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Role of in-laws:weird MIL

2006-07-24

Name: aabb hi
i have been reading some posts here.I also have a weird MIL but in a positive way(touch wood).My hubby is the youngest of two sons.(no SIL thank god) and my hubby is my MILs pet,my FIL died some 5 years ago.Yet she is not possesive abt her son.She is not a tactful person very frank she says what she is in her hurt sometimes it hurts other people.But till now she hasnt said nothing of that sort to me coz i was with my hubby in his home for only a week and came to usa.My MIL gave us total privacy when we were there.She even asked my hubby to take me to pictures as we were newly wed.She buys me flowers daily evening.She kept a cook untill we were there so no one needs to spend time in cooking.For the one week we were there we went outing during the evenings alone and when we come back she will just keep the dinner in the table and go inside her bedroom so that we can watch TV in the living room and have our privacy.She didnt utter one poking word about me or my family when I was there.(touchwood).Also she gave all my jewels to me even though I insisted she keep it ,she said she is afraid as she will be going to her sisters house out of station frequently and asked me to do whatever i want to take it to US or give it to my parents.She has her own income and she doesnt expect from her sons any money and she expects to save them for their family.Even the marriage and marriage expenses are totaly bared by my hubbys side.My hubby is also not typical(touchwood) .He got me lot of costly gifts like IPOD from US,and in the second of my marriage everyone were busy settling bills that I was sitting calm as its a new environment.He thought I was upset and came and asked me if anyone bothered u I will ask the person abt it.Now the most weirdest thing is after coming to US my hubby doesnt expect me to speak to his mother on a regular basis.He speaks maybe once in 15 days and my MIL doesnt interfere and ask whats going on in our life.She will talk for 10 mts with my hubby and thats it.Also she is a reserved person and talks very little and she knows am also a little reserved so expect formality talks theres nothing to talk between us.That too i talk once in 3 months like that.Now she is got a visa and she is coming maybe for 3 months and i dont know how to deal with her as I have been with her for only 1 week and not talked that much thru phone also.pls me advice me coz untill now I have null interference from my hubbys relatives and I want to maintain that.My hubby is also supportive,caring and understanding.Infact he cares for me a lot than I care for him.Like when we fight he knows I dont eat so atleast to make me eat he comes and pacifies me.So i dont want my hubby to change from being this caring person.please bare with the long mail.

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2006-07-25

Name: HI
Subject:

u r one lucky girl

hi aabb

u sure r very very lucky to have a dream huby and mother in law. i'm so happy for u friend. but the man thing, u have ot keep it.

so when ur mil comes, be loving caring and respect her . also NEVER EVER BREAK THAT DISTNCE U HAVE NOW WITH HER. that distance is the best way to keep a mil -dil relationship.
take good care of her make her feel that u respect her love her ONLY IN THST DISTANCE. that is the best. BE WISE

so don't be tensed, enjoy life with ur hubby.

u r one lucky girl be happy always dear

2006-07-26

Name: SR
Subject:

I totally agree with HI!

Keep the distance. If you get too close, she will start taking you for granted.
All the best.

2006-07-25

Name: SR
Subject:

Lucky girl

Hi

You are indeed a very lucky person.
I hope your life always carries on smoothly like this.

Well as far as MIL coming to visit... I think when she comes to the US, best thing is keep her occupied. Find out what interests her...things like shopping which every woman enjoys can be carried out. Take her sight-seeing etc.
The way she made your stay with her nice and peaceful...do the same for her.
But do not get carried away either!!!

Enjoy.

2006-07-24

Name: sami
Subject:

Tooooooootally agree with silver.You've got a blessed life.Just be yourself.Your mil and hubby have given you that opportunity.God bless you and may your life be just this smooth always.
The best person to ask would be your hubby.He knows his mom the best and you could only strenghten your bond by confiding in him that since you have had much little time with your mil you would want to know how to behave.If that does not suit you just be yourself how you have been all along.
All the best and (touchwood) your life be good always.

2006-07-24

Name: aabb
Subject:

thank u friends

Thank you for your reply and support friends.Before engagement itself my hubby said that my mother is not a tactful speaker (i.e) even though she is good at heart she doesnt speak very lovey dovey and all and she says her opinions frankly sometimes that hurts other people but I am kind of better with a frank person than a sweet talking person who back stabs.Also he said he himself will ask his mother to help in cooking as she is very active and is an early bird as I may be working in few months.Also he has asked me to adjust for only little things like i dont keep bindhi or put jewels when i am at home but she may insist on that.But these are little things and I dont want to make a big issue of these little things.She is kind of a spiritual person she prays a lot and reads a lot of spiritual books thats her past time so my hubby said she would me spending much of her time doing this and cooking only.I said to my hubby that I will adjust for anything but I cant hear anything bad about my family.He has given his word that if at all she speaks anything abt ur family just come to me I will make sure she doesnt repeat it.Hope everything goes well and god bless my hubby.we should atleast free the next generation from these problems.

2006-07-24

Name: silver
Subject:

congrats!

Congrats,
U've gifted a good life .
The simple formula u can remember for ever is...dont ever let evil thoughts enter ur mind. That works best for ur life.
Also, dont share with friends or even ur family if u find any fault with her. Just ignore and maintain good rappo.Because u had spent only 1 week and now u r going to spend more time which gives scope to find faults.So, be positive to her. Be urself nice and one more suggestion is... dont try to over nice or overact (sorry).
Because it seems, ur mil and hubby r practical and be just as u r and nice
to them .
Ok,dear.takecare and love and respect her honestly.So u'll not going to have problems ever.

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