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Why do people Cheat?

-by Editor

Only a person who has been cheated upon knows the real meaning of cheating. Read on to find why people cheat and learn to deal with it.

Anita was engaged to Shubh for about a year. Since a month Anita was feeling that the space between them was widening. The phone calls lessened, there was no excitement for meeting each other and Shubh would usually tell her that he is overworked and cannot give her much time.

Once out of the blue during their usual meetings Shubh confessed to her that he did not want to be with Anita and he loved somebody else. Anita was shocked. Her world came crashing down. She could not believe it was happening to her.

The first question that popped in her head, that was already spinning with a million allegations, blames and curses, was why did he do it to her? Cheating stories are often heard and it is experienced by many. Logically, cheating happens because people have a lot of choices and freedom. Individuals want more and may feel that they are getting less. Some people might cheat simply for the thrill of being with different people. People do what makes them happy and cheating may be a way to seeking happiness.

Why do people cheat?

Whenever you get cheated, you are too unhappy, disappointed or very angry. Cheating can get as serious as sinning. The partner who has been cheated may scream, plan vicious things against his partner, remember the past or simply hate his or her ex. But giving thought to why your girlfriend or boyfriend has cheated on you can help you see facts clearly and handle yourself better.

When a person cheats on you it has not happened in a day. It takes some time for it to happen. There may be a million reasons why your partner gave into cheating. The most important reason for somebody cheating is, not being happy with the relationship or is simply tempted to get into another relation due to emotional or physical needs. A person may simply form a comfort level with someone else and the 'feel good' factor may be very hard to give up. For example, you see a half-filled glass of water either half full or half empty. It is debatable whether your partner wants more from a relationship or is getting less. Usually people cheat because they want and expect more.

There may be many things that you might be doing that could make your partner insecure, pressurised or feel that you are not the person he or she wants to be with. Check what you may have done that has pushed your partner to cheat on you. You may be doing everything you can for your partner and may be that is the reason he sees no challenge in being with you.

It may happen that after spending some time one partner may feel that it is not working out and may start looking around for somebody else. While you may want to give it another chance your wife may have found somebody else whom she relates to and feels will be happier with.

What a cheating partner can go through

Although you may feel your partner is an ugly monster or whatever name you may call him or her, even he or she is scared of what is happening. It may be very difficult for him to break the news to you and deal with an upcoming break-up. He might even be feeling guilty of cheating you, if you have never caused him harm, mistreated him or loved him dearly.

Sometimes he or she may not even label what they have done as cheating. She may claim to have found true love somewhere else. Somebody who has cheated on you may feel guilty all his life for hurting you.

Can Cheating be prevented?

Every relationship is different and for each individual the reasons for cheating may differ. While you cannot stop somebody from cheating, you can definitely do a lot for your relationship. A relationship built on a weak foundation does not last very long. So always work on a few basics like these.

  • Know your partner better. Talk to each other
  • Avoid being possessive
  • Communicate, share and discuss instead of giving ultimatums
  • Avoid changing yourself for your partner
  • Learn to say no
  • Avoid being clingy. Give your partner some breathing space
  • Feel and look your best. You are being noticed all the time
  • Avoid being insecure. It shows that you do not trust your partner
  • Have a life of your own too. Make new friends and have fun
  • Be okay with being alone sometimes
  • Avoid making endless calls and texting
  • Pursue a hobby. Write a journal
  • Take pride in your self-esteem
Remember, that all of us seek happiness. Would you like being with a person who is happy or a dull soul who is always on the verge of crying? Only a happy person can give others happiness. If you want your partner to be loyal to you, it is important to create a relationship with the right balance to give and receive love.

A relationship is like a plant that needs care and attention to grow well. Pay no attention and it will wither away. Give too much of what you have and it will surely be difficult to manage. Relationships become stronger with what you give them everyday. In your daily acts shower love and sprinkle some attention and you will be proud of what you have grown over the years.

What to do when somebody cheats on you

You have discovered that your husband is cheating on you and you are shattered. How could he do that? When your partner breaks the news to you, you feel like screaming, crying, telling him that he has made a wrong choice and it is not correct to do so. You curse your partner and swear that you will make him regret his decision and slap him if he ever comes back to you. You plan to hurt his new partner because she is equally bad and stole away what was yours.

You even think of having an affair yourself and show him that you are far happier than him and enjoying life without him. These can be really dangerous choices if you are considering them. Here are some ways that can help you react to a cheating partner better.

  • Avoid screaming or crying. Though you may be ready to burst into tears any moment
  • Stay calm. You want to slap him for using you but relax
  • Avoid emotional blackmailing
  • Let go. It is the best thing to do
  • Ask why he chose somebody else very calmly
  • Avoid asking for second chances
  • Consult a psychiatrist if you are falling under depression
  • Avoid hacking e-mail accounts
  • Avoid spreading malicious gossip about him
  • Love yourself. Avoid making your life a tale of misery
  • Avoid getting into an affair immediately
  • Be strong. Stop feeling sorry for yourself
  • Avoid calling and sms after that
  • Avoid showing people your broken heart
  • Take help for coping with a break-up
  • Avoid displaying your problems in public
Each partner has a choice to remain or not to remain in a relationship. It is only by choice that two people form a relationship. Respect your partner's choice. If you cannot tolerate two timing decide what you want to do about it.

Always give time to yourself. You can cry as much as you want but not in front of your partner. Share what you feel with a close trustworthy friend. Stop trying to prove that you are enjoying life. Just be yourself, who knows you might meet somebody better. Chances are that your partner may come back. Then it is your choice if you want them in your life or no. Being cheated may affect your personality but never allow yourself to feel inferior.

Life takes a complete 360 degrees turn sometimes. If your partner cheats on you, just find why he or she has done so and move on with life because you are worth a lot more.

Have you ever been cheated? Have you cheated on somebody? How did you deal with yourself when you were cheated? To share your views and experiences, click here.

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Feedback on article

Name: raj
City:   delhi
Comments:   Love your partner but Don´t be too attached to your the secret of a healthy relationship.believe or not.

Name: gowtham
City:   ERODE
Comments:   Wen I cl my gf c just talk to me for few seconds, after tat c´l talking with someone other guy I can´t accept dis. I asked her abt tat bt c didn´t tl anything n always hide tat with me. Den later I found tat c is talking with a guy who wrk wit her. I feel depressed wt Cn I do to solve dis problem? I love her so much.

Name: melisa
City:   Kuala Lumpur
Comments:   cheating your spouse is a SIN, please do not cheat and curse yourself with the SIN.

Name: Pratik
City:   mumbai
Comments:   cheat

Name: preeti
City:   delhi
Comments:   kindly share the identity your boy friends so that they people never do again with another girl

Name: alisha
City:   mangaluru
Comments:   Please people dont cheating girls n boys really I beg u

Name: nidhi
City:   delhi
Comments:   nice

Name: Shalini
City:   Delhi
Comments:   Nice one

Name: faith
City:   Delta
Comments:   i wuld like to advice u if a person pretend that him/her prented that they don like u that a lied the more d person behave d more they like u inside.

Name: cliff barendse
City:   johannesburg
Comments:   I have been cheated on. And my point is the reason why I find it hard to forget is that my X just had a misscarraige and we had lost our baby. And not even a 2 weeks I´m sure she met this dude. And she left me for him. I was so inlove. Cos I wanted a child and she said that´s what she wants from me. I forgive her I´m not a hateful person. But how do woman like that lived with what she break someones heart and disrespect him her. ? I need a relationship with God. And let him fill and put me back together. But I will rarther be alone. To be unhappy

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