Mother can get a little relief if their husbands provide help and support in parenting regimen. Although, many dads are actively involved in parenting, some dads do not even know ‘P’ of parenting. Here is how mothers can help husbands help them in raising kids.
Many mothers complain that their husbands are not adequately involved in the parenting process. There are many ways in which you can encourage your partner to become a more involved and a more supporting father. These simple tips will empower you to wean your partner slowly into the role of a supportive and involved father. Allow your Husband to get Involved in the Parenting Process
Having babies intrinsically changes women. Mothers are so attached to their child especially if they are breastfeeding that it is difficult for them to allow a third person (even if it is the father) into the mother child ecosystem. The way a father handles children is a little different from the way a mother handles them but the involvement of both parents is required to bring up a healthy child in a loving caring atmosphere. As a mother you should encourage your partner to pick up the child, croon, bounce and coo to him or her. This is how he will get involved in the parenting process and this will be what motivates him to grow into a supportive involved father. Allow your Partner Some Space in the First Few Months
There is nothing more damaging to a man’s psychology than the feeling that they are not able to help or contribute in a meaningful way in a significant sphere of life. With a newborn child there is really not much that a father can do in the first place as the mother is the one who feeds babies, hangs diapers and gently lulls them to sleep.
Many men take their non contribution negatively and think that they have failed at being a dad. It is your job as a mother to assure him that this is not so. Make him understand that the early phases of the baby’s life often belongs more to the mother and while your partner is free to take some time off, he is also equally welcome into the circle of love. Give Your partner Defined Jobs
Men and women are wired differently and as a woman you need to remember that. It is not enough to tell your partner “please look after the baby while I do xyz tasks”. Your partner will not automatically know what looking after a baby means. Your partner will probably feel confused in the beginning as there are no defined set of tasks for him to act upon. The way to interact with him is to say that he needs to read to the baby from 4 to 4.30, take the baby for a bath at 7.00 a.m. and read to the baby at 7.15 again before arranging for a snack at 9.30.
When “looking after the baby” becomes segregated into a set of specific tasks it becomes so much easier for your partner to handle them. It is best if you give your partner a defined schedule in all baby related tasks; this is the best and easiest way to get your partner involved. Give Your Partner Ownership Over Specific Jobs
If you really want your partner to become an involved father then it is important to start giving him ownership over some important areas of the baby’s life. In the early baby stages this may be giving child a bath and in the toddler phases this may be preparing milk shake and when your child grows up this area may be something like supervising the math’s homework. Whatever the area is do not interfere much into it even if you feel that things are not going according to your perspective. Remember that it is important for you to listen and incorporate your partner’s views into the parenting process otherwise how will he become an involved parent.
Now that you know these tips do not waste any more time before implementing them. The results are always best if you start involving your partner early in the parenting process. How to encourage dads to get involved in parenting? What help can dads provide to mothers while raising kids? What does it mean to be a ‘Supportive Father’? Discuss here.
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- The Indiaparenting Team
