back.

 

Name: Divya Khote
City:   Mumbai
Comments:   I saw my boyfriend´ s picture with another girl in his mobile. It did not look like a casual picture. The snap appeared romantic. They were really close. I could not hold my curiosity and checked his inbox for sms. In the saved sms I found some really lovey dovey sms. His replies to the sms were in the sent box and I could not believe my eyes. I was shattered. We had gone out to a cafĂ© a day before and here I was seeing him with another girl. It killed. I did not know what to do. Where would I begin from? Everything in a minute had come down to zero. All our promises of love were meaningless suddenly and I suddenly hated him, was hurt and had a million questions. I confronted him two days after that. I spoke to his girlfriend too and she accepted that they were going around and that he was not happy with me and that it was not her problem if my relationship was into trouble. My boyfriend never spoke up. All he told me was to forget him and forgive. I am still wondering what to do. I still feel like calling him and speaking to him. I am dying to get back my life to normal.

 

Name: dipak
City:   rajkot
Comments:   i have come to know so many things through this article which i didn´ t know.thanx

 

Name: pooja
City:   delhi
Comments:   my husband has been cheating on me fo rlast 89 months.i came to know about his fist affair afte when it was thee month old i talked to my husband about it and he said i am sory ,i love you ,i regret,i wont do that again and i trusted him but later on i found that he was still going on with that girl again i warned him and during this time i got pregnent. i caied this baby jus to save our relationship.now i am 6 months pregnent and i found taht my husbband relation with that girl is still going on and he is havinf=g relationship with some other girls too he even slept with a call girl and when i asked about all this he blamed me for everything ,he slapped me , he hit me badly and thn he said i am sorry but i jus love you.i dnt knw wat to do but i feel vey insecure and i am such a asituation that i cannt do anything.

 

Name: Violet
City:   Muncie
Comments:   My girlfriend of a year and half cheated on me. She was jealous of me all the time. We talked about her jealousy. I continued to tell her that i wanted her to trust me. My fear was that she would cheat because i know that people who are jealous for the most part don´ t trust themself´ s.

 

Name: jeff
City:   Lagos
Comments:   my partner is cheating on me. she stoped caring and she avaiods me a lot of times. she acts like she hates me. i feel am loosing my mind and my lungs feels very hot and uneasy as if am dying. can you help i still love her more than ever before. thanks jeff

 

Name: aaki
City:   rajkot
Comments:   muje bat karna bhot achha lagata he

 

Name: nassim
City:   singapore
Comments:   my husband is cheating on me and i haven´ t got the chance to talk to him frankly i am afraid to speak about it to him too afraid to see his reaction and not knowing waht to do after that i hv prove like photo of the girl phone bills travelling to other country he has a new phone out of my knowledge i really need advise as to how to handle this i am a person or verbal abuse my marriage is 18 years old pls advise

 

Name: sasha glenn
City:   Eupora
Comments:   I found some underwear in my husband´ s range rover. I knew they weren´ t mine because I don´ t wear thongs. Should I confront him or let it go. I also notice late at night he puts his cellphone on silent. If someone does call he walks downstairs and talks for hours at a time. What should I do.

 

Name: anonymous
City:   lahore
Comments:   I dont know thats cheating or not. But I am married for past 2years and married the same person whom i loved. i am very happy with my married life but ... I met someone and we are very good friends. however for past few days, this person is not behaving the same way as he used to earlier. there is no relationship or committment from any side. I know we both are committed to our partners and want it to be that way. But he is just not getting off my mind, i want to know why he is not the way he used to, why is he ignoring me? I am not able to focus on my married life and feeling guilty of doing something wrong. Can you please suggest me what should I do? I need mental piece.

 

Name: kelif
City:   hyderbad
Comments:   i had never done cheating but recently i should do for certain reasoning because a couple of years ago i had good relationship a girl and finally i fall in love with her. when i informed that i have some feeling about her she accepted as a partner.but it appears that she is pretending according her behaviour. she never cares me no compromise and trust at all. simply she says i love you, I love her too much but i dont want so longer this kind of relationship.so how can i convince her i am seeking your suggestion.

 

Name: km
City:   secret
Comments:   My GF always cheats on me, i always forgive her..coz i though someday she wud change,,, but she keeps on doin it,, ryt now shes with someone else again,, wat am i suposed to do??shud i stil wait??i really love her and thats the reason why all this years ive been ignoring the pain everytime she cheats,, weve been together for 3yrs and ive caught her cheated 6 times,, who knws how many times she really had been cheating on me..what wud i do so that shed stop cheating on me..coz its so painful just seing her with some other guy..

 

Name: sukhvinder
City:   mohali
Comments:   i was in an emotional affair with a girl because i felt my wife did not love me. i have left that girl but my wife is still not happy. i am sick of her and want to go back to my girl now.

 

Name: mahesh
City:   mumbai
Comments:   i got married 12 yrs back with 2 children, 5 yrs back she cheated me & that day onward i started living separately,2 yrs back i fall in love she also loved me lot & she is aware of previous life, 6 month back she told me that her X Boy friend ditch her 2 yrs back & he is now return & he convince her, now she is confuse whom she should get married,,she is meeting both of us..till date..what to do ?

 

Name: jen
City:   mandaluyong
Comments:   my husband cheated had so many girls but this is the first time that he really fell inlove with somebody. i already caught him after 2months of knowing nothing because he kept on denying it. we are married and we have 4kids. after him being caught, he never ended their relationship. but he told me he still loves me and love the girl too. now im torn. dont know what to do. usually guys, after being caught, will end their relationship immediately. i really dont know what to do.. should i leave him that way? anyway, the girl doesn´ t know that were still together bcoz everything she knows is a lie. she thought we were legally separated and im just coming by to take care of the kids.its so hard to explain what kind situation im in right now. shes living just 2 streets away. i can walk from here to reach her. i tried to talk to her but my husband wont allow me to becoz hes afraid that i might tell her the truth. my husband is so afraid of losing her. i dont know what´ s got into him.. until now, every night he goes there.. what shud i do?

 

Name: tina
City:   delhi
Comments:   it feels really sick reading aa this

 

Name: tb
City:   jamaica
Comments:   I have been cheated on recently. I didn´ t end the relationship because I knew it was partly my fault. We are still together.

 

Name: naveen garg
City:   ludhiana
Comments:   there was a girl,the saw i moment her i knew she´ s d one.i gave her a lot frm muh side buh after two years she ditchd meh nd it hurts a lott after den i smoked a lott olways crying still same position i have pls help meh out dat how to get out from ds all matter!!

 

Name: bongiwe
City:   johannesburg
Comments:   i have been cheated on and everytime i found out i never really confronted him even when i knew it was true, i was scared of his reaction as he always had a way of turning the blame on me.i never cheated on him ,iv always been the good girlfriend and gave him everything he wanted and needed.late november last year he confessed and appologised for meking my life a misery,i forgave him in words as i never wanted to talk about it.i haunts me everyday and i dont even know how to deal with it

 

Name: bongiwe
City:   johannesburg
Comments:   i have been going out with my"boyfriend" for almost 3years, he has been cheating on me nd everytime i found out i never really confronted him even when i knew it was true, i was scared of his reaction as he always had a way of turning the blame on me.i never cheated on him ,iv always been the good girlfriend and gave him everything he wanted and needed.late november last year he confessed and appologised for making my life a misery,i forgave him in words as i never wanted to talk about it.it haunts me everyday and i dont even know how to deal with it.PLZ HELP

 

Name: bamarazorback
City:   Russellville
Comments:   My wife left me for a married man. He left his family too! what are the odds thier relationship will last?

 

Name: nicholas
City:   carapichaima
Comments:   i had bin cheated on an when i catch her she was in shock, lying an sayin that´ z her friend, before she did that she text me an ask me where i am i sad am home, an after the she never call or text, she went to do he thing,,,,, wat should i do

 

Name: Hema(ammu)
City:   india
Comments:   i have been cheated on and every time i found out i never really confronted him even when i knew it was true. I have been cheated on recently. i hate love.

 

Name: patricia
City:   ellicott city
Comments:   yes, i have someone in my life that cheats. Sometimes he is the must discussing person to me when I think of his habits!! I am really angry with myself for not leaving the relationship.

 

Name: sonu
City:   kolkata
Comments:   I have been cheated on recently.i have someone in my life that cheats. Sometimes he is the must discussing person to me when I think of his habits!! I am really angry with myself for not leaving the relationship.

 

Name: ameya
City:   mumbai
Comments:   PEOPLE IF YOU HAVE ANY ISSUES THEN PLEASE MAIL ME. I MIGHT HELP YOU ALL.

 

Name: lovely
City:   gujrat
Comments:   i have been cheated on recently from my husband,and what hurts me alot,is he cheated on me after 22 years of marriege,and have three beautifull kids,it has torn me apart,dont know what to do,

 

Name: yasik
City:   rajkot
Comments:   i....love.

 

Name: madhuri
City:   pune
Comments:   i met a person in online. and our relationship carried over in phone & e chat. he showered me a lov which can still feel tat ill never get again from anyone even from ma mother too. but after the told me he cant marry me coz of his family. few months back i came aware tat he having a relationship with som1 for a long period. she is lving nearby. but he refused. later he accepted. but no ive cheated again he gonna marry tat girl. he ditched me tat he is not happy with me.to just give a reason.

 

Name: virendra
City:   pune
Comments:   I am viru. i lick good friends. i work G.k.N in pune.

 

Name: Sreyas
City:   Vadodra
Comments:   I frendship for girl

 

Name: ADARSH
City:   bangalore
Comments:   good i am in porblem pls help me

 

Name: honey
City:   karimnagar
Comments:   love is trash

 

Name: bharti jadhav
City:   satara
Comments:   Is it worth to cheat a person who loves you and cares for you the most.I would like to say that no other person in a man´ s life can bring joy and happiness other than your own wife and that is a bet.When you are happy you desire to be with her and as soon as something strange happens you remember your wife.I dont no what a person might be getting after doing this.

 

Name: Nevermore
City:   Oklahoma
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Name: Maddy
City:   Chennai
Comments:   God is looking at everyone, those who cheats will pay the penality. Noting more to talk.

 

Name: sidharth
City:   hardwar
Comments:   i ws in love wd a grl we wr in so much strong love nd 1 day she said im going 2 gve exem in delhi i said ok she did talk bt nt lyk b4 nd strange her phone off i did calls many tym bt off again nd again thn 1 day i go to her home thn i lsn she did married wd a prsn i feel so much hurt help me

 

Name: sidharth
City:   hardwar
Comments:   she cheated me nd hurted me so much i did cried many days thn aftr 1 nd helf mnth she did call me nd said again love u nd wanna marry me thn nxt day she showz attitute nd dnt say sry on tht she cheat nd said i dnt wanna talk wd u nd ill nt come on my home also i hav some proff about her i wanna gve her punishmeant nd show ppl its bad 2 cheat any1 i want help frm ppl cheated wd prtner help me.. is my id help..

 

Name: Peter Wiener
City:   Wienerville
Comments:  

 

Name: rajwinder
City:   mumbai
Comments:   my gf chtd me..she is nt redy to rely me atall.i msg nd cll her bt no response ....so wat shld i do nw.

 

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Name: rtyecript
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Name: jerry
City:   Mumbai
Comments:   i agree with u maddy...u seem to be seriously awesme..

 

Name: sonu
City:   bangalore
Comments:  

 

Name: satish
City:   bangalore
Comments:   i love her lot and she too loves Me. 2days she wil be fine and shows lot of love care. Next 15days she avoids me by giving d reason that i m not settled. Dono what is in her mind.? Pls let Me know. Help me yaar. And Let me tel you. She only proposed me first.

 

Name: satish
City:   bangalore
Comments:   i love her lot and she too loves Me. 2days she wil be fine and shows lot of love care. Next 15days she avoids me by giving d reason that i m not settled. Dono what is in her mind.? Pls let Me know. Help me yaar. And Let me tel you. She only proposed me first.

 

Name: Bhakar
City:   Navi Mumbai
Comments:   My Name is Bhaskar Bhattacharya & I Love Ujjawala from past 4 years but i am too much abnormal & angry man. I cheated her. I am hiding my marriage from her.But Still and forever i love her I want she back with me for longtime. I do anything for her I want to marry with Ujjawala & live with her. She is my life. I can´ t live without her. I am giving divorse to madhumita & joined relationship with Ujjawala forever. I made only for Ujjawala. Bhaskar Loves Only Ujjawala.

 

 
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