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Coping with Failing

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Teach your child to view failure as success delayed. Failing an exam or repeating a class can be traumatic and you play a pivotal role in helping him through this crisis.


Here are some reasons your child may have failed.

Insufficient written practice: "She answers everything the night before the test but I don't know what happens the next day," rues Akanksha. A child might do well in oral test but might need a lot of practice in written ones.

Faulty teaching methods: Many children fail to develop in overpopulated classrooms where there is less active involvement of the teachers.

Learning disabilities: Some children have problems focusing, grasping, memorizing and writing because their minds are wired in a different way. Get a psycho-educational analysis done by a trained specialist to find out the problem and identify weaknesses and strengths.

Expectations: Many children bear the burden of mounting parental expectations and just crumble during testing times.

Distractions: Studying is harder when there are many distractions around. Television, computer games and the Internet can be addictive. Work on curtailing these distractions.

Psychological problems: Traumatic events like divorce or violence at home can hamper your child's studies. Perhaps he is being bullied? Find out.

Health problems: Your child needs to be completely fit to use his mental faculties in the best possible way. Migraines, anemia, vision problems can prevent her from doing well in tests.


What should parents do

Failing a test or two should immediately make you sit up and pay attention before your child fails the year.

Rein in your temper: Yelling at your child might plunge him in depression. A reprimand might bring back focus in a negligent child but will harm a child with a learning disability.

Stay close: Cheer up your little one. Make him feel that failing a class does not make him less lovable to you.

Make him talk: Has anything been troubling him? View your child's failure as a realization that your child needs you. It can help you find something you had overlooked, and correct it before it grows worse.

Give a pep talk: Tell him although things didn't go as planned, you will work together from now on. Encourage him to view this as a wake-up call.

Become more involved: Meet teachers, control distractions… become actively involved in your child's schooling. In cases of learning disorder, a parent-school alliance is crucial.

Encourage extra-curricular activities: A new successful activity can bring back motivation and focus in your child's life. If your child decides to participate in a school play, it will mean more than just your signed approval slip. You might have to opt out for comfortable car pools to pick her up after rehearsals. But your efforts will pay dividends.

Better your home environment: Happy and supportive homes help in academic success.

Praise success: Acknowledge failure but laud the tiniest of successes. This will help him develop a positive attitude.

A failure can be a learning opportunity for both parents and child. Reinforce this idea and help your child overcome obstacles.

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Anita Sharma
Anita Sharma.10 years ago
this is a great article, which will make us overcome failure with a understanding of child mind.
 
 
 
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laxmi narayanan
laxmi narayanan.10 years ago
providing positive reinforcement too play a role in progress in academic achievement of the child
 
 
 
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ST
ST.10 years ago
why does it have to be always him? why can't it be a her?
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