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Teen Issues Topics..

You are here : home > Teen Issues > Teen Problems > Infatuation or love ?

Infatuation or love?

Infatuation or love?

Infatuation or love?

Jaya (17) and Shashank (18) are both high school students who think they are in love. They feel the world is at their feet. The moment Jaya thinks about Shashank, her face glows with joy. Both believe they are made for each other and should get married at the earliest. Irrespective of what their parents may advice, they want to tie the knot right away. Everything seemed very rosy till the time they actually got married and went through the harsh practicality of life. Fights over petty issues and constant nagging from both sides turned their dream of heaven into hell.


Teenage years are like spring in one's life. When children enter their teens they go through certain biological and psychological changes, which is termed as adolescence. Physical attraction towards the opposite sex is natural fallout of adolescence, which is the transition period to adulthood. Children in their early teens who live under the protective shelter of their families barely experience life in all its aspects and often take life to be one fairytale. Infatuation is quick to grip their tender hearts and they often mistake it to be undying love.

It is not their fault; it is their age that is responsible for such misadventures. This is the time when they should be concentrating on their education and career. Unfortunately, these issues take a backseat. It is the parent's prime duty and responsibility to guard their wards against such mishaps, to warn them about the pitfalls of infatuation and its disastrous effects on their future.

Here are some guidelines to help your child come out of the web of infatuation.

Tell them to be patient

Tell them to buy time. Make it a deal. Ask them to wait till they become adults and secure their future. Then you can relent and consider their side too. Warn them not to take any decisions in a hurry. Make them understand that they need to give time and space to each other. Let them judge for themselves, whether their relationship can stand the test of time.

Point out differences in lifestyles

Social surroundings and one's lifestyle plays a vital role in the extent of commitment and adjustment one can make. Is your child ready to sacrifice some to adjust to the lifestyle of his or her partner? As a parent, you must point out the differences in the lifestyle of both families and explain the pros and cons of the situation. Your ward might not be able to cope up with drastic changes. It is possible that they may have overlooked such parameters.

Stress on importance of financial security

Let your children know how important it is to equate love with financial as well as social security, in order to get a healthy balance in life. Let them know gently, but firmly, that life seems hunky dory as long as the parents' are providing their lavish lifestyles. Let them know that they should first strive to achieve that financial stability before they can build castles in the air.

Keep your communication lines open

Doubts and misconceptions are two evils that can ruin one's life. Encourage your child to be open and clear on all issues however trivial they may seem in the face of the current problem. By keeping the communication lines open you can win over your child's trust. Knowing that you are a friend and are always there for your child, no matter what, is very important. It will make him see you as a supporter and well-wisher and not an opponent.

More to social relationships than 'you' and 'me'

Children should learn that relationships flourish on trust but not on blind trust. They should know how to live within their means. Life should not be self-centric; it should enable you to see beyond "you" and "me". They should be able to survive and sail through rough waters.

Arm them to take decisions

Talk to your teenagers as young adults and not as children. Parents cannot force their teenagers to behave in a certain manner but surely they can guide them, so they are not misled. Imbibe them with the knowledge to differentiate between reality and illusion. There is absolutely nothing wrong in falling in love; it can be the most beautiful experience of one's life provided decisions are taken with an open mind and clear head. Teach him the wisdom of "Love with thy heart; think with thy mind."

All said and done, it is possible that you may not be able to save your teenager from the pitfalls of infatuation, but at least you have passed a word of caution.

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shaggy.10 years ago
this articles shows the most common problem which every parents go through in making their child understand the meaning of love.
Dhano.10 years ago
we've all been there and felt that. its easier to understand this now being a parent than it was when you were there itself. good to be able to read reality now!
good work.
Takira.10 years ago
we as teens have not yet experience any real love. except the love of your parents. we can think that we love somebody or they love us until something goes wrong. also i feel no one can tell anyone else the meaning of love.
FrEdDiE.10 years ago
i think we've all been infatuated. but obviously we think it's love because when you're infatuated you can't tell the difference between love and infatuation. and when someone asks me what is love...i dunno the answer to it...
Shay.10 years ago
i know i've thought i was in love, but, in the end, it was just a crush. that still doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt because it does! parents often don't comfort their children when they don't listen to them, which, sometimes, makes it hurt worse!
mansh.10 years ago
yup its nice.. the way u defined trust and blind trust.. and we reallly need to teach and guide childrens so they can protect themself frm childhood love for their better carrier.
RANI.10 years ago
infatuation is not real love but just an attraction which does not last long but
love is divine it slowly improves without expecting
pooja.10 years ago
i am 19 year old girl and i am in love with 25year old guy, when i was in 8 std, at that time i saw him first time. at first he was afraid of telling about this to his parents, but now he told to his parents and mostly we are going to marry in one year. so what u think that should i marry at this age. plz send ur advices at my email id

my email id is
Scenario.10 years ago
love is hard to find... if you said that you like someone, that doesnt mean that you love her... maybe its just a feeling that will last for a few months or so... or it may just be an infatuation...
nikki.10 years ago
i have a boyfreind that i first met in camp. we like were friends and i trust him beyong words. but now i'm questioning my relationship. love or infatuation? pleases tell me. iand now i think when i look at others guys i'm cheating. also bear in mind that i was raped.
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