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Find Support

Find Support

It is a brave person who can put up a happy front despite being unhappy. However, do try and find support. It will help you cope.

Very often when we go through troublesome times, we draw inwards and try to hide our problems from the rest of the world. We put on a brave face and pretend as though everything is going great, while in reality our world may be crumbling around us.

However, you do need to find a balance, and this often comes from finding support from the right people.
If you are unhappy about some aspect in your life either because you may have an abusive husband or in-laws, or if you are under financial strain, don't discuss these aspects with everyone as you may not find the support you are looking for and it is not very dignified to wash your dirty linen in public. In addition, if you speak to the wrong person, he or she may view your troubles as gossip, and discuss it with many others. You don't want everyone you are associated with to know every sordid detail of your life, as it doesn't solve any problems and may only worsen them. There is advantage in keeping your mouth shut. Speak only to your closest friends, who will give you support without gossiping about your life's troubles with everyone.

Friends

If you discuss your problems with a couple of close friends, chances are that they may not be facing the same issues you are. However, they can offer you an ear and a shoulder to cry on, and often this is all many people look for. At times friends may get very judgemental, and this may cause arguments. Every time Lalitha spoke to her closest friend Shikha about the problems she would have with her sister-in-law, Shikha would try and play Devil's advocate. She would defend Shikha and try to make Lalitha see her sister-in-law's point of view. This angered Lalitha no end, and she felt that since Shikha was not going through the same thing, she would never be able to understand.

Boards

This is perhaps one of the reasons online boards are so active. These boards offer anonymity and are an ideal forum to voice your troubles. Lalitha then logged on to an online board, and found that she could discuss her feeling freely. She also met many other women who were going through almost the exact same thing, and as a result they could understand and relate to her point of view.
"It made me feel that I was not alone."
If you are the only one in your friend's circle who is going through a certain problem or tragedy, this may make you even more depressed and isolated. However, once you realize that there are so many others out there who are going through the exact same thing and who feel just like you do, this knowledge can help you cope much better. Knowing that you are not alone can give you a lot of strength.

Group therapy

You could also seek out group therapy under the guidance of an expert. Those who are going through the same problems you are can tell you how they cope, and you are more likely to follow their suggestions than those of friends who haven't had the same experiences. They provide you with positive reinforcements and support, which can help you overcome your depression to an incredible degree. Never underestimate the power of group support, especially in cases of depression.


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