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You are here : home > Raising Children > Parental Dilemmas > Problems with In-Laws?

Problems with In-Laws?

Every marriage comes with adjustment because of the union of two different families. Neither does it mean the end of one's freedom nor putting up with torture. The key is to find a balance. Learn some ways to tide over some uncomfortable situations.

It's so much easier to cry about the way things are, to grumble and to complain, than it is to build up the courage to change our circumstances.  We'd rather leave it up to God, and when we 'realise' that God is not hearing our cries, we start losing faith. A man sat in a boat and expected God to row him ashore. God didn't, the boat capsized and when the man reached heaven he asked God why He didn't save him. "I cried for help God. Why didn't you come to my aid?" "But I did!" said God. "I gave you the oars!"

Everyone has their share of problems, and dealing with difficult in-laws is one problem faced by most Indian women. 

Shradha's mother-in-law constantly taunted her, and though she complained to her husband, he preferred to stay out of it. He was supportive, but didn't want to intervene. It was only when Shradha had a nervous breakdown did he realise the severity of the situation, and he moved out of his parents' home with his wife and children. 
 

Move Out

While living separately can change a lot of things, due to financial restrictions it is not always possible to move out of the parents home, at least, not at the drop of a hat. But they could always aim towards buying a house of their own. For every couple undergoing in-law problems, their first goal should be to find independent accommodation, so they can live in peace and bring up their children in a loving atmosphere. 
 

Get A Job

If moving out is not possible for the time being, you, as a woman should change your mindset and try and become more proactive. Get a job. Speak to your friends, neighbours, anyone you know, to find out if anyone knows of any vacancies. Go for interviews and don't take it as a personal insult if you are not selected for the job. J.K. Rowling was rejected by more than 20 publishers before she finally got someone to publish Harry Potter. And now, she's a millionaire 20 times over!

If you are not career oriented and don't forsee yourself in a high-profile career, opt for an easygoing job that will get you out of the house by 9, and in by around 5:30. It will be a change of atmosphere for you. You will make new friends, interact with new people, and no matter how light your job, it will definitely contribute to your personality development.  Getting out of the house, rushing to your office, mingling with colleages or customers, making your contribution to the workforce and the economy, getting your salary check at the end of the month, looking forward to weekends and hating Monday mornings, are all parts of the life of an office-goer, and have their own charm. 

A job routines you. You're out of the house at a particular time, and you're back at a certain time. As a result, you bathe on time, breakfast on time, lunch on time etc. If you feel that you will not have enough time to do all the things you want to do when you're in a job, you'll be surprised at how you still manage to fit in everything!. True, you'll have to miss those kitty party mid-week lunches, but it's a small sacrifice for something that's so much more fulfilling in the long run. Before you know it, you'll be taking time out for other activities by waking up earlier in the mornings or spending less time in front of the television. 

Don't take up a job at the other end of the town if you can avoid it, especially if you are a working mother and have no permanent help. Waking up early every morning to cook lunch for your family and then rushing out to catch the local train, returning home and cooking dinner - is not what I would call an ideal existence. Such an existence is a reality for many, due to the force of circumstance, but I have always believed that the human will is a far more powerful force, and can overcome the force of circumstance with perseverance.  Don't be afraid of change. 
 

Keep Your Distance

Continue to respect your mother in law - she is, after all, your husbands mother - but don't be submissive. Be cordial and polite, but keep your distance - physically and emotionally. Don't try and win her over, or it will only cause more hurt when you are faced with ingratitude. 

Don't volunteer needlessly. If you are asked for help, and if you are free or can fit it into your schedule, help out by all means, but if you don't have the time, say so firmly and politely, and offer to extend help the next time.
 

Cultivate A Hobby

Join a performing arts class like dancing or singing. It will help you release some of that pent-up frustration and stress. 
 

Find Your Inner Strength

Don't let yourself get upset by the constant nagging, snide remarks and ingratitude of vicious in-laws. Though this is easier said than done, you will have to work at it, and this is only possible once you have your own life, so go for it! 
 
 

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pedro.2 months ago
Hello.........
my name is Mrs lawrenta pedro,i am from Manchester united,i am happily
married and blessed with kids,i am a business woman and my husband is
business man too we both operating provision store, on October 1st 2010 me
and my husband embank on a trip to South Africa,on our way back,we had a terrible
accident,that took my husband's life,while i was rushed to the hospital,by
god grace,i was still living,after a year and seven month,when my husband
were passed away,a man came to my house,and ask me to get married to him,
unknown, that he was HIV positive and i never bordered to conduct a check
up test with him,before,i accepted him into my life,why,because,he was so
cute,gentle and handsome young man,he was so caring.i never look at
him,like one that would be hiv positive.after two year of our marriage,my
body system began to weak up,all day i feel dizzy and lazy,and i began to
lose weight as well, so i went for a check up test ,for
[fever,hiv/aid,malaria],the result, show me that, i am HIV positive.so i
was afraid,that,i would die,so, i were running from hospitals,churches and
native doctors,searching for cure, because i didn't want to die.one day i
went to a pastor's house,i told him my problem;as i was telling the pastor
my problem, there was one man which was with us,which i never look at his
face,the pastor prayed for me,on my way out , this same man,who was siting
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JANE.2 months ago
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Mrs Sarah.3 months ago
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Mrs Sarah.3 months ago
My Name is Sarah, From United Kingdom. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr.Sammy has just done for me,this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Mr.Kenny we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email:(drsammyantispell@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr.Sammy for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:

1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
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(9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money or properties? or call him +2348162024853
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  .
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Mrs.3 months ago
My Name is Sarah, From United Kingdom. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr.Sammy has just done for me,this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Mr.Kenny we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email:(drsammyantispell@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr.Sammy for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:

1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money or properties? or call him +2348162024853
drsammyantispell@gmail.com
  .
Reply
Mrs Sarah.3 months ago
My Name is Sarah, From United Kingdom. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr.Sammy has just done for me,this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, I was married to this man called Mr.Kenny we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email:(drsammyantispell@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr.Sammy for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:

1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money or properties? or call him +2348162024853
drsammyantispell@gmail.com
  .
Reply
PayBack.3 months ago
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Exlovers.3 months ago
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back if HE Cheated On You; www.quickrevengespell.com
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Reply
Kristine.5 months ago
My name is Kristine Helm. My life has been sour since i became a cripple at the age of 13 and this has really affected my living. I met Nelson Justin during the Olympic when i was 24 years old and he was a very funny and caring guy who taught me how important i am to world. He made me understands been crippled is not the end of the world for me and i was very happy having him as my companion. Justin was a very hardworking guy and he promise to marry me before he left for business trip in China. Two months later he arrived from China and never visited me. I was told by my brother that Justin is now going out with my friend and this really broke me down cos he is the only one that truly loves me. No one wants to go out with me because i am a cripple. I and my brother traveled to South Africa to watch the world cup when i heard about temple of permanent healing. I never believe in God because i am a cripple and i believe that no one can ever make me walk again but when i heard about his great power, i decided to go there. I begged my brother to take me to temple of permanent healing. I spent 7 days in his healing center and it surprises me that on the 7th day, i was able to stand and walk. The priest told me that Justin was under a spell and he prayed for me to destroy every obstacle in my life. I came back home and i was shocked to see Justin. He came and begged me for forgiveness, our relationship came back normal. I am very happy to inform the general public that i and Justin are happily married since October last year and i am pregnant. I know that people might be passing through any problem and i will advise you to contact temple of permanent healing because his miracle is free. His email address is templeofpermanenthealing@hotmail. com
  .
Reply
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