For women, crying is an art form. They sob with their hearts hanging on their sleeves and tears running down their cheeks. Yes, when it comes to the battle of the sexes, this is one thing women undisputedly do so much better than men.
The fact is, women, on an average, cry five times more than men. And
men For most of them 'crying' constitutes little more than a welling up
Why don't most men cry?
Men have a difficult time expressing their feelings, especially when
it comes to crying. Most men from the time they were boys, are taught that
crying is a feminine characteristic seen as a sign of weakness. So while
I cried every morning as a child when my hair was being tugged and pulled
into a neat ponytail, my brother would swallow his tears even when he fell
hard and skinned his knee.
What are tears?
Tears are of three types: continuous, reflex and emotional. Continuous tears are the ones which just flow to lubricate your eyes, or when you're sleepy and yawn. Reflex tears are those which are in response to irritants like smoke, onion vapors or foreign bodies. Emotional tears are by far the most complex. They can be stemmed by happiness, sadness, anger, stress or any other deep emotion. Not only that, but they differ in chemical composition from reflex tears - and have as much as 20 percent more protein. (But unless you're going to literally swallow your tears - the extra protein is not going to be of much use.) Then of course, there are the
These are the kind most often shed by children, who don't stop their
tears even when they are able to, in order to gain sympathy from others.
So can tears be manipulative Maybe, but of all emotions, they are the
purest. You as you have no control over when you weep and when you don't.
True, you may be able to curb your crying to an extent, but you don't have
Tears are the human body's manner of easing the pain. Tears help you
'let it all out' and are a kind of cleansing process. They give a physical
outlet for feelings, and shift your attention from your thoughts to your
bodies. Most people say they feel better after a good cry. Crying helps
release all the tension, anxiety and frustrations of life. It feels great
to relieve yourself of the hurt without being destructive. Also, crying
stimulates the release of endorphins, chemicals in the brain that have
mood-elevating effects and help you feel better.
Helps garner support�
A large part of how you feel after crying depends on how others reacted
to your tears. If you start crying during an argument and your opponent
stayed unmoved or mocked you further, you end up feeling worse, but if
you gain emotional support, you feel better. When you cry you acknowledge
the fact that things are not okay - you are helpless, vulnerable and just
want to be held. Whether that 'being held' happens or not would determine
how you feel after crying.
Brings about emotional development for men
By crying, men grow to develop a much better understanding of emotions.
They learn to accept and share feelings with their family. By coming to
terms with their need to cry they now have a better understanding of other
people's feelings, and it may even enhance their relationship with their
wife and children. So put the macho stuff on hold for a while guys. Sometimes
when you just have to let the tears flow, go ahead. Have a good cry. You're
only human after all.
'Cry, and you cry alone'
Nothing can be further from the truth. There are so many people out
there who just have to look in the direction of someone crying, and their
eyes well up with tears. The Titanic was not known as a tear-jerker for
nothing. One look at Rose's devastated face when Jack sinks into the water
elicited a welling in the eyes from even the most hardened heart. On the
other hand, many people do cry alone - literally. There's a lot of stigma
attached to portraying yourself as being weak and vulnerable, especially
for men, and often the presence of others inhibits crying.
Crying is not a solution
Crying may ease the pain, but no matter how much you cry, you can't wish the cause of your tears away. No amount of crying will get back your lost love, take you back in time so your child passes that exam or bring you a promotion. What crying does is help you express your pain and indulge in a few moments - or hours - or days - of self pity. You accept your vulnerabilities as human beings, and by doing so you regain strength to wipe the tears away, open your eyes, lift your heads, and move on.
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