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Women's Issues Topics..

You are here : home > Women's Issues > Feminism > Find Support

Find Support

Find Support

It is a brave person who can put up a happy front despite being unhappy. However, do try and find support. It will help you cope.

Very often when we go through troublesome times, we draw inwards and try to hide our problems from the rest of the world. We put on a brave face and pretend as though everything is going great, while in reality our world may be crumbling around us.

However, you do need to find a balance, and this often comes from finding support from the right people.
If you are unhappy about some aspect in your life either because you may have an abusive husband or in-laws, or if you are under financial strain, don't discuss these aspects with everyone as you may not find the support you are looking for and it is not very dignified to wash your dirty linen in public. In addition, if you speak to the wrong person, he or she may view your troubles as gossip, and discuss it with many others. You don't want everyone you are associated with to know every sordid detail of your life, as it doesn't solve any problems and may only worsen them. There is advantage in keeping your mouth shut. Speak only to your closest friends, who will give you support without gossiping about your life's troubles with everyone.


If you discuss your problems with a couple of close friends, chances are that they may not be facing the same issues you are. However, they can offer you an ear and a shoulder to cry on, and often this is all many people look for. At times friends may get very judgemental, and this may cause arguments. Every time Lalitha spoke to her closest friend Shikha about the problems she would have with her sister-in-law, Shikha would try and play Devil's advocate. She would defend Shikha and try to make Lalitha see her sister-in-law's point of view. This angered Lalitha no end, and she felt that since Shikha was not going through the same thing, she would never be able to understand.


This is perhaps one of the reasons online boards are so active. These boards offer anonymity and are an ideal forum to voice your troubles. Lalitha then logged on to an online board, and found that she could discuss her feeling freely. She also met many other women who were going through almost the exact same thing, and as a result they could understand and relate to her point of view.
"It made me feel that I was not alone."
If you are the only one in your friend's circle who is going through a certain problem or tragedy, this may make you even more depressed and isolated. However, once you realize that there are so many others out there who are going through the exact same thing and who feel just like you do, this knowledge can help you cope much better. Knowing that you are not alone can give you a lot of strength.

Group therapy

You could also seek out group therapy under the guidance of an expert. Those who are going through the same problems you are can tell you how they cope, and you are more likely to follow their suggestions than those of friends who haven't had the same experiences. They provide you with positive reinforcements and support, which can help you overcome your depression to an incredible degree. Never underestimate the power of group support, especially in cases of depression.

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hi.11 years ago
good article
savio.11 years ago
how do we go through in life with troubling husbands who intentionally hurt their wives with their sarcastic barbs and always support their parents no matter how much they harass the daughter in law?
nidhi.11 years ago
in-laws are troublesome and they try to create troubles for their daughter-in-laws in any possible manner. it can be stopped if the husbands support their wives and fight against his parents if they r wrong but in most cases, they dont do and ask their wives to adjust.women, in india, in most houses, are truly tortured in some or the other way.
neelima.11 years ago
article is good but in this article you did'nt mentioned the that website name where we could discuss our problems.
hay.11 years ago
i have been married for around six years. my husbands approach has been killing me. he generally prefers to be passive. we r in u.s so i am as such away from my inlaws but when i was with them they were so hypocrite. and same is with him. if i try to talk to him he is like oh ya and that's it. i have drifted apart from him so much. he hardly cares. we miss that absolute connection.i dont know how to explain.
need advice
need advice.11 years ago
well i m happily married with a child....till now.and my husbad is also a nice man....infact i m the decision makeer in the house. we stay abroad ....but he is too busy with his work and i m all alone with my kid.....till now i was thinking that i m happyily married lucky to have everything in life....but then we had a small husband is a smoker and he also wants to drink to which i opposed furioulsy and he even obeyed and is not drinking.....but then i realised that he dosenot love me....i mean i m like a unpaid romance, just a very monotoneous predictable life.....whenever i write to him a loveletter on a anniversary,he dosenot even reply to me....then i wrote a letter taking idea from this site itself that i exist....and atleast call me sometime....atleast when i m sick....i need u emotionally too.but he never dose any such thing to make me feel special....i not asking for poetry or roses or expensive gifts but once a while take time for me.....i left my career ,parents, coutry everything for u.....and for the other person i m nothing.....i m feeling very depressed....whether i m wasting my life....pls guide me! yeah i love him,but how can i make him understand that i need some attention....some do i get that zinkthing in my life back.....and feel happy again.,..or m i just expecting too much in life,,,,,,and all the husbands take their wife granted after some time....i feel lucky and feel sad for people having abusive husbands and inlaws....
i have no problem of that kind like others but i m not happy....what do i do????
sharada.11 years ago
i want to fix my marriage, where do i need to consult
munni.11 years ago
my husband is not a bad guy hedonnt have any bad habit. if idon,t listen to him he will hit infront of kids. after 6 years i decided to leave him.
Seema.11 years ago
can i have the address of any of the boards which can help me resolve my problems
marina.11 years ago
i lived with an aggressive,abusive husband in france for 8 years. had one daughter. lost my second child who was a boy. came to india and finally divorced him becoz' i could'nt take it any more. thank god i now have custody of my daughter who is 10 yrs old and i have been working for the past 4 yrs now becoz' my ex refused to give me any alimony. u can only take it for some time after that i think u should make up yr mind take a decision and stick by it. after all there are many fish in the sea. his loss is someone less gain.
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