Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi frds,

Mine was a arrange marriage 2.5 yrs back and since from the begning my MIL & SIL was fighting with me on some or the other issue...

things got so bad that after 3 months of marrige i had to separate my kitchen.... but since my MIL was residing in the same building on GF her interfarence was very much there in everything..
my husband every day in the evening goes there for 1/2 hrs to spend tm with his mom....
in last 2.5 yrs i had really big fights with my MIL and i left my in laws house twice but come back after 15 days...
bec of my leaving house my husband got a impression in his mind that...\";U CAN LEAVE ME ANY TM BUT MY MOM WILL NEVER LEAVE ME AND BEC OF U I FIGHT (only once or twice in the begining) WITH THEM ... BEC OF U I HURT MY MOTHER BLAH BLAH...\";

Now my MIL is going out of india for one/two months..... and during that tm i want to win my husband's heart....

plzzz my dear frds tell me how can i impress my husband... i can i convey him that icare for him but only bec when he become totally one sided (favour his mother) than only i left home....

me and my husband are also planning to go for short (3-4 days) vacations
i FEEL THIS ISI THE ONLY TM TO STRENGTH OUR BOND BEC MY MIL WILL NOT BE THERE FOR 1/2 MONTHS... I DIDNT WANT TO LOOSE THIS CHANCE
Yes we have a 10 mths baby also... bec of him only our mariage has saved...

I would like to tell that my husband behaviour these days towards me a good but when he has to choose between me and his mom... he chooses his mom....
i want me to be also a important part of his life
plz help frd if u cd give me some tips to impress my husband...

Bye

BB Disclosed replied. I am 23 years old and got married seven months back. Mine was an arranged one. My marriage life is very worst. I am working as software professional. My husband never understands me and always find faults in whatever I do. He always supports his mother. He never talks with me in front of his parents .He will not at all talk with me. Each and everything he asks his mother to get it done for him and he treats me like a slave. He doesn’t understand me and my feelings. I didn’t tell about this to my parents as they will feel. I want to be nice with him but he doesn’t understand that. I don’t know what I am supposed to do. Could anyone please help. He works in shift and will reach home late in the nights and will not talk with me after reaching home. He doesn’t call me atleast once in a day. I have never spent five minutes with him alone in my home except during the nights. Please advise me…. Richa replied. Dear Friends,
I have been reading the articles frequently but today I felt like pouring some feeling out. Please bear with me for this.
I need some advice .i am a working woman.Mine was a arranged marriage. I belong to a simple middle class family , my father being a SAIL employee and mother being a homemake. My parent have given me and my younger brother the education needed to stand on out own feet.
As the indian tradition, my parents wanted me to get married in 2003 as they felt that it was the right age to go for this.I got married in 2003 . Life was OK with little hicups with my MIL but that was OK yill in June 2006 when I was blessed with a baby boy.
After 3 days of delivery i was discharged from hospital. At home My FIL and MIL were there and my parents were with me in hospital. My MIL behaved very badly with my mother which I could not tolerate.Although I needed my mother , my MIL was always trying to tell that she was the person to be alloed to be with me . But she was of no help to me. She did all wromg things to me. She is a hypocraite who will say something to me and something else to my husband.
She told something to my hubby and my hubby misbehaved and almost came to hit me that night when it was the 3rd day of my delicery and I had 6-8 stiched unhealed. After that the series of mental torture started to me and my family. His parent asked him to break all relations with my family and also told him that I dont have any realtionship with his. My family is veruy broken with all these. My hubby stays in Mumbai as he took a transfer last year. i am working here and am not getting any job there . My parent hae come to stay with me to take care of my son. My hubby goes to Pune to his inlaws every week but its 5 months that he has not met us. We talk over phone.
I am financially independent and run the household myself with my salary. he send a nominal amount for the kid.
I am very depressed and helpless. Please help!
Richa. silver replied. Hi, bb, I'm back.

dont worry. things definitely get settled one fine day. Simply wait for it.It's not her who going to share everything forever with him.He know ur importance and sure did he love you. But he has some sympothy over her. and he doesnt want to change himself. Of course, he is not seeing any reason to oppose his mom while favouring u.

Any man feel sympothy over weeker side. He believes u r strong and young to manage things and that his mom is old ,he is offering a helping hand in every matter.
It never means he love his mom more than u.First, U stop comparng dear. Then u can c result.

Both of u are important ladies in his life in different directions .So dont try to see his love towards another end. Probably u have evidence that he showing bias to his mom.Those might be real but it's foolproof that he love u too but cant show u that until u appear to be stopping comparing with her.

Try to be behaving like old movie heroine :) !


It happened to me. and when I compare he say \";y do u compare with them\"; I stopped comparing and used to feel \";yes, Its not him feeling them his.And I have to feel same \"; so, I started saying or treating his mil and sil as 'our'entitities and not only 'his' entities.Hope u understod minude thing hidden in it.
this suggestion not only for u but for every DIL suffer from these hubby's bias problem. I experienced the difference in treating them ours and not his.

Any doubts, let me know!Take care, dear.
Be nice to ur hubby and if possible try to be nice with mil (unless she abuse u badly) .And dont urself tell she is not being nice to u. give him time to realise it.but reember, he
'll not feel she is bad though he realise it and not going to oppose her. Dont expect it near future. If u r not expecting him to oppose his mom...ur actions show it and ur words say it without ur knowledge and he can c it!! Then he start believing u too.

Take care.dear.After all they shared first quarter life without any competitors with them and then u entered.It might take at least half of that time to win his heart totally while u r having those who try in everystep to ruin your good deeds to ur hubby.

So, give ur total love without feeling competition with any one.Then in sooner time u can win him .And he can c things without bias and can analyse where honesty is now!!

Love,Silver. anonymous replied. Hi BB

You need help.. and you need it now...

please visit:

wwwdotcalastrologydotcom and there you will get all the help you want...
Please visit this site and your life will change for good. silver replied. hi bb,
yes,it's time to strenghten ur bond with hubby.For that u need to be cool and chilled.
Don't ever get the topic of them or previous fights and incidents.
Dont try to convey his how u were right in previous situations.
Just forgtet all the topics about them and dont even mention their name
just talk bout other things happening all over world but not ur MIL

So, u can observe in every poiny one message is underlying...forget 'bout mil these months and spend ur jolly time with him.Lastly, when she is coming back again just a word with him could do enough...\";now that, I want to treat ur mom too good regardless how she taunt me,let me c how can i succeed in trying nice to be with ur mom too.but pl dont ever interfere in me and ur moms things.Because ur interference make things worst and its me who gets hurt by feeling left alone ...so pl dont interfere\";

That might change him for commenting u and suspecting u for the loss of peace in home.Try ur best to keep him happy not in these 2 months but for ever.
Finally, one word...always behave like good and finally, when someone counts whose faults r more... u shd stand in next place to ur mil. behave accordingly.That makes him feel good 'bout u.
All the best, dear! Patience always win ...just wait and see!!